Building Trust and Rapport page

Overview

A large part of being successful as a consultant is building trust and rapport with your client. If a client trusts and likes you, you will gain influence. The more influence you have, the easier it will be to impact key decisions at key moments.

We’re no experts at schmoozing, but this section includes helpful tips towards building trust and rapport with anyone.

Trust

Trust is someone’s confidence in or reliance on you to get the job done. Confidence means that they believe you’ll get the job done — reliance means they are dependent on you. Ideally, you want everyone who relies on you to also be confident that you’ll get the job done.

Trust takes time to build but it can be earned over time through consistent actions. On the flipside, trust can easily be lost in a short amount of time. Ultimately, consistently delivering what you promise — on time and within budget — is the best way to increase trust.

On a perfect project, that’s easy. But in reality, projects rarely run that smoothly.

Fortunately, clients understand that things aren’t always perfect. But as technology consultants, it’s up to us to communicate problems, questions, and concerns to clients. When you are up front and honest with clients, it builds trust that you are doing the right thing. Similarly, it’s important to set expectations so you can meet them. A client will trust you more if you regularly deliver early vs. being consistently late.

These are so important they have their own trainings!

• Effective Communication
• Setting Expectations

In this section, we’ll discuss ways to boost trust on any project and on projects where things aren’t perfect.

Make a great first impression

First impressions are critical in setting the tone for your relationship with the client. A positive first impression demonstrates your capability, dependability, and professionalism.

First impressions are formed quickly and can have a lasting impact on how the client perceives you throughout the project. A strong first impression builds a foundation of trust and sets the stage for a productive working relationship.

Here are key strategies to ensure you make a great first impression:

• Dress the part: Wear business casual attire for your initial meeting, whether in-person or virtual. Adjust your attire to align with the client’s workplace culture subsequently.
• Be punctual: Arrive on time for meetings, whether they are in-person or virtual. Being punctual shows respect for the client’s time and demonstrates reliability.
• Introduce yourself: Prepare a brief, engaging introduction that includes how your skills and experience are relevant to the client’s project.

Be present in virtual calls:

• Turn your camera on: When meeting virtually, always have your video camera on. This helps create a more personal connection.
• Have good lighting: Ensure you have good lighting so your face is clearly visible. Natural light is best, but a well-placed lamp can also work.
• Stay centered in frame: Position yourself in the center of the frame, with your face clearly visible. Avoid distracting backgrounds or ensure a virtual background is appropriate and professional.

Use body language to your advantage:

• Keep eye contact: Maintain eye contact to show you are engaged and interested in the conversation. It conveys confidence and honesty.
• Be attentive: Nod and use other small gestures to show you are actively listening. Lean in slightly to show your interest and engagement.
• Use open gestures: Use open and approachable body language. Avoid crossing your arms, which can appear defensive.

Tips and techniques:

• Wear professional clothing whenever you’re making a presentation: Nice clothes can also make you feel better and put you in the right mindset for success.

Deliver consistently and reliably

You can establish trust quickly and effectively by setting expectations appropriately and consistently delivering on what you say.

Here are key strategies to build and sustain your credibility:

• Set realistic expectations: Always set achievable goals and communicate them frequently. Consistently delivering on or before deadlines fosters trust because clients will see you as reliable and competent.
• Under-promise and over-deliver: Avoid being optimistic about what you can achieve and include buffer time in your estimations.
• Align actions with words: Make sure that what you say matches what you do. Consistency between your promises and actions builds trust.

Tips and techniques:

• Use a personal tracking system: Implement a system (e.g. daily notes documents or a to-do list app) to keep track of what you’ve promised and meet deadlines on time.
• Break down tasks: Divide larger tasks into smaller pieces so they’re easier to estimate and you can report progress on the pieces if a task lasts longer than a day or so.

Foster honesty and transparency

When you’re candid about your capabilities and timelines, clients gain a clearer understanding of what to expect, which sets the stage for realistic expectations.

• Be up front and honest: Clients appreciate transparency, especially when problems arise. Communicate issues, questions, and concerns openly. This honesty demonstrates your commitment to doing the right thing and builds trust. The more open and honest you are with other people, the more open they will be with you.
• Give regular updates: Provide regular and accurate updates to keep the client informed about the project’s status. Avoid surprises by communicating openly about any changes or issues.
• Admit (personal) mistakes: If you make a mistake, acknowledge it quickly and work on a solution. Taking responsibility shows integrity and a commitment to excellence. Be mindful not to take blame for something that is shared amongst the team or is due to a failure in process.

Tips and techniques:

• Keep task management software up to date: Try to keep tools like Jira up to date throughout the day. This allows clients to track progress in real-time, providing transparency and reassurance.

Speak up about things that employees are silent about

Employees are often operating in fear. Fear of stepping on someone’s toes, getting reprimanded or fired, saying the wrong thing and feeling embarrassed, etc.

Be courageous and speak out openly about the problems you see that stand in the way of success. Organizational problems, dogmatic process, bad UX, etc. Of course be polite and respectful, but don’t be afraid to say what’s wrong.

In the process of speaking honestly, clients tend to develop more and more trust in you, since you’re providing rare insights.

For the Bitovians refreshing their consulting skills: Bitovi will never fire an employee for speaking truth to power, so take advantage of it!

As a consultant, your external perspective is valuable. Use this advantage to address issues that internal employees might be hesitant to discuss.

Tips and techniques:

• Ask questions: Don’t hesitate to ask questions that others might be too afraid to ask.
• Focus on the positive: Frame feedback in terms of potential benefits: “I noticed this issue, and addressing it could really improve our efficiency.”
• Be courageous: Speak openly about problems that hinder success. Provide honest and respectful feedback on organizational issues, processes, and UX. This approach shows your commitment to the project’s success.

Show your competence and expertise

Demonstrating your expertise through detailed, high-quality work that exceeds expectations further solidifies this trust. By consistently showcasing your knowledge and attention to detail, you create a reliable and trustworthy partnership that encourages long-term collaboration and success.

• Share your past experiences: Share relevant knowledge and past experiences that address the client’s needs. Don’t have relevant experience? Use Bitovi’s Slack and your 1:1s to learn from other people’s experiences.
• Pay attention to details: Focus on the finer points and specific elements within a project. Notice and address small but important aspects that might otherwise be overlooked.
• Be thorough: Take a comprehensive and exhaustive approach to ensure that all aspects of your project are considered, tested, and completed to a high standard.

Tips and techniques:

• Give technical demos: When appropriate, offer to give live demonstrations of relevant tools or techniques to clients.
• Double check your work: Develop a habit of reviewing your work at least once before it’s reviewed by someone else. Check for accuracy, completeness, and alignment with the client’s requirements. For example, as a developer, you should review your own pull request changes before you ask others to review your work.
• Use checklists: Use checklists and templates for repetitive tasks to ensure consistency and completeness. For example, you might have a checklist for every time you pick up a story so that you remember to look at the requirements, ask questions early on, etc.

Maintain professionalism and integrity

Maintaining a high standard of professionalism and integrity is one key to building trust:

• Maintain integrity: Always be honest about what you can do and how long it will take. This honesty reinforces your reliability.
• Be responsive: Reply quickly to emails and messages, or set clear expectations for when you will be available.
• Securely store and share passwords: Use 1Password (or the client’s preferred tool) to securely share credentials with clients. Do not trust Slack (or any other chat tool) with secrets because all messages may be logged or retained.
• Store and share documents securely: Use Google Drive (or the client’s preferred tool) with proper access controls to ensure that sensitive documents are only accessible to authorized individuals.

Tips and techniques:

• If you’re not sure of an answer, maintain integrity by saying “I’m not sure, let me get back to you by tomorrow on that.”

Exercise

Questions to reflect:

• Reflect on a past project where you felt trust was strong between you and the client. What specific actions or behaviors contributed to building that trust?
• Think about a time when trust was broken in a professional setting. How was it handled, and what were the outcomes?

Rapport

As a consultant, you should have rapport with your client — a relationship of trust and respect. Building trust is a key component of this, but it’s also important that your client enjoys working with you.

Trust is about the client’s confidence in you, while rapport is about the quality of your relationship with the client.

In this section, we’ll discuss some key ways to build rapport over time. But first, let’s talk about how groups form and develop.

Tuckman’s stages of group development

Tuckman’s stages of group development provides a framework for understanding how teams evolve over time.

This model, proposed by psychologist Bruce Tuckman in 1965, outlines five stages:

1. Forming: This initial stage involves team members coming together and getting to know one another. For you, this means understanding the client’s business, goals, and team dynamics. It is crucial to establish a good first impression, clarify roles, and set initial expectations. During this phase, you should focus on building rapport, gathering information, and identifying key stakeholders.

2. Storming: As team members start to work together, conflicts and competition may arise. This stage is marked by a struggle for control and differing opinions. You might face resistance or skepticism from the client team. It’s important to address conflicts constructively, facilitate open communication, and help the team align on common goals. Demonstrating problem-solving skills and maintaining a neutral stance can be valuable during this period.

3. Norming: In this stage, the team begins to establish norms and develop a sense of cohesion. Relationships and trust are built, and team members start to collaborate more effectively. You should reinforce positive behaviors, contribute to creating a collaborative environment, and ensure that everyone is aligned with the project objectives.

4. Performing: At this stage, the team operates at a high level of efficiency and productivity. Roles are clear, and team members are motivated and autonomous. You can maximize their impact by leveraging their expertise to drive innovation, optimize processes, and deliver high-quality results. It’s important to stay adaptable, provide strategic insights, and continue supporting the team’s development.

5. Adjourning: Also known as the “mourning” stage, this final phase occurs when the project is completed, and the team disbands. For you, this involves wrapping up deliverables, documenting lessons learned, and ensuring a smooth transition. Reflecting on the project’s successes and challenges can provide valuable insights for future engagements. It’s also a time to celebrate achievements and acknowledge the contributions of all team members.

Tips and techniques:

• Meet in person: You might never hit the Performing stage without meeting in person because rapport is so much more difficult to build remotely. Meeting in person is almost like a cheat code because of the opportunities it provides you to build relationships outside of the work itself.
• Break the ice: Start some meetings with light icebreakers to help team members relax and open up. This can range from fun questions to team-building exercises.
• Celebrate wins: Regularly celebrate small wins to build morale and reinforce positive behaviors. This can be as simple as a shout-out in a meeting or recognition in the team chat.

Meet in person

It’s 10x easier to build rapport in person than it is over the Internet. We’ve found that meeting a person in the first weeks of a project makes the rest of the project go smoother. Find a way to meet in person whenever possible, especially for critical points in a project’s lifecycle (e.g. the start of a project).

• Meet as early as you can (in the project lifecycle): Meeting clients in person early in the project is highly effective for building rapport. Whenever possible, meet in person, especially at critical points in the project lifecycle. If in-person meetings aren’t possible, regular one-on-ones are crucial.
• Take your client out for a meal: Invite clients to lunch, dinner, drinks, or coffee, just to get to know them. While you’re there, try to learn three things about them not at all related to their career. Write it down and share it with others on your team.
• Bring snacks and swag: When traveling to a client location, bring company swag and snacks to share in the office. These gestures can create a positive atmosphere and strengthen relationships.

Tips and techniques:

• Ask your Principal: Some clients may have policies against receiving any gifts or being taken out for a meal, so always talk to your Principal first.
• Handwritten notes: Include a personalized note with the swag to add a thoughtful touch.

Build natural relationships

If you find yourself unable to meet in person, make time to have one-on-one’s on a consistent interval, like once every one or two weeks. We have also found just reaching out for a second opinion leads to an increase in trust in you and your work output.

Spending time with clients, whether in-person or virtually, is essential for building rapport. When meeting with clients, use the opportunity to get to know the person outside work.

• Don’t forget the “hellos” and “see you tomorrows”. Polite phrases like “Hello,” “Goodbye,” “Good morning,” and “See you tomorrow” all go a long way in increasing the frequency of pleasant interactions.
• Engage in small talk: Use the quiet time at the beginning of meetings to ask about their day and engage in small talk.
• Remember personal details: Pay close attention to hints of birthdays, weekend plans, kids, or things you might have in common. Anything that closes that gap between consultant and client increases likability and trust.
• Meet for one-on-ones: Meet at least one with everyone who’s in the same meetings as you, and introduce yourself to everyone a level out from your day-to-day work.
• Reach out for second opinions: Use these opportunities to increase trust in your work output by seeking feedback and second opinions.

Tips and techniques:

• Find common ground: Plan your first in-person meeting to include a mix of business and casual conversation to establish a personal connection. Identify shared interests or experiences to create a natural bond.
• Be present: Show genuine interest in the client’s business and personal interests.
• Follow up: Regularly follow up on previous conversations to show that you care and remember details about their life or business.
• Use people’s names: Use names in conversations to create a more personal and respectful interaction. Don’t overdo it though!
• Take notes: Write down what you learn about your client and teammates to remember and refer to in conversations.
• Apply the “reminds me of” technique for small talk: Relate something from your experience to what the other person shares to keep conversations flowing.

Remember that you share common goals

When consultants are added to a project, it’s common for an "us vs. them" mentality to develop. This can lead to conflict and reduced trust, especially amongst client peers that may not understand why you’re there. It’s important to communicate early and often to the team that you share common goals. Refer to the Engagement Summary Document that was created at the start of the project to refresh on the product’s goals.

Building a collaborative environment is key to overcoming the “us vs. them” mentality that can develop when consultants join a project.

• Combat the “us vs. them” mentality: Clearly communicate early and often that you share common goals with the team. Emphasize collaboration to build a unified front.
• Engagement Summary Document: Regularly refer to the Engagement Summary Document created at the start of the project to remind everyone of the shared objectives and reinforce the common goals.

Tips and techniques:

• During meetings, emphasize collaborative language like “we” and “our goals” instead of “you” and “your project.”

Adapt your communication style

When bureaucratic red tape stands in the way of progress, don’t take no for an answer. Humor can often be a way to be persistent without being annoying. For example, Justin loves to talk about the time he jokingly told a manager (who claimed it would take 4 weeks to get a dev server) that he would send an email to Steve Jobs asking him if he thought 4 weeks was an appropriate amount of time. Soon after, he got his dev server.

Likewise, adapting your communication style to match the client’s preferences enhances comfort and rapport.

• Know your audience: Avoid swearing and no-go subjects (e.g. politics, religion, etc.) until the client brings it up.
• Learn their communication style: If you don’t communicate in their style, you’re not only losing an opportunity to build rapport, you might be taking away from rapport you’ve already built. Be sure to learn how they want to communicate (direct/indirect, over email/chat/meetings, with small talk or not, etc.) and always follow that.
• Be playful to get what you want: Using humor in situations where you’re feeling frustrated and incredulous is often an effective way to get what you want while not making people hate you.
• Use light-hearted humor: Light jokes can make you seem more approachable and help others feel comfortable. Be sure to be inclusive, non-offensive, and don’t target anyone specifically.
• Respect differences: Show respect for cultural differences in communication, such as varying attitudes towards directness, gestures, and levels of formality.
• Avoid assumptions: Avoid making assumptions about cultural practices. When in doubt, ask your client about their preferences and be open to learning.

Tips and techniques:

• Use mirroring techniques in conversations to build rapport subtly.
• Ask clients directly about their preferred communication styles and adapt accordingly.

Exercise

Questions to reflect:

• How do you differentiate between trust and rapport in your professional relationships? Can you give an example where you experienced one without the other?
• How do you typically establish rapport with a new client? What techniques do you find most effective?
• Can you recall a situation where a strong rapport with a client helped navigate a challenging project phase? What was the outcome?
• How do you balance professionalism and rapport-building activities in your client interactions?
• What are your go-to statements or questions to engage in small talk?