Effective Communication page

Why communication matters

Communication is fundamental to our work at Bitovi. It’s not just about talking — it’s about understanding, building trust, and maintaining clarity with clients, teammates, and other stakeholders. It impacts every project, every interaction, and ultimately, the success of our business.

Communication happens when we:

• Align on goals with our client stakeholders.
• Set expectations with colleagues or stakeholders.
• Navigate heated discussions in meetings.
• Ask for something from others.
• Convince clients that our approach is the way to move forward.
• Learn about our client’s business.
• Keep stakeholders informed on our project’s status.
• Escalate blockers.
• Advocate for change in tools, processes, and people.
• Push back against unrealistic expectations.
• Speak up about issues on projects.
• Give and receive feedback.

Communication impacts every aspect of our work. It can make or break a project, shape relationships, and even determine the success of our business.

Trust and rapport

Communication builds trust over time. When it’s done poorly, it either fails to establish trust or erodes the trust that has already been built.

We have a whole section on Trust and Rapport because they form the foundation for everything else. Communication is a key component in that foundation.

When communication is strong:

• Projects run more smoothly.
• We build better relationships with clients.
• Clients are more satisfied with our work.
• Opportunities to grow our business increase.

When communication breaks down:

• Projects experience tension and misalignment.
• Opportunities are missed because we didn’t listen or understand priorities.
• Clients may feel unheard or undervalued.
• Relationships with clients or teammates can deteriorate, sometimes irreparably.

Overview

Nonverbal communication

• Avoid unintended negativity, sarcasm, or passive-aggressive remarks.
• Be mindful of cultural differences, tone, and body language.

Emotional Intelligence

• Be self-aware of emotional triggers and avoid reactive communication.
• Develop organizational awareness to identify who needs to be informed.
• Practice compassionate empathy by taking thoughtful actions to help others.

Communication planning

• State expectations explicitly and determine the purpose and audience of your communication.

Business Writing

• Write with clarity and specify clear actions and deadlines.
• Avoid assuming shared context — be concise but thorough.
• Eliminate emotionally charged language from written communication.

Effectively Using Tools to Enhance Communication

• Use Grammarly to catch errors, but review AI-generated content before sending.
• Use LLMs for brainstorming, creating visual aids, or gathering feedback.
• Be transparent about AI usage in your communication process.

Professional communication

• Use inclusive language, show compassion, and stay open-minded.
• Make observable progress and communicate updates before being asked.
• Ask clarifying questions and encourage collaboration to reduce ambiguity.

Active Listening

• Avoid interrupting and encourage others to share by paraphrasing or summarizing.
• Use techniques like mirroring and labeling to uncover unspoken concerns and reduce ambiguity.

Communication Styles: Understanding Ourselves

• Identify tendencies that may come across as unprofessional.
• Recognize when you’re too task-focused and need to communicate proactively.
• Understand how your style might be misinterpreted.

Communication Styles: Understanding Others

• Learn how others’ communication styles may seem unprofessional but are not intentional.
• Anticipate others’ needs and communicate in a way that works best for them.
• Be aware of differences in style to avoid misunderstandings.

Communication Styles: Adapting to Others

• Tailor your communication to be more effective for different styles.
• Recognize and meet the frequency or type of communication others need.
• Adjust your style to create clarity and professionalism for others.

Effectively Communicating Over Chat

• Use shared channels to communicate updates and follow up on threads.
• Keep status indicators (e.g., meetings, PTO) up-to-date.
• Re-read messages before sending and avoid ambiguous emoji reactions.

Effectively Attending and Running Meetings

• Always provide an agenda and share notes or actionable items afterward.
• Complete action items on time and clarify pre-requisites before meetings.
• Keep discussions on topic and avoid unnecessary tangents.

Effectively Communicating with Wikis

• Use formatting (subheadings, bullets) and templates for clarity.
• Make action items and decisions easy to find.
• Structure and organize pages to reduce confusion.

Choosing the Best Method of Communication

• Select the appropriate medium based on the sensitivity and context of the message.
• Move information requiring long-term reference into wikis.
• Use higher-bandwidth methods like meetings for complex discussions.

Giving and Receiving Feedback

• Deliver feedback empathetically and at the right time.
• Take notes during situations to provide specific, actionable feedback later.
• Check for understanding when giving or receiving feedback to ensure clarity.

Nonverbal communication

Nonverbal communication is just as important as the words you use. In many cases, it’s the unspoken signals that communicate your true intentions, emotions, and level of engagement. Understanding and being aware of nonverbal cues can help you convey the right message and ensure others feel heard and respected.

Nonverbal communication affects how your messages are received. Paying attention to tone, body language, and cultural nuances helps you avoid unintentional negativity and confusion. Mastering these cues creates better rapport with clients and teammates, reinforcing trust and mutual understanding in every interaction.

Physical cues

• Adopt open and engaged body language: Stand or sit in a relaxed, open posture. Avoid crossing your arms or slouching, as these can come across as defensive or disengaged. Lean in slightly when someone is speaking to show interest. Maintaining good posture also communicates confidence.
• Maintain appropriate eye contact: Aim to make consistent eye contact without staring. On video calls, look at the camera intermittently to simulate direct eye contact with participants. This creates a sense of connection even in remote settings.
• Align facial expressions with your message: Ensure your facial expressions support your words. For instance, nodding subtly shows agreement, while a thoughtful look demonstrates engagement during problem-solving discussions. Practice mirroring positive emotions without overdoing it. Rolling your eyes, furrowing your brow, or smirking can give off unintended negative impressions.
• Use intentional gestures: Small, purposeful hand movements can help emphasize points and make your communication more dynamic. Avoid excessive or fidgety gestures, which can be distracting or signal nervousness.
• Video calls: In virtual meetings, ensure your camera is positioned at eye level, smile, and nod to show you’re engaged. Avoid fidgeting or multitasking, as these behaviors indicate disinterest.
• Be mindful of cultural differences: Some gestures or facial expressions may be interpreted differently across cultures. When working with diverse teams, stay attentive to how your nonverbal cues might be perceived and adapt as needed.

Tone of voice

Your tone of voice often communicates as much — or more — than your words. A well-modulated tone can help you establish trust, express empathy, and convey authority. Misaligned tone, however, can undermine your message or cause confusion.

Tips and techniques:

• Match your tone to the message: Adjust your tone to suit the content and context of your communication. For example, use an enthusiastic tone when sharing exciting news or a calm, steady tone when discussing complex issues. This alignment reinforces your message and makes it more impactful.
• Avoid monotone speaking: A monotone delivery can make even the most engaging content seem boring. Vary your pitch and inflection to keep your audience’s attention and signal when something is especially important.
• Use an assertive yet friendly tone: Strive for a tone that is confident but not aggressive. Being assertive conveys authority and clarity, while a friendly tone fosters approachability and collaboration. This balance encourages open dialogue and mutual respect.
• Express empathy through vocal warmth: Incorporate warmth into your voice to show understanding and compassion, especially when addressing concerns or challenges. A softer tone can reassure clients and colleagues that you are supportive and invested in resolving issues.
• Avoid negative or defensive tones: Stay conscious of how stress or frustration can affect your tone. Speaking in a harsh or defensive manner can alienate others and escalate tensions. Take a moment to breathe and compose yourself if you feel negative emotions surfacing.
• Practice neutrality during emotional moments: If a client or colleague expresses frustration, respond with a neutral tone to de-escalate the situation and show professionalism. Avoid matching emotional intensity unless it’s constructive, like sharing excitement over a win.

Example

“The project is going live next week.”

Angry:

• Voice: Loud, forceful, with hard consonants.
• Pacing: Quick, with intensity.
• Facial Expression: Scowling, clenched jaw, narrowed eyes.

Bad:

• Voice: Low, flat, resigned.
• Pacing: Monotone, slow.
• Facial Expression: Neutral or subtly grimacing.

Disgusted:

• Voice: Low, nasal, and sharp with emphasis on the negative emotion.
• Pacing: Clipped, abrupt.
• Facial Expression: Scrunched nose, narrowed eyes, tightened lips.

Fearful:

• Voice: Quieter, with a tremble or shakiness.
• Pacing: Hesitant, with frequent pauses.
• Facial Expression: Wide eyes, tense expression, possibly biting lip.

Happy:

• Voice: Bright, enthusiastic, with a higher pitch than usual.
• Pacing: Slightly faster, with energy.
• Facial Expression: Big smile, open eyes.

Sad:

• Voice: Slow, soft, with a downward inflection.
• Pacing: Drawn-out, with pauses.
• Facial Expression: Frown, furrowed brows, downcast eyes.

Surprised:

• Voice: High-pitched, with a sharp rise in intonation.
• Pacing: Sudden shifts, sometimes speeding up mid-sentence.
• Facial Expression: Wide eyes, raised eyebrows, open mouth.

Fearful:

• Example: “The… project is going live… next week.” What if something goes wrong?

Happy:

• Example: “The project is going live next week!” Isn’t that great?

Angry:

• Example: “The project is going live next week!” Who thought that was a good idea?

Sad:

• Example: “The project is… going live next week…” I just hope it’s ready.

Surprised:

• Example: “The project is going live next week?” I didn’t see that coming!

Disgusted:

• Example: “The project is going live next week.” Ugh, can you believe this?

Bad:

• Example: “The project is going live next week.” I guess there’s no stopping it.

Delivery and pace

The way you deliver your message — how quickly or slowly you speak and how you emphasize key points — affects how well your audience understands you. At Bitovi, clear and deliberate delivery is crucial when explaining complex technical concepts or aligning with client teams.

Tips and techniques:

• Maintain a moderate speaking pace: Speak at a speed that allows listeners to follow along without feeling rushed or bored. If you tend to speak quickly when nervous, consciously slow down by pausing between sentences. This gives your audience time to absorb information and shows that you are thoughtful and composed.
• Vary your pitch to maintain interest: Use changes in pitch to emphasize important points and keep your speech engaging. A monotonous tone can cause listeners to lose focus, whereas pitch variation adds dynamism and helps highlight key messages.
• Use pauses strategically: Pause after introducing new or important ideas to let them sink in. This also gives you a moment to collect your thoughts and reduces filler words.
• Incorporate strategic pauses for emphasis: Pause briefly after delivering significant information or before introducing a new idea. This technique emphasizes your message and gives your audience a moment to reflect. Pauses also help you gather your thoughts, control your speaking pace, and avoid filler words.
• Emphasize key words or phrases: Highlight critical points by slightly raising your voice, elongating certain words, or adding a brief pause before them.
• Rehearse complex explanations: For detailed topics, practice delivering your points ahead of time. This helps ensure you can explain them clearly and concisely without rambling.
• Monitor your audience’s reactions: Pay attention to whether listeners appear confused or disengaged, and adjust your pace or delivery as needed. If they seem lost, slow down or ask for feedback.
• Record and review your speaking patterns: Record yourself during practice sessions or meetings to identify areas for improvement. Listening back allows you to assess your pitch and pace objectively and make adjustments as needed. Over time, this self-awareness enhances your overall communication skills.

Personal space and professional boundaries

Respecting personal space is essential for creating a comfortable working environment. This applies to both physical and virtual settings. At Bitovi, consultants often collaborate across cultural and professional boundaries, making it important to recognize and respect varying expectations about personal and conversational space.

Tips and techniques:

• Maintain appropriate physical distance: In in-person settings, stand or sit at a distance that feels neutral and non-intrusive, typically about 3-4 feet in most professional contexts. Pay attention to cues like leaning away, which may indicate discomfort.
• Be mindful of virtual space: In video calls, ensure your camera is well-framed, showing your face and upper torso. Avoid sitting too close to the camera, which can feel imposing.
• Observe and adapt to cultural norms: Different cultures have varying comfort levels with personal space. When working with international teams, observe how others interact and adjust accordingly.
• Respect conversational space: Allow others to finish their thoughts without interruption. Avoid dominating discussions, especially when working in cross-functional or client-facing teams.
• Acknowledge nonverbal boundary signals: Pay attention to subtle signals, such as a colleague stepping back or crossing their arms. These may indicate that they prefer more space or feel uncomfortable. Adjust your behavior to show consideration.

Cultural awareness in nonverbal communication

Nonverbal communication is deeply influenced by cultural norms, and what is considered positive in one culture may be misunderstood in another. As Bitovi consultants working with diverse clients and international teams, cultural awareness in nonverbal cues is essential. It helps prevent miscommunication, shows respect for different backgrounds, and strengthens our global professional relationships. By being mindful of cultural differences, we enhance our ability to collaborate effectively across cultures.

Tips and techniques:

• Educate yourself on cultural norms: Take time to learn about the cultural practices of your clients and colleagues. Familiarize yourself with common gestures, expressions, and etiquette in their culture. This knowledge helps you navigate interactions respectfully and avoid unintended offenses.
• Observe and adapt to others’ nonverbal cues: Pay attention to how others use body language and facial expressions. If you notice differences from your own norms, adjust your behavior accordingly. Adapting shows flexibility and a willingness to bridge cultural gaps.
• Use neutral and respectful gestures: Opt for universal gestures that are less likely to be misinterpreted. Simple actions like nodding to show agreement or keeping your hands visible and relaxed are generally safe. Avoid gestures that have specific or offensive meanings in different cultures.
• Be mindful of personal space and touch: Recognize that comfort levels with personal space and physical contact vary widely. In some cultures, close proximity is normal, while in others, more distance is preferred. Mirror the other person’s comfort level and avoid initiating physical contact unless appropriate.
• Encourage open dialogue about communication preferences: Foster an environment where team members feel comfortable discussing their cultural norms and preferences. Encourage questions and share your own practices to promote mutual understanding. Open dialogue helps build stronger, more inclusive teams.

Emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence helps you manage yourself and your relationships, making it easier to work well with others.

Its main aspects — self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness, empathy, and organizational awareness — help you handle challenges and connect with people.

With emotional intelligence, you can:

• Notice your emotional triggers and respond thoughtfully.
• Understand group dynamics and share information with the right people.
• Show empathy by offering support when it’s needed.

By being self-aware and empathetic, you can handle conflicts calmly, communicate clearly, and build trust, making teamwork more natural and effective.

Emotions

Let’s take a look at this “emotion wheel” which shows a broad range of emotions:

It’s important to understand that emotions themselves are not inherently good or bad — it’s how we respond to them that matters. Being a professional doesn’t mean being a robot; it’s okay to feel emotions like anger, sadness, or fear in the workplace. What’s critical is learning to channel those emotions constructively.

All emotions are valid, but not all behaviors are acceptable. For instance, you might feel angry during a meeting, but it’s not appropriate to express that anger through an outburst directed at coworkers or clients. Instead, acknowledge the emotion internally and choose a measured response.

Similarly, if a project doesn’t go well and you feel sad, or someone’s yelling in a meeting and it makes you feel scared, it’s okay to recognize those feelings. The goal isn’t to bottle everything up, but to wield those emotions in ways that align with professionalism and the situation.

Questions to reflect:

• What emotions do we want our clients to feel when working with us?
• What emotions should our clients never feel when working with us?

Self-awareness

Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand your own emotions and how they influence your interactions with others. It’s the foundation of emotional intelligence and essential for managing your responses effectively.

Your emotions can subtly affect the tone, wording, and body language you use in communication. If you’re not aware of these effects, they can lead to misunderstandings or unintended messages.

For example, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by a heavy workload, that stress might lead you to react more defensively in conversations, or cause you to rush through tasks. By recognizing this early on, you can take proactive steps — like taking a break, delegating tasks, or communicating your needs — to prevent negative outcomes.

Developing emotional self-awareness also improves decision-making. If you’re aware that a particular situation, like a tight deadline, triggers stress or anxiety, you can approach it more thoughtfully, preparing yourself mentally and emotionally to handle it better.

Examples of self-awareness in action:

• Backend: A backend developer notices they are feeling frustrated during a project meeting due to unclear requirements. Instead of lashing out, they recognize their frustration, and calmly ask for clarification, ensuring they remain professional and constructive.
• DevOps: A DevOps engineer catches themselves feeling irritated after a late-night incident. Instead of transferring that emotion into communication with the client or team, they take a moment to pause, ensuring the post-mortem discussion stays solution-oriented.
• Frontend: A frontend developer realizes they often feel anxious when giving progress updates to the client. Acknowledging this feeling helps them prepare better by rehearsing their presentation and ensuring they can answer possible questions confidently.
• Marketing: A marketer notices they often feel overwhelmed by feedback from multiple departments. Recognizing this emotional response helps them manage the feedback effectively, filtering out what’s most important without letting frustration show in their communication.
• Product Design: A designer feels defensive after receiving feedback on their prototype. Recognizing this reaction allows them to step back, process the critique, and engage in a productive dialogue focused on improving the design.
• Program Management / Product Ownership: A PM notices they tend to get stressed when timelines are at risk. Recognizing this helps them communicate the status calmly to stakeholders, avoiding panic and focusing on mitigation strategies.
• Sales: A salesperson becomes aware that they feel nervous when pitching to large clients. This self-awareness allows them to develop strategies to build confidence, such as practicing more or focusing on their strengths.

Strategies for developing self-awareness:

• Name your emotions immediately: When you feel a strong emotion, pause and identify it quickly, saying to yourself, “I’m feeling [emotion] because of [trigger].” This instant labeling can help you slow down your response and make it intentional.
• Self-check-ins: Set a reminder for midday or after meetings to ask yourself, “How did I feel during that?” This helps in real-time emotional tracking, rather than waiting until the end of the day.
• Reflect after meetings: After high-stakes meetings, take five minutes to reflect. Ask yourself: “How did my emotions show up, and how did they affect the conversation?” This reflection helps you identify what worked and what could be improved next time.
• Get feedback after stressful moments: Choose one trusted colleague and ask them how you came across after a meeting where you felt stressed or frustrated. Compare their feedback with your self-perception.
• Practice mindfulness: Spend a few minutes each day observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This will help you recognize emotional patterns as they occur in real-time.
• Track emotional triggers: Identify situations that trigger strong emotions and develop strategies to manage your reactions.
• Keep a journal: After key interactions, jot down what you were feeling and why. Include prompts like “What situation caused my emotion?” and “How did I react?” Reviewing your journal weekly can reveal patterns in how you respond emotionally.

Questions to reflect:

• What are my most common emotional triggers, and how do they impact my interactions with others?
• How can I better manage my emotions in high-pressure situations?
• In what ways does my emotional state influence the way I communicate with clients or colleagues?
• How do I typically react when I’m frustrated or stressed? How does this reaction affect my communication?
• How can I make sure that my communication is clear and professional, even when I’m experiencing strong emotions?

Self-regulation

Self-regulation is the ability to manage your emotions, impulses, and reactions, especially in challenging situations. It involves staying calm, being adaptable, and maintaining professionalism.

You may frequently face high-pressure situations, such as tight deadlines or conflicting client expectations. Self-regulation ensures you can remain composed, adapt to changing project requirements, and focus on problem-solving instead of reacting emotionally to setbacks.

When a project hits a roadblock, it can be tempting to react with frustration or panic, but emotional self-control allows you to stay calm and focus on solutions. For instance, if a client pushes back on a key deliverable, you might feel disappointed or stressed. Instead of expressing those emotions in the moment, pause and consider how best to address the issue constructively.

Developing emotional self-control takes practice. Everyone has emotional triggers — specific situations or comments that provoke strong emotional responses. To manage these triggers, start by reflecting on past interactions where you felt a strong emotional reaction. Identify common themes or situations that set off these feelings. Once you’ve identified your triggers, you can develop strategies to manage your responses, such as taking a pause before reacting or practicing deep breathing to stay calm.

Examples of self-regulation in action:

• Backend: A backend developer receives last-minute changes to the API specifications. Instead of reacting negatively, they manage their emotions, focusing on how to adapt to the new requirements and communicate timelines clearly.
• DevOps: A DevOps engineer is under pressure during a system outage. Despite the stress, they remain composed, leading the response team effectively, keeping communication with clients and stakeholders clear and steady.
• Frontend: A frontend developer encounters a challenging bug right before a demo. Though frustrated, they regulate their emotions, calmly inform the team of the issue, and suggest alternative solutions for the demo.
• Marketing: A marketer receives harsh criticism on a campaign. Rather than reacting defensively, they manage their emotions and engage the feedback constructively, identifying areas for improvement.
• Product Design: A designer receives feedback from multiple stakeholders, some of which contradict each other. Rather than reacting emotionally, they manage their response, engage in discussion to clarify priorities, and navigate the feedback diplomatically.
• Program Management / Product Ownership: A PM realizes a key milestone will be missed due to unforeseen issues. Instead of panicking, they regulate their emotions and communicate the problem to the team and stakeholders calmly, focusing on how to course-correct.
• Sales: A salesperson loses a major deal at the last minute. They manage their disappointment and avoid lashing out at the potential client, instead taking the opportunity to follow up politely and maintain a relationship for future opportunities.

Tips for practicing self-regulation:

• Prepare for difficult conversations: If you know you’re going into a high-stakes or potentially stressful discussion, prepare in advance. Think about possible triggers or challenges, and rehearse how you will respond in a calm, measured way. Having a plan can prevent you from being caught off-guard by strong emotions.

• Pause before responding: When faced with a challenging situation or strong emotions, give yourself a moment before replying. This allows you to process your feelings and craft a more thoughtful, calm response. Even a few seconds of silence can make a difference in keeping communication clear and professional.

• Reframe negative thoughts: If you feel frustration, disappointment, or anger creeping in, consciously try to reframe the situation more positively. Ask yourself: What can I learn from this situation? By shifting to a growth mindset, you can manage your emotions more effectively and engage with others constructively.

• Monitor your stress signals: Notice physical cues (e.g., tension, restlessness) that indicate stress and take steps to address them before they affect your communication.

• Develop a personal stress management strategy: Identify what helps you decompress, whether it’s taking a walk, deep breathing, or a quick mental break. Use these techniques during high-pressure situations.

• Practice deep breathing: In stressful moments, focusing on your breath can help calm the nervous system. Take slow, deep breaths to regain composure and prevent impulsive reactions. This simple technique can help you maintain control of your emotions during intense conversations.

• Create mental distance: When emotions are running high, try to mentally detach yourself from the situation for a moment. Imagine you are an observer watching the conversation unfold. This can help you gain a clearer perspective and make better decisions without being clouded by emotion.

• Take a break when needed: If you find yourself becoming overwhelmed, it’s okay to step away from the conversation. Politely excuse yourself, take a short break, and return when you feel more centered. It’s better to pause and return than to let emotions derail the discussion.

• Use “I” statements: When discussing disagreements, focus on your perspective rather than assigning blame. For example, say, “I felt unclear about the requirements,” instead of, “You didn’t explain the requirements.”

• Identify patterns in your emotional responses: Reflect on situations that commonly trigger strong emotions. Knowing these patterns helps you prepare for them in future interactions, making it easier to respond calmly.

• Set boundaries when emotions run high: If you recognize you’re not in the right emotional space to engage, it’s okay to set a boundary or request time to process your feelings before addressing an issue.

• Share emotions responsibly: When necessary, communicate your emotional state to others in a productive way. For example, “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now and would like to discuss this tomorrow.” This creates an understanding environment while avoiding emotional escalation.

Questions to reflect:

• When was the last time you felt your emotions take over during a conversation? How did that affect the outcome?

• In what types of situations do you find it most difficult to stay calm and professional? Why do you think that is?

• How do you currently handle your emotions when under stress? What techniques have worked for you in the past?

• Think about a recent situation where you successfully managed a potentially disruptive emotion. What did you do to stay composed, and how did that impact the conversation?

• Are there any specific communication scenarios (with clients, colleagues, or management) where you tend to react impulsively? How can you better prepare for those moments in the future?

• How do you typically react when someone else loses emotional control in a conversation? How can your response help de-escalate the situation?

• What role does self-regulation play in building trust and credibility with clients or team members? How might it impact your professional relationships?

• What are the most common emotions you experience in your work interactions, and how do they affect your communication?

• Can you recall a recent situation where your emotions influenced how you responded to a colleague or client? What would you do differently if you had been more aware of your emotional state at the time?

• Are there particular environments or situations that seem to trigger stronger emotions for you? How can you prepare for these in advance?

• How do you typically manage emotions when they arise during stressful situations? Is there a method you haven’t tried that might help you handle these feelings more effectively?

• How comfortable are you with communicating your emotional needs to others? What barriers might prevent you from doing so, and how could you overcome them?

Social awareness

Social awareness involves recognizing and understanding the emotions, needs, and concerns of others. It includes reading verbal and non-verbal cues, practicing empathy, and being culturally sensitive.

Social awareness is critical for effectively collaborating with clients and their teams. By picking up on subtle cues, like hesitation in a client’s tone, you can proactively address concerns. Empathy allows you to align your technical solutions with their business priorities, building stronger partnerships.

Tips and techniques:

• Practice active listening: Focus fully on what the other person is saying without planning your response. Summarize or rephrase their points to show you understand, e.g., “It sounds like you’re concerned about meeting the deadline.”
• Observe non-verbal cues: Pay attention to body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice to pick up on unspoken concerns or emotions. For instance, a client’s hesitation might signal uncertainty about a proposed solution.
• Ask open-ended questions: Encourage others to share their perspectives by asking questions like, “What challenges are you facing?” or “How do you see this solution fitting your needs?”
• Learn about cultural norms: If working with clients or teams from different cultures, research their communication preferences to avoid misunderstandings.

Empathy

Empathy is a key component of effective communication. By being empathetic and open-minded, you can build stronger relationships, improve collaboration, and foster better understanding. Below are practical ways to apply empathy in your day-to-day interactions.

First, remain open-minded. This involves staying curious and being willing to learn from every conversation.

• Avoid assumptions: Don’t expect others to know what you know. Ask questions to clarify their perspective.
• Stay curious: Approach each conversation with the mindset that there’s always something new to learn.
• Be flexible: When you receive feedback or new ideas, adapt your approach. Being open to change encourages better collaboration.

Recognizing and validating emotions also plays a big role in effective communication. Acknowledging how someone feels can help you navigate challenging situations with more ease.

• Acknowledge feelings: Recognize the emotions of the person you’re speaking with, and make it clear you understand them.
• Reflect emotions: Mirror the other person’s feelings to show understanding. For example, say, “I can see this situation is frustrating.”
• Pause before responding: Especially in difficult conversations, take a moment to process what the other person is feeling before you respond. This helps ensure your reply is thoughtful and considerate.

Building strong relationships requires genuine interest and follow-up. The more you invest in these connections, the better you’ll work together.

• Build rapport: Show that you remember personal details from past conversations. This helps strengthen your relationship.
• Show you care: Most people just go through the motions. If you care a lot, and you’re not ashamed to show it, people will notice. Other people who also care will be attracted to you and respect you, and doors will tend to open as a result. Care about making the project successful through any means necessary.

Handling difficult conversations requires empathy as well. Start by focusing on the other person’s concerns, and then work together on solutions.

• Lead with empathy: In tough discussions, acknowledge the impact the issue is having on the other person. For example, “I understand this delay affects your schedule.”
• Seek feedback: After challenging conversations, ask for feedback on how you handled the situation. Use it to refine your approach for the future.

By focusing on empathy and open-mindedness, you’ll be better equipped to communicate effectively and navigate the complexities of working with others.

Empathy is one of the most essential skills in communication, especially for consultants. It allows you to connect with clients, team members, and colleagues on a deeper level, fostering trust and understanding. In a consulting role, empathy helps you navigate complex interpersonal dynamics, understand client concerns, and address the emotional undercurrents that might affect project success.

There are three distinct types of empathy — cognitive, emotional, and compassionate — and each plays a role in effective communication.

Cognitive empathy

Cognitive empathy refers to understanding someone else’s perspective or thought process. It’s not about feeling what they feel but rather about recognizing how they think and why they might be thinking that way. As a consultant, cognitive empathy helps you put yourself in the client’s shoes, which is critical when discussing complex topics or solutions.

For example, if a client seems hesitant to adopt a new technology or process, using cognitive empathy can help you understand their hesitations. Perhaps they’re concerned about long-term maintenance or potential disruptions to their current systems. By acknowledging and addressing their perspective, you can tailor your communication to ease their concerns. Cognitive empathy is also useful in anticipating questions or objections during presentations or discussions, allowing you to proactively address potential misunderstandings.

Tips and techniques:

• Put yourself in their shoes: Before responding to objections or concerns, take a moment to consider how the person may be viewing the issue. Frame your response around their point of view.
• Ask clarifying questions: If you’re unsure of someone’s perspective, ask for clarification. For example, “Can you tell me more about why you feel that way?” This helps ensure you fully understand their thoughts.
• Anticipate reactions: Before presenting a new idea or solution, think through how the other person might react based on their previous concerns. Use this insight to address their potential objections early.

Questions to reflect:

• How well do I understand the perspectives of the people I work with or for?
• When was the last time I made an assumption about someone’s thoughts that turned out to be wrong? What did I learn from that experience?
• How could I better anticipate client or colleague concerns during important discussions?

Emotional empathy

Emotional empathy goes beyond understanding thoughts; it’s about feeling the emotions someone else is experiencing. This is especially important in high-stakes or emotionally charged situations, such as when a project is running into difficulties or a client is feeling the pressure of tight deadlines. Being able to sense and share those emotions shows that you genuinely care about the person’s experience.

For example, if a client expresses frustration over a delay, emotional empathy allows you to respond with genuine concern rather than just a technical explanation of the issue. You might say, “I can see how this delay is frustrating, and I understand that it’s causing additional stress.” Acknowledging the client’s emotional state can prevent tension from escalating and open the door to a more collaborative and constructive conversation.

Emotional empathy also applies within internal teams. If a colleague seems overwhelmed by their workload, recognizing their stress and offering support — whether through a simple check-in or offering to share the load — can help create a more supportive and effective working environment.

Tips and techniques:

• Mirror emotions: Without mimicking, reflect back some of the emotions you observe in others. For example, if a colleague seems upset, show concern in your response. This creates an emotional connection.
• Acknowledge emotions, not just issues: Don’t rush to fix the problem without first acknowledging how the other person feels. Simply saying, “I can see this is stressful” can defuse a tense situation.
• Use empathy in everyday interactions: Don’t wait for high-stress situations to practice emotional empathy. Regularly check in on how people feel about day-to-day activities, showing that you’re invested in their well-being.

Questions to reflect:

• How often do I notice and acknowledge emotions in my work conversations?
• Have I ever focused too much on solving a problem and ignored someone’s emotional state?
• What are small ways I could show more emotional empathy to my teammates on a daily basis?

Compassionate empathy

Compassionate empathy goes a step further by not only understanding and feeling someone’s emotions but also taking action to help. This is crucial in consulting, where part of your role is to offer solutions and support. Compassionate empathy shows that you’re not just passively listening but actively invested in resolving issues and improving the situation for the person involved.

For instance, if a client is struggling with understanding a complex technical concept, compassionate empathy would mean not just recognizing their confusion, but also taking the time to explain the concept in simpler terms or offering additional resources. This type of empathy builds stronger relationships by showing that you’re willing to go the extra mile to ensure the client’s success.

Compassionate empathy also plays a role in team dynamics. If you notice a team member is having a hard time balancing their responsibilities, instead of just offering words of encouragement, you could step in to redistribute tasks or help them prioritize. This creates a culture of mutual support and cooperation, where everyone feels that their well-being is valued.

Tips and techniques:

• Offer practical support: When someone is struggling, take concrete steps to help, whether that’s offering to explain something in simpler terms or helping with a task. Action shows you’re committed to helping.
• Balance empathy with accountability: Show compassion, but don’t shy away from difficult conversations. For example, you can acknowledge someone’s stress while still addressing the need for improvement or change.
• Check in after offering help: Follow up after providing support to ensure that the person is doing better. This shows that your empathy is ongoing, not just a one-time gesture.

Questions to reflect:

• Do I often take action after recognizing someone’s emotional state, or do I tend to stop at acknowledging their feelings?
• How can I better balance empathy with accountability in my client and team interactions?
• What steps can I take to follow up more effectively after helping someone?

Organizational awareness

Organizational awareness is understanding the structure, culture, and dynamics of the teams and organizations you work with. It includes recognizing formal and informal hierarchies, power relationships, and communication norms.

In consultancy, navigating both Bitovi’s and the client’s organizational dynamics is essential for effective collaboration. Understanding stakeholder roles, unspoken norms, and informal influencers ensures your input aligns with decision-making processes, fostering smoother project execution.

For instance, if a client has a hierarchical decision-making structure, you’ll need to communicate differently with key decision-makers than you would with mid-level team members. Being aware of these dynamics can help you navigate complex political situations and ensure that your suggestions are heard by the right people.

Tips and techniques:

• Build on self-awareness: Recognize how your actions align with the guiding norms of the organization. Use this foundation to sense the dynamics of the system and navigate it effectively.

• Map out the structure: Take the time to understand the organizational chart for both your client and your own company. This will help you identify key stakeholders and decision-makers.

  • Ask for an organizational chart or create one based on your interactions.
  • Note down key players and their roles in decision-making processes.

• Adapt your tone to your audience: Match your communication style to the person you’re speaking with. Senior executives may prefer concise and high-level information, while mid-level staff may need more details.

  • When speaking with senior leaders, focus on outcomes and big-picture insights.
  • For team members directly involved in the work, dive into specifics and technical details.

• Identify informal influencers: Every organization has people who hold influence beyond their formal roles. These individuals can help you advocate for your ideas.

  • Pay attention to who others turn to for advice or approval in meetings.
  • Build rapport with these informal leaders to gain their support for your initiatives.

• Ask key questions about dynamics: Regularly reflect on the following:

  • How do the parts of this organization fit together?
  • What are the spoken and unspoken norms?
  • Who holds informal power and influences decisions?
  • Where is there tension, and what is causing it?

• Ask about decision-making processes: Clarify how decisions are typically made at your client’s organization. This will allow you to tailor your communication based on where your input can have the most impact.

  • Directly ask your client about how decisions are made (e.g., consensus-driven or leadership-directed).
  • Adjust your communication based on where the decision point lies in the hierarchy.

• Stay neutral in internal conflicts: In any organization, conflicts or tensions can arise. As a consultant, maintain neutrality and avoid taking sides, even if you observe friction among team members.

  • Offer solutions that address the needs of all parties without showing bias.
  • Stay focused on the project’s goals to maintain a balanced position.

• Tailor your timing: In some organizations, certain times of day or days of the week are better for communication (e.g., avoiding Mondays for important discussions). Learn these preferences to optimize when you engage others.

  • Ask team members when the best times are for meetings or decision-making.
  • Schedule key discussions when the most important stakeholders are available.

• Collaborate with aware colleagues: Compare your observations with those of colleagues who excel in reading organizational dynamics. Use their insights to refine your understanding.

Questions to reflect:

• How do you typically approach understanding an organization’s structure when you start a new project?
• Can you think of a situation where the communication style at your client’s company was very different from what you are used to? How did you adapt?
• Who have you identified as the key decision-makers at your client’s organization? How do they prefer to receive information?
• Have you ever encountered informal leaders who had more influence than their title suggested? How did you leverage their influence for your work?
• How does your client’s decision-making process differ from what you are used to at Bitovi?
• Think about a time when you observed internal conflict within a client’s team. How did you maintain neutrality while still being effective in your role?
• Have you noticed specific times when communication seems to be more or less effective in your client’s organization? How can you adjust your approach to timing?

Relationship management

Relationship management involves building and maintaining strong professional relationships through trust, collaboration, and effective conflict resolution. It’s about ensuring ongoing positive interactions with individuals and teams.

Long-term success in software consultancy relies on strong relationships with both clients and internal teams. Building trust through clear communication and resolving conflicts effectively helps secure future engagements and promotes a collaborative working environment, even under challenging circumstances.

Tips and techniques:

• Follow up consistently: After meetings or major discussions, summarize key takeaways and next steps in an email to ensure alignment and build trust.
• Address conflicts directly but diplomatically: If disagreements arise, approach the conversation calmly. Focus on shared goals and use neutral language like, “Let’s find a solution that works for everyone.”
• Show appreciation: Regularly thank teammates and clients for their contributions, whether through a quick message, verbal acknowledgment, or a shout-out in meetings.
• Use empathy and rapport-building in persuasion: Before pitching an idea, research stakeholders’ roles, interests, and motivations. Build rapport and tailor your arguments to align with their goals, using stories or data to make your case compelling.

Influence

Influence is the ability to guide or persuade others without relying on authority. As a consultant, you won’t always have formal authority over the teams or clients you work with, so developing influence is key. Influence is built over time through trust, expertise, and clear communication.

For example, if a client is unsure about adopting your recommended solution, you might use influence by providing data-driven examples, sharing success stories from past projects, or outlining the benefits in a way that aligns with their goals. Influence requires both logical reasoning and emotional intelligence, as you must understand the concerns and motivations of your audience.

Tips and techniques:

• Frame your suggestions in the context of their goals: Before presenting your recommendation, identify what matters most to your client or team. Position your idea as a solution that directly aligns with their goals and priorities.
• Leverage your expertise without being overbearing: Share insights from your experience in a way that builds trust. Reference specific examples of past success, but avoid making it sound like your way is the only way forward.
• Ask questions to understand concerns: If resistance arises, ask open-ended questions to explore their hesitations. This helps you tailor your response to their needs rather than pushing your agenda.
• Show the bigger picture: Help others see the long-term benefits of your recommendation. Visual aids or comparisons to known successful cases can help connect short-term actions to long-term value.
• Be consistent and reliable: Influence grows over time, so always follow through on commitments, keep communication clear, and consistently deliver quality work. This builds the trust that enhances your influence.

Questions to reflect:

• How often do I take time to understand my client or team’s goals before proposing solutions?
• Have I been too focused on presenting solutions without fully exploring others’ concerns?
• When was the last time I successfully influenced a decision without relying on authority?
• Do I maintain a balance between sharing my expertise and allowing others to contribute ideas?

Conflict management

Conflict management is the ability to resolve disagreements and misunderstandings in a constructive way. In consulting, conflicts might arise over differing opinions on project direction, technical approaches, or team roles. Effective conflict management means addressing issues directly while maintaining respect and focusing on solutions.

For example, if two team members have opposing views on a technical approach, a conflict manager might facilitate a conversation where both sides are heard and work together to find a compromise or third option that incorporates the best of both ideas.

Tips and techniques:

• Address conflicts early: Don’t wait for tensions to escalate. Address disagreements or misunderstandings as soon as they arise to prevent larger issues later.
• Stay neutral and focused on solutions: When mediating a conflict, avoid taking sides. Keep the focus on finding a solution that benefits the team or project, not on who’s right or wrong.
• Listen actively to all parties: Ensure everyone involved feels heard by summarizing their perspectives and validating their concerns before suggesting solutions.
• Use “I” statements to reduce defensiveness: When offering feedback or sharing your perspective in a conflict, use “I” statements (e.g., “I feel…” or “I’ve noticed…”) to avoid sounding accusatory.
• Look for underlying causes: Conflicts are often symptoms of deeper issues. Try to uncover the root of the disagreement — whether it’s miscommunication, unclear expectations, or a deeper concern about the project.

Questions to reflect:

• When was the last time I addressed a conflict before it escalated?
• Do I tend to focus on the person or the problem during conflicts?
• How well do I listen to all sides during disagreements?
• Have I considered that the real issue in a conflict might be different from what’s on the surface?

Teamwork

Teamwork means working collaboratively with others to achieve shared goals. It requires communication, mutual respect, and the willingness to share both successes and challenges. As a consultant, you’ll often be part of a cross-functional team, working with people from different disciplines and backgrounds.

A great team player not only contributes their own expertise but also actively listens to and supports others. For example, if you’re working on a product design sprint, being open to feedback from developers, testers, and product owners will lead to a more well-rounded solution.

Tips and techniques:

• Clarify roles and expectations upfront: Make sure everyone knows their responsibilities and how their work fits into the bigger picture. This reduces confusion and potential friction down the line.
• Facilitate open communication: Create an environment where team members feel comfortable sharing ideas, asking for help, or raising concerns without fear of judgment.
• Offer help proactively: Don’t wait for team members to struggle — offer assistance when you see someone might need it, even if they don’t ask.
• Foster a culture of shared credit: When the team achieves success, recognize the contributions of all members, not just the most visible ones.
• Set clear goals and regularly check progress: Ensure the team is aligned on short- and long-term objectives. Regular check-ins keep everyone on track and address issues before they become roadblocks.

Questions to reflect:

• How clearly do I communicate my expectations when starting a team project?
• Have I created a space where team members feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and ideas?
• Do I recognize and acknowledge the contributions of all team members, or do I focus on a few key people?
• How often do I check in with the team to ensure we are on the same page?

Coach and mentor

Coaching and mentoring involve helping others grow by offering guidance, sharing knowledge, and providing constructive feedback. Consultants are often in a position to coach both clients and colleagues, whether it’s explaining a technical process, helping someone improve a skill, or offering support during a challenging project.

A strong coach or mentor listens actively, provides actionable feedback, and helps others develop their strengths. For example, if a junior team member is struggling with a task, a mentor might not only offer advice but also work alongside them to build their confidence and abilities.

Tips and techniques:

• Tailor your feedback to individual needs: Not everyone responds to feedback the same way. Adjust your approach based on the individual’s experience level and communication style, offering feedback in a way that resonates with them.
• Encourage self-discovery through questions: Instead of always providing the answer, ask guiding questions that help others come to conclusions on their own. This builds their problem-solving skills.
• Celebrate small wins: Recognize progress, no matter how small, to build confidence. Positive reinforcement encourages continued learning and development.
• Lead by example in continuous learning: Share your own learning experiences — whether successes or failures. This normalizes the process of growth and shows that everyone, regardless of their role, can improve.
• Create a safe space for mistakes: Let your team know that making mistakes is part of the learning process. This fosters a supportive environment where they feel safe taking risks.

Questions to reflect:

• How often do I adjust my mentoring or coaching style to suit the individual I’m working with?
• Do I encourage team members to solve problems on their own, or do I tend to give them the answers?
• When did I last recognize and celebrate the growth of someone I’m mentoring?
• How comfortable is my team or client in coming to me with questions or mistakes?

Inspirational leadership

Inspirational leadership means leading by example and motivating others to strive for excellence. This doesn’t require a formal leadership title. Inspirational leaders show up with a positive attitude, clear vision, and strong work ethic that encourages others to do the same.

In a consulting environment, you can inspire others by consistently delivering quality work, helping others succeed, and maintaining a calm, solution-oriented mindset in difficult situations. For example, if a project hits a snag, an inspirational leader doesn’t just manage the crisis — they encourage the team to see it as a challenge to overcome together, fostering resilience and commitment.

Tips and techniques:

• Model the behavior you expect: Be the example of how you want others to act. Show professionalism, curiosity, and persistence, especially when things get tough.
• Communicate a clear vision: Inspire others by helping them understand the bigger goal. Show how each person’s role contributes to that vision, and why it matters.
• Encourage autonomy: Trust your team to make decisions within their areas of expertise. This builds their confidence and shows that you respect their judgment.
• Maintain positivity during challenges: When things go wrong, stay calm and solution-focused. Your reaction sets the tone for how the rest of the team responds to difficulties.
• Recognize individual contributions: Publicly acknowledge both individual and team efforts. This reinforces a culture of appreciation and motivates people to continue striving for excellence.

Questions to reflect:

• Am I consistently demonstrating the behaviors I want to see in others?
• How clear and motivating is my vision for the team or project?
• Do I give my team enough space to make decisions, or do I tend to micromanage?
• How do I typically respond when things don’t go as planned, and how might that impact others?

Emotional intelligence resources

• Brené Brown’s Atlas of the Heart List of Emotions
• Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life
• Microsoft’s Exercise your emotional intelligence

Game: Identify the emotion

Refer to the emotion wheel above.

Identify the specific emotion in each phrase that’s read aloud.

Happy

• Excitement: “This is exactly what we’ve been waiting for! I can’t wait to see it in action.”
• Gratitude: “I really appreciate the effort you’ve put into this. It’s made a big difference.”
• Optimism: “I know this is challenging, but I’m confident we’re going to figure it out together.”
• Excitement with urgency: “This is amazing! Let’s figure out how quickly we can move forward.”
• Relief: “I’m so glad we caught that issue before it became a bigger problem.”

Surprised

• Curiosity: “That’s an interesting approach — how exactly would it work in practice?”
• Surprise: “Oh, I didn’t realize this was already finished. That’s great!”
• Confusion: “I’m not sure I understand how this fits into the bigger picture. Can you explain it again?”
• Shock: “Wait, we’re changing the entire direction of the project?”

Bad

• Disappointment: “I thought we’d be further along by now, but it seems like we’ve hit another setback.”
• Disapproval: “This isn’t what I had in mind at all when we discussed the requirements.”
• Annoyance: “I didn’t realize I’d have to follow up so many times just to get an update.”
• Criticism: “This doesn’t align with the standards we usually follow.”
• Skepticism: “Are we really confident this solution will work as planned?”

Fearful

• Worry: “If this doesn’t get resolved soon, I’m concerned it could impact the entire project.”
• Apprehension: “Are we sure this is the right direction? I’m worried it might create new problems.”
• Impatience: “How much longer is this going to take? We’re running out of time.”
• Nervousness: “This feels like a big risk — what happens if it doesn’t work?”

Angry

• Frustration: “We’ve been over this twice already, and I’m still not seeing the results I was expecting.”
• Defensiveness: “Well, that’s not entirely fair — I’ve been following the process we agreed on.”
• Irritation: “Why wasn’t I looped in on this earlier? It’s going to cause delays now.”
• Blame: “This delay wouldn’t have happened if we’d followed the original plan.”

Disgusted

• Disdain: “This approach feels like a step backward, not forward.”
• Criticism: “I really don’t like how this was handled — it could have been done much better.”
• Sarcasm: “Oh, wonderful, another last-minute change to the requirements.”
• Dismissiveness: “I’m not sure why this is even being considered as a solution.”

Sad

• Regret: “I wish we had caught this issue earlier — it’s going to cost us a lot of time.”
• Sadness: “It’s disappointing to see all that effort go to waste.”
• Resignation: “I guess this is just the way it’s going to be, even if it’s not ideal.”
• Hopelessness: “I’m not sure we’re going to be able to recover from this setback.”

These scenarios provide a mix of common workplace emotions, allowing participants to practice identifying the tone and emotional context of communication.

Communication planning

Effective communication starts with good planning. Before you share any information, it’s essential to think through the key elements that will guide your approach. These elements are purpose, audience, content, and call to action. Together, these form the foundation of thoughtful and effective communication, ensuring that your message is clear, relevant, and actionable.

Planning your communication ensures that your messages are clear, purposeful, and actionable. By identifying your audience, focusing your content, and including clear calls to action, you minimize confusion and wasted effort. This approach helps your clients and teammates quickly grasp what’s needed and keeps projects on track without unnecessary back-and-forth.

Purpose

The first step in any communication is to clarify your purpose. This means identifying the primary goal you want to accomplish. Are you sharing information, giving feedback, managing expectations, or something else? Without a clear purpose, communication can become scattered or unclear.

Example: You’re planning to take PTO. Your primary purposes might be:

• Informing your team and stakeholders about your absence.
• Ensuring there’s coverage for your responsibilities.
• Demonstrating that you’ve planned for a smooth handoff of your tasks.

Having a clear purpose keeps your communication focused and ensures you address the most important aspects of the situation.

Common communication purposes include:

• Sharing information: Providing updates, reports, or documentation.
  • Example: “Here’s the status of our sprint progress.”
• Giving feedback: Offering constructive input to improve work or processes.
  • Example: “I noticed a few areas where this design could align better with user needs.”
• Managing expectations: Setting clear boundaries or deliverables.
  • Example: “This task will take two more days because of the additional requirements.”
• Educating or training: Explaining concepts, tools, or workflows.
  • Example: “Let me walk you through how this API works.”
• Collaborating or resolving conflict: Working toward consensus or troubleshooting disagreements.
  • Example: “Can we align on the next steps for this feature?”
• Motivating or celebrating success: Recognizing achievements to build morale.
  • Example: “Let’s celebrate hitting our project milestone!”

Knowing your purpose helps focus your message and sets the tone for the conversation.

Tips and techniques:

• Define your goal: Before initiating communication, ask yourself what you want to achieve — whether it’s sharing knowledge, resolving a problem, or aligning on next steps. Example: “I want to let my stakeholders know how my project is going.”

• Then ask yourself, “why?” Start by identifying what you need to accomplish. Are you aiming to inform, persuade, clarify, or resolve? Writing this down in one sentence can help you focus. Example: “I want my stakeholders to feel taken care of and think highly of me.”

• Be specific with verbs to define your purpose: Frame your purpose as an action to clarify intent. Words like “inform,” “clarify,” “propose,” or “align” can help sharpen your focus. Example: Instead of “I need to talk about this project,” think, “I need to clarify blockers so we can align on next steps.”

First, figure out what you want to achieve. What’s the primary goal of the communication you’re sending, questions you’re asking, etc.?

Direct communication focuses on delivering clear and concise information from one party to another without requiring an immediate response. This approach is essential for providing instructions, updates, and setting clear guidelines to ensure everyone is aligned and informed.

• Share information: Providing updates or instructions to keep everyone informed.
• Report or document: Recording information systematically for transparency and future reference.
• Provide feedback: Offering constructive insights to help improve performance or recognize achievements.
• Manage expectations: Communicating goals, timelines, and responsibilities to prevent misunderstandings.
• Educate or train: Sharing knowledge or teaching new skills to enhance team capabilities.
• Persuade or influence: Convincing others to adopt a viewpoint, make a decision, or take action.
• Negotiate agreements: Reaching compromises or settlements that benefit everyone involved.
• Establish credibility: Demonstrating expertise and reliability to build trust with clients and colleagues.
• Motivate and inspire: Encouraging and energizing others to boost morale and productivity.
• Celebrate successes: Acknowledging and sharing achievements to foster a positive work environment.

Interactive communication emphasizes dialogue and mutual exchange between parties, fostering collaboration, understanding, and relationship-building. This method is crucial for addressing concerns, resolving conflicts, and enhancing team dynamics through active participation.

• Ask questions: Clarifying details, gathering information, and encouraging discussion to improve understanding.
• Gather feedback: Soliciting input to improve processes, products, or relationships.
• Build relationships: Using small talk, expressing appreciation, or offering support to build rapport.
• Resolve conflicts: Addressing and mediating disagreements to find mutually acceptable solutions.
• Provide support or counsel: Offering assistance or guidance during challenging situations.
• Facilitate collaboration: Leading discussions, working together to find solutions, making decisions, resolving conflicts, and promoting teamwork for productive outcomes.
• Provide support or counsel: Offering assistance or guidance during challenging situations.
• Persuade or influence: Convincing others to adopt a viewpoint, make a decision, or take action.
• Negotiate agreements: Reaching compromises or settlements that benefit everyone involved.

TODO: When you introduce yourself, highlight your skills and experience that are relevant to a client project.

Audience

Once your purpose is clear, think about your audience. Who needs to hear this message? Different people may require different approaches, levels of detail, or styles of communication. Tailoring your message ensures it lands effectively.

Questions to consider about your audience:

• Who needs this information?
• What is their level of knowledge on the topic?
• What concerns or questions might they have?
• Are they decision-makers, collaborators, or simply recipients of the information?

Adjust your communication based on your audience:

• For technical peers: Dive into relevant details but avoid overloading unnecessary context.
  • Example: “The deployment failed due to X, so I’ll implement Y to fix it.”
• For clients or stakeholders: Focus on outcomes and next steps.
  • Example: “We encountered a delay, but we’ve resolved the issue and are back on track.”
• For non-technical team members: Use clear, jargon-free explanations.
  • Example: “This tool will streamline how we process client requests.”

By anticipating your audience’s needs and questions, you can create more effective and engaging communication.

For example, when sharing your plan for PTO, different audiences may need different levels of detail or focus:

• Managers/Stakeholders:
  • They likely care about whether your work is covered and how your absence will impact the project timeline.
  • Example message: “Hi [Manager], I’ll be out of the office from [dates]. I’ve ensured all tasks are completed or handed off to [colleague]. Please review the plan below and let me know if anything is missing by [date].”
• Team Members:
  • They might only need a heads-up about your absence and who to contact for help.
  • Example message: “Hi Team, I’ll be on PTO from [dates]. If you need assistance with anything I normally handle, please reach out to [colleague].”

Adaptability

Adaptability in communication fosters an inclusive and productive team environment by ensuring everyone feels heard and understood. Recognizing and adjusting to different communication styles is key to effective collaboration.

• Understand your team members: Learn about your team members’ communication preferences. Adapting to these preferences enhances overall team communication and efficiency.
• Tailor your message: Tailor your communication based on who you’re communicating with. For technical teams, provide detailed information and use relevant terminology. For stakeholders or clients less familiar with technical jargon, simplify your language and focus on broader impacts to ensure clarity.
• Bridge communication gaps: Act as a translator when working with team members from different technical backgrounds or communication styles. Explain technical concerns in easily understandable terms to non-technical stakeholders, ensuring everyone is on the same page.
• Encourage continuous feedback: Regularly seek feedback on your communication effectiveness and be willing to adjust your style as needed. After meetings, ask if the information was clear or if a different approach would be preferred, fostering ongoing improvement in your communication strategies.

Tips and techniques:

• Develop a team communication guide: Create a simple guide outlining preferred communication styles and tools for your team to ensure everyone’s needs are considered.
• Observe and adapt: Pay attention to how colleagues and clients communicate. If someone prefers detailed emails over verbal updates, adjust your communication to match their preference.
• Use multiple channels: Share important information through various methods (e.g., email, chat, meetings) to accommodate different preferences and ensure the message is received.

Content

The content of your communication is what you’re actually saying. It includes the main point you want to get across and any supporting details. Organizing your content well ensures that your message is both clear and actionable.

Crafting strong content involves:

1. Identifying the main point: What’s the single most important idea or question you need to convey?
   • Example: “I need help understanding how this module integrates with the rest of the application.”
2. Providing supporting details: Share only the context or information necessary to make your point clear.
   • Example: “This module handles user authentication, but I’m unsure how it connects to the permissions service.”

Keep your content structured and concise:

• Start with the main idea: Lead with your key message or question.
• Add supporting details: Include only relevant background or data.
• Avoid unnecessary complexity: Stay focused to prevent confusion.

Clear content ensures that your message is understood the first time.

Example: Planning PTO Communication

• For a manager or stakeholder:
  • Share key details: your PTO dates, completed work, task coverage plan.
  • Highlight readiness: “I’ve ensured that [specific project/task] will not be disrupted.”
• For team members:
  • Focus on practical details: “I’ll be out from [dates]. [Colleague] will be handling [specific tasks].”

Tips and techniques:

• Break it into primary and secondary goals: Determine the main goal and any secondary objectives. This ensures your communication stays focused but doesn’t miss opportunities to address related topics. Example: Primary goal: Communicate project blockers. Secondary goal: Align on a resolution plan.

• Revisit your purpose as you prepare: As you organize your message, double-check if every part serves your purpose. If it doesn’t, consider whether it’s necessary or if it should be saved for a separate conversation.

Call to action

A call to action (CTA) tells your audience what you want them to do after receiving your message. While not every communication needs a formal CTA, most benefit from clarifying the desired outcome or next steps.

Example: For a project status update, resolving any blockers should be the main CTA, otherwise you may want your audience to acknowledge their receipt of your message and to ask any questions.

Examples of effective CTAs:

• When asking a question: “Could you clarify how this workflow should function?”
• When giving feedback: “Does this suggestion align with your vision for the project?”
• When reporting: “Let me know if there are any questions about this report.”
• When celebrating success: “Please join me in congratulating the team for their hard work!”
• When resolving conflict: “Can we agree to these steps to move forward?”

A strong CTA helps ensure that your communication leads to action or resolution.

• Consider the impact of your communication: Think about what will change as a result of your message. Will someone take action, feel reassured, or make a decision? If the purpose isn’t clear to you, it won’t be clear to your audience.

Example scenarios

Below are some example scenarios that show how to apply Purpose, Audience, Content, and Call to Action.

Explaining a delay in deliverables

• Purpose: Communicate the delay, provide context, and maintain trust by being transparent.
• Audience: People relying on the deliverable, such as clients, teammates, or managers.
• Content (main point): The deliverable is delayed, but steps are being taken to minimize the impact and avoid future delays.
• Content (supporting details):
  • Briefly state the delay and its scope (e.g., “The feature originally due on Friday will now be completed by Wednesday”).
  • Explain why the delay occurred, avoiding unnecessary technical jargon.
  • Highlight steps being taken to resolve the issue and prevent similar delays in the future.
• Call to action: Ask for input on adjusting timelines or priorities. For example:
  • “Let me know if this impacts any critical dependencies, and we can discuss adjustments.”

I’m about to go on vacation

• Purpose: Notify others about your upcoming absence, provide details about coverage, and prevent disruptions.
• Audience: Your team, manager, or stakeholders who may be affected by your absence.
• Content (main point): Share your vacation schedule and how responsibilities will be handled in your absence.
• Content (supporting details):
  • State the dates you’ll be unavailable.
  • Highlight any tasks or responsibilities that may be affected during your absence.
  • Share details about any preparations you’ve made, such as completed tasks or handoff notes.
  • Provide contact information for the person covering your responsibilities (if applicable).
• Call to action: Ask if there are concerns or last-minute needs before you leave:
  • “Is there anything you’d like me to complete or document before I go?”
  • “Let me know if you need additional context about [handoff details].”
  • “Does my coverage plan work for everyone?”

Addressing an ambiguous situation

• Purpose: Seek clarity on goals or expectations to proceed confidently and align with others.
• Audience: The person or group with the authority or knowledge to clarify.
• Content (main point): Explain what is unclear and how it affects your work, and request clarification.
• Content (supporting details):
  • Summarize the situation and what you do know.
  • Clearly state what is unclear and how the ambiguity affects your work.
  • Suggest a way forward, if possible, or ask open-ended questions to prompt discussion.
• Call to action: Ask for the missing information or confirm the suggested approach:
  • “Can you clarify whether the priority is X or Y?”
  • “Does this direction align with your expectations?”

I’ve run into a blocker

• Purpose: Clearly communicate the issue, its impact, and what is needed to resolve it.
• Audience: The person or group who can help remove the blocker, such as a manager, teammate, or external party.
• Content (main point): Explain the blocker and its consequences, and outline what help is required.
• Content (supporting details):
  • Briefly explain what you’re working on and the nature of the blocker (e.g., missing information, access issues, dependency on someone else’s work).
  • State the impact of the blocker, such as delays to a timeline or inability to complete a deliverable.
  • Describe any steps you’ve already taken to try to resolve the issue.
• Call to action: Ask for specific assistance:
  • “Can you provide the missing access credentials?”
  • “Could you prioritize completing this task by [date] so I can proceed?”
  • “What do you recommend as a workaround?”

Exercise: Communication plan

Skim through the scenarios below and choose one that resonates with you.

For your chosen scenario, create a communication plan by answering the following questions:

• Audience: With whom do you need to communicate?
• Purpose: Why do you need to communicate with them? What do you want them to feel?
• Content (main point): What is the one key idea you want to communicate?
• Content (supporting details): What are the supporting details that contribute to your main point? [What should you leave out?]
• Call to action: What specific action or response do you need from your audience?

Outline your approach and think critically about how to tailor your message for each audience in the scenario you chose.

Backend

Frontend

Product Design

Business writing

The best business writing puts the onus on the writer instead of the reader. Think hard about your audience, what they know, what they need to know, their time constraints, etc, and make it as easy on them as physically possible. If you follow this principle, you’ll be a very effective communicator.

More often than not, people do the opposite. They write quickly, lazily, and from their perspective — leaving the reader to piece together the puzzle before they can understand the context and content of their message. Most people will give up and opt out rather than jump through these hoops, so make it easy on them.

Strong business writing leaves no room for misinterpretation. By staying neutral and professional in tone, providing clear instructions, and including deadlines, you make it easier for others to act on your messages. This skill improves coordination with clients and teammates, reducing errors and keeping everyone aligned.

Writing with purpose

Every message you write should have a clear purpose. Before you write, ask yourself: What do I want to achieve with this message? Is it to inform, request, confirm, or perhaps persuade? Defining the purpose upfront allows you to structure your message effectively and stay focused.

For example, if you’re writing an email to a client about a project delay, the purpose might be to inform them about the issue, explain the cause, and outline the next steps. A clearly defined purpose will help you stay on topic and avoid adding unnecessary details that can confuse the reader.

Tips and techniques:

• Define your objective: Before writing, identify the key goal of your message to maintain focus.
• Lead with the main point: Start your message by clearly stating its purpose or main request.
• Structure for clarity: For complex information, provide an executive summary, then detailed content, and conclude with next steps.
• Specify actions and deadlines: Clearly outline required actions from the recipient, including due dates. For example, “Please review the attached document and provide feedback by Friday.”
• Stay on topic: Avoid unrelated information that might cause confusion.

Questions to reflect:

• How do you determine the primary goal of your message before you start writing?
• In what ways can stating your purpose upfront improve the effectiveness of your communication?
• Can you recall a situation where a lack of clear purpose in a message led to confusion or misunderstandings?

Clarity

Clarity ensures your writing is easy to understand, reducing the risk of miscommunication. Clear communication helps avoid confusion and keeps projects on track. If a message is unclear, it can lead to wasted time clarifying or, worse, incorrect assumptions.

Example: Instead of writing, “Let’s consider the current architecture to assess whether it aligns with our goals,” you could write, “Let’s review the current architecture to see if it meets our goals.”

One useful tip for clarity is to keep your sentences simple and direct. Instead of writing, “Due to the unforeseen nature of recent circumstances, the project timeline will be adjusted accordingly,” you can say, “The project timeline has changed because of unexpected issues.” This removes ambiguity and helps the reader grasp your point faster.

Tips and techniques:

• Use simple language: Avoid technical jargon or overly complex words unless necessary. For example, instead of “leverage,” write “use.”

• Define acronyms and terms: If you do use jargon, be sure to define it. Write: “The API (Application Programming Interface) integration is complete,” the first time you use “API.”

• Use full words over abbreviations: Avoid using abbreviations like “xscriptions” for “transcriptions” to keep communication clear, especially for ESL colleagues.

• Use universal date formats: Stick to clear, universally understood date formats (e.g., YYYY-MM-DD) to avoid confusion. For example, 12/9 could mean September 12 or December 9, so use 2024-12-09 instead.

• Focus on one idea per sentence: Instead of: “The module is outdated, and the performance issues it causes impact users,” write: “The outdated module causes performance issues that impact users.”

• Simplify complex ideas: Break down complicated topics into manageable parts using bullet points or numbered lists.

• Read it aloud: If it sounds confusing to you, it will likely be unclear to the reader.

• Ask a colleague to review: A fresh perspective can highlight areas for improvement.

To ensure your language is accessible:

• Avoid jargon: Simplify technical language whenever possible. Instead of “We need to refactor the codebase to improve modularity,” say “We need to reorganize the code to make it easier to manage and update.” Jargon also makes it more difficult for less experienced people to understand, and they might be afraid to ask what the term means (because it could reflect poorly on them).
• Define technical terms: When technical terms are necessary, provide clear definitions to prevent confusion.
• Test your explanations: After explaining a concept, ask a colleague to rephrase what they understood to identify areas needing simplification.
• Keep exaggerated language in check: Avoid hyperboles and phrases that may confuse ESL or diverse audiences.

Questions to reflect:

• What strategies can you employ to simplify complex information without losing essential details?
• How might unclear language affect the recipient’s understanding and response to your message?
• Have you ever misinterpreted a message due to lack of clarity? What could the sender have done differently?

Conciseness

Conciseness means expressing ideas in as few words as necessary without losing meaning. In a fast-paced work environment, concise communication shows respect for your audience’s time and ensures messages are read and understood.

Be concise but not abrupt. Your readers are often busy, and they appreciate messages that get to the point quickly. Conciseness means using only the words that are necessary — no fluff, no filler. Every sentence should serve a purpose.

Everyone has a short attention span, so get to the point.

The number one mistake we see in business writing (usually emails), is attempting to be thorough and complete instead of concise.

Ironically, your message has its best chance of actually working if you can boil it down to its essence and avoid writing long essays that no one will end up reading.

For instance, instead of writing, “I am reaching out to see if you might be available for a meeting sometime next week to discuss the next steps regarding our ongoing project,” you could write, “Are you available next week to discuss our project’s next steps?” The revised version is shorter while still communicating all the necessary information.

Tips and techniques:

• Focus on essential information: Include only what the reader needs to understand and act.
• Use concise language and short sentences: Keep sentences to 15–20 words and eliminate filler words like “very,” “just,” or “in order to.”
• Avoid redundancy: Simplify phrases to remove unnecessary repetition without losing meaning.
• Edit for clarity and brevity: Review your writing critically to shorten it while retaining key points and ensuring it’s direct and clear.
• Use bullet points or lists: Instead of a dense paragraph, a more readable list.
• Combine related sentences: Instead of: “The site has been updated. It includes new security features,” write: “The site has been updated with new security features.”
• Set a word count limit: Challenge yourself to reduce an email to half its original length while retaining the message.

Questions to reflect:

• How can you balance being thorough with being concise in your communications?
• What are common habits that lead to wordiness, and how can you address them?
• Why is it important to consider the reader’s time when composing a message?

Clarity and conciseness

Clarity refers to the quality of being easily understood and free from confusion or ambiguity. In communication, clarity ensures that the intended message is conveyed precisely and effectively to the audience. Achieving clarity involves using straightforward language, well-organized ideas, and logical structure to eliminate misunderstandings. Clear communication allows the receiver to grasp the meaning without unnecessary effort or interpretation.

Conciseness is the practice of expressing ideas clearly and directly while using the fewest possible words. It involves eliminating redundant, repetitive, or unnecessary information without sacrificing the message’s completeness or meaning. Concise communication values brevity and efficiency, ensuring that the core message is delivered succinctly. This approach helps maintain the audience’s attention and makes the information easier to process and remember.

Clarity and conciseness are closely intertwined and mutually reinforcing elements of effective communication:

• Understanding: Conciseness aids clarity by removing superfluous words and focusing on the essential message. This streamlined approach makes the content easier to understand and reduces the likelihood of confusion.
• Focus: Both clarity and conciseness help keep the communication focused on the main points. By avoiding unnecessary details, the speaker or writer ensures that the audience remains engaged and comprehends the key ideas.
• Retention: Concise and clear messages are more memorable. When information is presented straightforwardly and without excess, it is more likely to be retained by the audience.
• Efficiency: Combining clarity with conciseness makes communication more efficient. It allows the conveyance of ideas quickly and effectively, which is especially valuable in contexts where time and attention are limited.

In summary, clarity ensures that the message is understandable, while conciseness ensures that it is delivered efficiently. Together, they create powerful and effective communication that is both easy to grasp and succinct.

Written tone

Tone conveys your attitude and intent. The wrong tone can lead to misinterpretation, while the right tone builds trust and rapport. As consultants, maintaining a professional and positive tone ensures effective collaboration with clients and colleagues.

Example: Instead of writing, “You didn’t follow the deployment instructions correctly,” you could write, “It looks like the deployment instructions were misunderstood; let’s review them together.”

Tips and techniques:

• Use positive phrasing: Write: “Here’s a better approach” instead of “This approach won’t work.”
• Be polite, not passive: Say: “This solution works best because…” instead of “I think this might work because…”
• Avoid emotional or ambiguous language: Use: “The timeline needs adjustment” instead of “This timeline is a disaster.”
• Check for unintended tone shifts: Ensure your tone is consistent, e.g., avoid an overly casual phrase like “Hey, just ping me!” in a formal document.

Common written tone pitfalls and how to avoid them

Even when we have the best intentions, sometimes our tone can come across in ways we didn’t expect. Being aware of common pitfalls can help you avoid them and keep your communication constructive and effective.

Common tone issues in communication often arise from how a message is phrased, potentially leading to misunderstandings, offense, or a negative emotional response.

Here are some common written tone issues:

Unintended negativity:

• Written communication, particularly in emails or chat, can easily seem curt or unfriendly if you’re not careful. For example, “You missed this part” might come across as accusatory. Instead, try, “I’m not sure if this requirement was unclear, but I think we’re not meeting it right now.” Or ask it as a question: “Right now we’re not meeting this requirement, is that intentional?”
• Fix it: Before sending a message, read it through from the recipient’s perspective. Ask yourself, “How would I feel reading this?”

Passive-aggressiveness:

• Phrasing like “As I already mentioned…” or “If you had read my previous email…” suggests frustration and can put the recipient on the defensive. Phrases like this can generally be removed. For example, instead of “If you had read my previous email, you would know that we removed that requirement from scope,” try, “We removed that requirement from scope.”
• Fix it: When frustrated, take a moment before replying. Focus on communicating clearly rather than expressing annoyance.

Defensiveness:

• Phrases like “I only did what you told me…” and “That’s not my fault” come across as shifting blame, which can escalate tension. Instead, try, “I tried my best to follow the requirements” or “I see where there was confusion, let’s figure out how to solve it.”
• Fix it: Acknowledge the problem without assigning blame. This can help de-escalate the situation and foster cooperation.

Sarcasm:

• A sarcastic comment like “Oh, great, another problem!” can easily hurt or confuse the recipient. Instead, try, “It looks like we have another challenge. Let’s address it.”
• Fix it: Avoid sarcasm, especially in written communication, as tone is often lost. Focus on positive or neutral language.

Condescension:

• Written communication may unintentionally come across as patronizing. For instance, “As anyone would understand…” can make the reader feel belittled. Instead, try, “Let me clarify this point to make sure we’re on the same page.”
• Fix it: Before sending a message, consider whether the phrasing might imply superiority. Aim for a collaborative tone that respects the reader’s perspective.

Dismissiveness:

• Saying “That’s not important” minimizes the other person’s concerns. Instead, try, “I understand your point, but here’s why I think we should focus elsewhere right now.”
• Fix it: Validate the other person’s feelings or ideas, even if you disagree. This helps maintain mutual respect.

Impatience:

• “Can you get to the point already?” conveys frustration and a lack of respect for the speaker’s time. Instead, try, “Could we summarize the key points for efficiency?”
• Fix it: Remember that others might need more time to articulate their thoughts. Practice patience, especially in collaborative settings.

Bluntness:

• Saying “You’re wrong” can feel combative. Instead, try, “I have a different perspective. Could we explore both viewpoints?”
• Fix it: Use gentle language that opens up dialogue rather than shutting it down.

Over-apologizing:

• “Sorry for being useless” undermines your confidence and makes others uncomfortable. Instead, try, “Thank you for your patience while I work on this.”
• Fix it: Reframe your message positively. Express gratitude rather than putting yourself down.

The key to avoiding tone issues is to consider the audience and the context, use clear and respectful language, and take into account how your words might be perceived by the recipient.

Tone in written communication channels

Tone can vary greatly depending on the channel you’re using. It’s crucial to adapt how you communicate to fit the format — whether it’s an email, a message in a Slack channel, or a verbal discussion in a meeting. Here’s how you can think about tone for different kinds of communication channels.

• Be clear, but add warmth: Written messages are often interpreted more harshly than intended. Start with a polite greeting, and when possible, add a friendly touch. For example, instead of writing, “Please review this document and respond,” you could say, “When you have a moment, I’d appreciate it if you could review this document and let me know your thoughts.”
• Avoid ambiguity: Written text doesn’t have tone of voice or facial cues, which means it can be easy for messages to be misunderstood. Be specific with your requests and avoid phrasing that could seem vague or cold. “I’d appreciate it if you could clarify” is better than “You didn’t explain this clearly.”
• Positive language matters: Instead of focusing on what can’t be done, frame things in terms of what is possible. For instance, instead of saying, “We cannot meet the deadline,” say, “To ensure quality, we’ll need until Wednesday to complete this.”

Adaptability

Adaptability means adjusting your tone and style to fit your audience. Different people prefer different types of communication. If you’re messaging a client, you may need a more formal tone. If you’re messaging a colleague, a casual but professional tone could be more appropriate. Adaptability is about understanding your audience’s expectations and adjusting your language accordingly.

For example, when communicating with a client who might not have technical expertise, avoid using too many technical terms. Instead, explain concepts in a way that connects to their concerns or business goals. Conversely, when talking to a fellow developer, you can use domain-specific language, as it helps to communicate more efficiently.

Tips and techniques:

• Know your audience: Consider the reader’s background, knowledge level, and needs before writing.
• Adapt your language and tone: Adjust your wording and style to make your message clear and easy to understand; use everyday terms when explaining complex topics to non-experts.
• Be culturally aware: Keep cultural norms and sensitivities in mind to ensure your message is received as intended.
• Customize based on context and feedback: Modify your approach based on the situation and any feedback you receive.

Questions to reflect:

• How does understanding your audience influence the way you craft your message?
• In what situations have you needed to adjust your communication style, and what was the outcome?
• What steps can you take to become more adaptable in your writing?

Assertiveness

Assertiveness is about being direct without being aggressive. It involves stating your needs or viewpoints clearly, ensuring that your message conveys confidence. An assertive tone helps to prevent misunderstandings, especially when decisions or responsibilities are involved.

Instead of writing, “I was hoping we could possibly look into fixing this issue at some point soon,” a more assertive version would be, “Please address this issue by the end of the day.” Assertiveness can also help when setting boundaries or communicating expectations. For instance, “I won’t be available for meetings this afternoon, but I can answer any questions tomorrow morning” is clear and respectful of your own time while setting a firm boundary.

Tips and techniques:

Here is a refined version that eliminates overlap and ensures clarity:

• Be direct and respectful: Clearly communicate your needs and opinions with courtesy and professionalism; be assertive while acknowledging others’ needs.
• Use confident and definitive language: Opt for assured terms like “will” instead of “might,” and avoid hedging phrases such as “I think” or “maybe” that weaken your message.
• State clear expectations and actions: Precisely specify what you need, include a clear call to action, and avoid vague terms when requesting specific actions.
• Set boundaries clearly: Outline your availability and limits to help manage expectations.
• Encourage feedback: Invite questions or input to show that you value the other person’s perspective while remaining firm on critical points.

Questions to reflect:

• Why is assertiveness important in professional communication, and how can it impact outcomes?
• Can you identify language that may weaken your message, and how can you strengthen it?
• How do you balance assertiveness with empathy to maintain positive working relationships?

Structure

Good structure makes your writing easier to navigate and understand. Structured writing helps readers quickly identify key points and take necessary actions, especially in detailed reports or technical documentation.

Example: Instead of a long email with unstructured text, use headings like:
Subject: "Next Steps for API Integration"

1. What’s completed: Initial API tests are done.
2. What’s next: We need feedback on the test results.
3. Deadline: Please provide feedback by Friday.

Don’t bury the lede. Journalists usually write their articles (at least in newspapers) in order of priority. They assumed people would read the first paragraph, or maybe the first two or three paragraphs, far more often than the entire article. Therefore, they put the most important summary in the first paragraph, then the second most important point in the second paragraph, etc. This is called “not burying the lede.”

The lede is the summary or the essence of your argument. If you “bury” it under mountains of text, it’s unlikely many people will be able to dig it out.

Tips and techniques:

• Start with a CTA, summary, or clear objective: Begin with: “This email outlines the next steps for the project” instead of diving into details.
• Use headings and subheadings: Divide content into sections like “Overview,” “Challenges,” and “Recommendations.”
• Keep paragraphs short: Aim for 3–5 sentences per paragraph to improve readability.
• Use the “inverted pyramid” method: Begin with critical information, like: “Deployment will occur on Friday at 10 AM,” then provide supporting details.
• End with a call to action or summary: Conclude with: “Please confirm your availability for a quick sync on this by Thursday.”

To structure your communication effectively:

• Start with a high-level overview: Provide a summary before diving into details, adding information based on audience feedback or questions.
• Apply the Pyramid Principle: Begin with the most important information, then add supporting details. For instance, start an email with the main point — “We need to push the deadline” — followed by reasons and implications.
• Use preview statements: Begin communication with an overview of what will be covered to help your audience anticipate and absorb information.
• Leverage whitespace: Format written communication with bullet points, headings, and spacing to make it easier to scan. Separate sections with headers like “Progress,” “Next Steps,” and “Risks” in project updates.
• Manage attention spans: Keep messages brief yet comprehensive. Prioritize key information upfront, and use concise language, such as “We’re 90% complete with development, targeting full deployment by next Friday.”
• Summarize and prompt action: End with a clear summary and call to action. After a meeting, outline decisions made and next steps, like “Please review the attached document by Friday, and let’s schedule a follow-up to discuss your feedback.”
• Draft and edit: Write your message, then review and cut unnecessary words or details. Aim to reduce word count while retaining the core message.

To make complex ideas more relatable:

• Use analogies: Compare unfamiliar concepts to familiar ones. For example, explain cloud computing as renting storage space instead of buying a physical hard drive.
• Break down information: Split complex ideas into smaller, manageable parts. Outline each step in a multi-step process to prevent information overload.
• Use visual aids: Use diagrams, charts, or flowcharts to represent processes visually, helping stakeholders see how elements interconnect.
• Chunk information: Present information in small, digestible segments with clear labels. In presentations, use bullet points or numbered lists to separate key points.
• Practice with laypersons: Explain technical concepts to someone outside your field to ensure your explanation is clear and effective.
• Use the “one idea per sentence” rule: Convey only one main idea per sentence to avoid overwhelming your audience.

Exercise: Draft a message

Look back at the communication plan you wrote for the “fundamental principles” exercise.

Write a message to one of the audiences you identified.

Exercise: Organizing

Consider the following thoughts. Find a way to organize this into relevant categories, and highlight the most important parts.

• Major homepage dev is complete and on time. Play with the demo here
• Minor bugs remain, listed here
• The QA team will start working on this page today
• We still don’t have a full QA server or timeline. If we don’t have it by end of week, we’ll be a week behind on our timeline. Who will own this?
• We can’t test the logged in views of the homepage without a QA server.
• Even though the homepage and locator will be done and ready to deploy before the production servers are available, we decided we’ll still deploy Club Locator first (maybe by only a few days) to minimize risk on a lower visibility page.
• This means we’ll be maintaining separate code branches for the locator release and the Locator+Homepage release. This is why we’ll have Homepage on one server - http://samsminor.herokuapp.com - and locator on another - http://samsminor.herokuapp.com

Professional communication

Professional communication combines clarity, inclusivity, and proactive effort. By setting clear expectations, staying open-minded, and showing empathy, you foster productive relationships with clients and teammates. Keeping others informed and collaborating effectively ensures that projects run smoothly and problems are addressed before they escalate.

Consistency

Consistency and reliability in communication build trust and keep everyone informed. In consulting roles, especially in remote settings, regular updates and clear expectations are crucial for effective collaboration.

Always be moving

Always ensure your progress is observable. Not a single day should go by without some sort of observable progress. Even if you’re working on a feature or bug that spans multiple days, avoid prolonged silence until it’s finished.

To maintain transparency:

• Update task statuses promptly: Change the status of tickets as you begin work, and open pull requests marked as “Work in Progress” (WIP).
• Push work regularly: Ensure you push your work at the end of each day to keep progress visible.
• Engage with team members: Reach out to clients or colleagues to review your work and confirm mutual understanding of tasks.

Tell before being asked

Remote work adds additional challenges to an already difficult job. As a consultant you want to optimize for value — since your client can’t observe your work, you have to communicate it.

Be proactive in your communication. Don’t wait for clients or stakeholders to ask for updates — anticipate their needs and inform them of developments, especially significant changes. For example, if you foresee a delay, inform the client early, explain the reasons, and outline the steps to mitigate the issue. This approach builds confidence in your ability to manage the project.

If your client has to ask you what that status of a ticket is, outside of a daily scrum meeting, you need to communicate more. Your client is your client, not your manager. You gain and keep confidence by lining up your progress with their expected progress.

Never feel like you are bothering your client by sending them a gif or short movie every day, showing your progress.

Tips and techniques:

• Celebrate and share your wins: When you update a tool or process that benefits the team, communicate the improvement. This builds goodwill and showcases progress.

State expectations explicitly

State expectations explicitly to avoid misunderstandings. When communicating, restate goals, actions, and tasks clearly, both verbally for immediate confirmation and in writing for documentation. If you’re unsure about your understanding, it’s better to clarify than to proceed incorrectly, which could lead to wasted time and frustration.

Often, projects or discussions conclude without clear roles or responsibilities. In such cases, take the initiative to add structure:

• Outline a suggested plan: Propose a plan and specify which parts you will handle.
• Request further direction if needed: If more discussion is necessary, don’t hesitate to ask.

Timeliness and follow-through are essential. Respond promptly to communications and honor your commitments. If you promise to deliver a document by a certain time, ensure it’s done. If delays are unavoidable, communicate them in advance and provide a new deadline. Consistent follow-through strengthens your credibility.

Provide regular, structured updates covering key aspects like progress, next steps, and potential risks. For instance, a weekly status email might include sections such as “Completed Tasks,” “Upcoming Milestones,” and “Challenges/Risks.” This helps manage expectations and keeps everyone informed about the project’s trajectory.

Tips and techniques:

• Set reminders for updates: Use calendar alerts or project management tools to ensure you don’t miss scheduled check-ins.
• Create communication templates: Develop templates for status updates or progress reports to maintain consistency and save time.
• Maintain a communication log: Keep track of key communications, discussions, and follow-up actions to monitor consistency and accountability.

Respect and professionalism

Effective communication requires understanding and respecting the diverse identities and experiences of colleagues and clients. By fostering respectful, clear, and inclusive interactions, especially on sensitive issues, we create a more collaborative and productive workplace.

Respecting individual identity is fundamental to promoting diversity and inclusion. Acknowledging and using the terms people prefer when referring to themselves is crucial.

• Use preferred pronouns: Always use people’s preferred pronouns in all communications. If you’re unsure, politely ask or listen to how they refer to themselves. For example, “Hi, my name is [Your Name], and I use he/him pronouns. How about you?”
• Use inclusive language: Choose words that respect and acknowledge the diversity of your audience. Avoid gendered terms like “guys” or “ladies”; instead, use neutral terms like “everyone,” “team,” or “folks.” Be mindful of cultural references or idioms that might not resonate with everyone.

Being conscious of the impact your words and actions have on others helps maintain a respectful and inclusive workplace.

• Avoid problematic colloquialisms: Steer clear of expressions with unintended negative connotations or cultural insensitivity, such as “long time no see.” Use clear and neutral phrases like “it’s been a while” or “general guideline.”
• Eliminate ableist language: Refrain from using words like “blind,” “crazy,” “crippling,” “crutch,” “lame,” or “deaf” metaphorically. Instead, choose specific, non-derogatory language. For example, say “I didn’t notice that issue” instead of “I’m blind to that issue.”
• Be mindful of cultural differences: Recognize that communication styles and meanings can vary across cultures. By being open to learning about and respecting different cultural norms, you can communicate more effectively in diverse teams.

Clear and inclusive communication ensures everyone can fully understand and engage in conversations.

• Enunciate when speaking: Speak clearly and at an appropriate pace to prevent misunderstandings, especially in virtual meetings or when communicating with non-native speakers.
• Communicate at an accessible level: Explain concepts in simple, straightforward language without oversimplifying the content. Aim for clarity and directness to make your message accessible to a broad audience.
• Be aware of tone and body language: Use your tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language consciously, as they often convey more than words. Ensure these non-verbal cues align with your message and promote inclusivity.

Tips and techniques:

• Introduce pronouns during introductions: Share your pronouns when meeting new people to normalize the practice and create an inclusive space.
• Respond to pronoun mistakes appropriately: If a wrong pronoun is used, correct it promptly and move on without drawing excessive attention.
• Practice alternative phrases: Replace common colloquialisms with neutral alternatives until they become second nature — for example, say “I’m extremely busy” instead of “I’m crazy busy.”
• Refer to inclusivity guides: Apple, Google, and Microsoft have good guidelines for how to avoid abelist language.

A colleague’s perspective on pronouns:

If you witness or inflict a misgendering through name or pronouns in a brief quickly corrected accidental moment, in 99.9% of cases, you should not bring it up again with the person misgendered at all. Any conversation about it re-opens the wound/irritation/uncomfortable situation, keeps their attention on it much much longer than it needs to be, and can really cause a lot more damage than something that will have otherwise been completely forgotten.

It makes sense to bring it up with managers if you think it needs to be noted and want to be supportive; they can quietly keep an eye out for any patterns. Please try to avoid dragging it out with the misgendered person though.

The impact of language

Choosing the right words can significantly influence how your message is perceived, fostering collaboration, clarity, and positive outcomes. Being mindful of language allows you to shape conversations constructively.

• Focus on positive solutions: When discussing setbacks, shift the conversation toward actions that can move things forward. For example, instead of saying, “This project is failing,” rephrase it as, “We’re encountering some challenges, but here’s how we can address them to get back on track.” This keeps the dialogue oriented toward solutions rather than dwelling on the problem.
• Use the “yes, and” technique: When faced with ideas or proposals, acknowledge them and look for opportunities to build on top of them. For example, if a client says “We should prioritize the mobile version of the feature first,” you can respond with “Yes, and we can build it in a way that allows us to easily adapt it to the desktop version down the line.” This encourages further discussion and collaboration.
• Be careful saying “no”: Saying “no” gives us a sense of control and comfort, and the opposite is true: saying “no” to a client takes away their power and can be a quick way to make the other person feel dismissed or shut down the conversation. This can quickly halt momentum, creating resistance or frustration, and making it harder to keep the conversation collaborative and forward-moving.

Tips and techniques:

• Rephrase negative statements: Regularly review your communication for negative phrases and practice rewording them positively. For instance, change, “We can’t meet this deadline” to, “Let’s explore how we can adjust our priorities to deliver quality work.”
• Be mindful of cultural nuances: Research or ask about preferred communication styles of individuals from different cultural backgrounds to avoid unintended offense or miscommunication.

Cultural sensitivity and inclusivity

Effective communication also means being aware of cultural differences and striving for inclusivity. Consultants often work with diverse clients and team members, so understanding these dynamics is key.

• Be aware of cultural norms: Different cultures may have different norms regarding eye contact, personal space, or how direct to be in conversations. Take the time to learn about these differences when working with a diverse team.
• Avoid assumptions: Don’t assume that everyone has the same perspective or experience. Instead, ask questions to understand their viewpoints. Phrasing like, “Can you share your thoughts on this?” encourages open dialogue.
• Adjust your communication: If you notice that a particular style — such as very direct communication — is causing discomfort, adapt accordingly. For example, some cultures value indirect communication, so it may be helpful to soften feedback in those contexts.
• Recognize and celebrate differences: Take time to acknowledge the different backgrounds and experiences within your team. Small gestures, like learning how to pronounce someone’s name correctly, show respect and inclusion. When in doubt, ask!
• Language considerations: Avoid jargon or idioms that might be confusing to those whose first language isn’t English. Use straightforward language to ensure everyone is on the same page.

Collaboration and teamwork

Good communication is at the heart of strong collaboration. Working together effectively means being able to share ideas, support each other, and handle disagreements constructively.

• Open sharing: Encourage a culture where people feel comfortable sharing their ideas, even if they aren’t fully formed. During brainstorming, remind everyone that all suggestions are valuable.
• Show appreciation: Regularly recognize the contributions of others. A simple, “I really appreciate your help with this” goes a long way toward building a positive team environment.
• Handling disagreements: It’s okay to disagree, but it’s crucial to do so respectfully. Use language like, “I see your point, but I have a different perspective,” rather than dismissing the other person’s idea outright.
• Collaborative language: Use language that reinforces togetherness, such as “we” instead of “I.” This helps foster a sense of shared responsibility.
• Clarify roles and expectations: Good collaboration often breaks down when roles are unclear. Make sure everyone understands their responsibilities, and clearly communicate your own role in a project to avoid confusion.

Social awareness in group dynamics

Understanding group dynamics means recognizing the different roles people play in a group and how these roles affect communication. Awareness of these dynamics helps ensure everyone has an opportunity to contribute.

• Identify informal roles: Every group has informal roles — such as the leader, the supporter, the questioner. Being aware of these roles can help you navigate and contribute effectively. For instance, if you’re a leader, ensure you’re including quieter members.
• Spot power dynamics: Sometimes, certain voices dominate while others are reluctant to speak. Be aware of these dynamics, especially in client settings, and make space for underrepresented voices. You could say, “I’d like to hear what others think about this idea.”
• Adapt to the group: If the group seems particularly quiet, you may need to be more proactive in encouraging participation. If the group is talkative, focus more on managing turn-taking to ensure everyone has a chance to speak.
• Encourage a positive atmosphere: Positivity can be contagious. Acknowledge good ideas, smile, and be supportive of others’ input to foster a productive and encouraging group environment.

Encouraging participation and inclusivity

In any team setting, it’s essential to create an environment where everyone feels valued and heard. Encouraging participation involves actively ensuring that all voices are included in the conversation.

• Ask open-ended questions: Questions that start with “how,” “what,” or “why” are more likely to generate discussion and invite input. For example, “What do you all think about this approach?” is better for prompting discussion than yes/no questions.
• Directly invite participation: If someone hasn’t spoken, consider inviting them to share their thoughts. You could say, “Alex, I’d love to hear your perspective on this.” This makes them feel included without putting too much pressure on them.
• Acknowledge all contributions: When someone speaks up, acknowledge their point before moving on. This shows respect for their input and encourages others to join in.
• Rotate responsibilities: Give different team members a chance to lead parts of a discussion or take on other visible roles. This helps ensure that everyone feels they have a stake in the outcome.
• Create a judgment-free zone: Make it clear that all ideas are welcome and that it’s okay to share imperfect thoughts. When people aren’t afraid of being judged, they are more likely to contribute.

Confidentiality and professionalism

Maintaining confidentiality and professionalism is crucial when dealing with sensitive client information or internal matters. It helps build trust and ensures ethical standards are upheld.

• Know what’s confidential: Understand the boundaries of what information can be shared, both within and outside the company. For example, client-specific data should never be discussed casually or shared without proper authorization.
• Respect client boundaries: Clients may share information that’s not explicitly labeled as confidential but should still be treated with discretion. When in doubt, ask, “Is it okay if I share this with my team?”
• Avoid gossip: Refrain from discussing personal or professional matters of others that do not involve you directly. Gossip undermines trust and creates an unprofessional atmosphere.
• Secure information: Whether you’re sharing documents or just talking about sensitive topics, always use secure methods of communication. For example, avoid discussing sensitive details in an open office or on unsecured platforms.
• Professional demeanor: Maintain a consistent level of professionalism, regardless of the situation. This includes being punctual, prepared, and courteous in all communications, whether internal or with clients.

Fostering team culture through informal communication

Casual conversations, whether it’s a quick chat over coffee or a message in a team channel, are more than just small talk — they’re opportunities to build rapport and trust with your colleagues. These informal interactions help break down barriers, making it easier to collaborate effectively. They also offer a glimpse into the personalities, values, and working styles of your teammates, which can improve understanding and cooperation on projects.

Techniques for initiating and sustaining informal communication in remote and in-person environments

In-person, initiating informal communication can be as simple as starting a conversation in the breakroom or inviting someone to grab lunch.

However, in remote settings, it requires a bit more intentionality. Use tools like Slack, Teams, or Zoom to create virtual “watercooler” spaces where team members can chat about non-work-related topics. Regularly scheduled casual check-ins, like a “coffee chat” or a “virtual happy hour,” can also help sustain these interactions. When initiating these conversations, ask open-ended questions that invite others to share more about themselves, like “How was your weekend?” or “What’s something interesting you’ve been working on?”

Tips and techniques:

• Mix work and personal topics: Start with a work-related question, then naturally transition to a personal topic, making the conversation feel more organic.
• Personalize your approach: Tailor your conversations to the individual. Pay attention to what topics each team member enjoys and engage them on those.

Questions to reflect:

• How often do you initiate casual conversations with your team members?
• What methods have you used to keep informal conversations going in a remote environment?

Creating a supportive and inclusive environment

Encouraging openness and psychological safety within the team

Psychological safety is the foundation of a supportive team environment. It means creating a space where everyone feels safe to express their ideas, ask questions, and admit mistakes without fear of negative consequences. Encourage openness by actively soliciting input from all team members and demonstrating that all contributions are valued. For example, you might say, “I’d love to hear your thoughts on this,” or “It’s okay if this isn’t perfect — let’s brainstorm together.”

Tips and techniques:

• Model vulnerability: Share your own challenges or mistakes to encourage others to do the same without fear.
• Invite input actively: Ask specific team members for their opinions to ensure everyone’s voice is heard, especially those who are quieter.
• Follow up on contributions: Acknowledge ideas or suggestions made previously in subsequent meetings to show they were valued and considered.

Questions to reflect:

• When was the last time you made an effort to create a psychologically safe space for your team?
• Have you noticed any team members who might feel excluded or hesitant to share? How can you help them feel more comfortable?
• What steps can you take to ensure that everyone’s input is genuinely considered in team discussions?

Recognizing and addressing social cues and barriers to communication

Effective communicators are not only good at expressing themselves but also at reading the room. Pay attention to social cues such as body language, tone of voice, and even silence, which can indicate how someone is feeling. For instance, crossed arms or a lack of eye contact might suggest discomfort or disengagement. If you notice these signs, gently address them by asking open-ended questions like, “Is everything okay?” or “Would you like to share your thoughts on this?” This approach helps to break down barriers and ensures that everyone feels included in the conversation.

Tips and techniques:

• Practice observation: Regularly take a moment to observe your team’s body language and tone of voice to identify unspoken feelings.
• Be proactive in addressing discomfort: If you sense tension or disengagement, address it openly and sensitively, such as by asking if the person is comfortable with the current topic.

Questions to reflect:

• How comfortable are you in recognizing non-verbal cues during conversations?
• Have you ever misinterpreted a social cue at work? What did you learn from that experience?

Maintaining professional boundaries in social communication

While it’s important to build personal connections with your colleagues, it’s equally important to maintain professional boundaries. Be mindful of the context and ensure that your conversations, even when personal, are appropriate for the workplace. For instance, sharing your weekend plans is generally acceptable, but discussing more private matters might not be. Understanding this line helps in maintaining a comfortable and respectful work environment for everyone.

Tips and techniques:

• Respect others’ comfort levels: If someone seems hesitant to share personal details, don’t press them — shift the conversation back to work topics.
• Keep it context-appropriate: Always consider the setting — what might be acceptable in a casual chat could be out of place in a more formal meeting.

Questions to reflect:

• How do you determine what personal information is appropriate to share in a work setting?

Respecting confidentiality and professionalism in social settings

In any work setting, especially in consulting roles where client trust is paramount, it’s crucial to respect confidentiality. This means being cautious about what you share in informal conversations, particularly about clients or sensitive company information. Even in a relaxed social setting, always err on the side of discretion. For example, if a colleague asks about a project you’re working on that involves sensitive information, you could say, “I can’t go into details, but we’re making great progress.”

Tips and techniques:

• Think before you speak: Before sharing information, consider whether it could be sensitive or confidential — if in doubt, don’t share it.
• Use discretion: In social settings, be especially mindful of who is present when discussing work-related matters, ensuring no sensitive information is shared.
• Clarify expectations: If someone shares confidential information with you, confirm whether it’s okay to discuss it with others or if it should remain private.

Questions to reflect:

• How do you handle sensitive information when it comes up in casual conversations?
• Have you ever unintentionally shared something confidential? How did you address the situation?

Handling sensitive topics and personal information with care

Sensitive topics, whether they relate to work or personal matters, should be handled with the utmost care. If someone shares personal information with you, respect their privacy and don’t disclose it to others unless given explicit permission. When discussing sensitive work-related issues, such as performance feedback or conflicts, choose your words carefully to avoid misunderstanding or offense. For example, instead of saying, “You didn’t do this correctly,” you might say, “Let’s look at this together and see how we can improve it.”

Tips and techniques:

• Seek permission before sharing: If someone tells you something personal, ask if it’s okay to discuss it with others before doing so.
• Be mindful of your words: When discussing sensitive topics, choose your language carefully to avoid causing offense or misunderstanding.
• Respect privacy: If you’re unsure whether a topic is too personal, err on the side of caution and steer the conversation to safer ground.

Questions to reflect:

• Can you recall a situation where personal information was handled well or poorly in a team setting? What were the outcomes?

Building strong social communication skills

Effective social communication is a cornerstone of successful teamwork, especially in a consulting environment where building relationships and trust is critical.

In this section, we’ll explore how to strengthen your social communication skills, making sure you can foster a positive and collaborative team culture, build trust, and maintain professionalism while encouraging open dialogue.

Assertiveness and confidence

There are different styles of communication:

• Passive communicators tend to go along with what others want, keeping their own opinions to themselves, even if they disagree. This often leads to passive-aggressive behavior. Over time, their inability to stand up for themselves can cause frustration and resentment.

• Aggressive communicators are controlling, demanding, and sometimes hostile. Unlike passive communicators, they express their opinions openly and forcefully, often in a loud and dominating way. They are often insensitive to the rights of others, and their disrespectful approach pushes people away. While expressing opinions is important, doing so in a hurtful, abusive manner makes communication ineffective.

• Passive-aggressive communicators express frustration indirectly, using sarcasm, procrastination, or subtle resistance. They avoid direct confrontation, leading to confusion and unresolved tension in relationships.

• Submissive communicators avoid conflict at all costs. They believe others’ needs and opinions are more important than their own, often feeling that others are more intelligent or valid. Psychologist Claire Newton highlights common behaviors of submissive communicators.

• Manipulative communicators focus on gaining a personal advantage. Their speech often has hidden motives, and they try to influence others for their own benefit.

• Assertive communicators express their thoughts honestly and respectfully, while also considering the opinions and feelings of others. Assertive communication is considered the most effective of the styles.

Assertive communication means expressing your ideas and needs clearly and respectfully, ensuring your voice is heard without dominating others. Understanding different communication styles — passive, aggressive, and assertive — helps you stand up for your ideas while respecting others’ viewpoints.

• Use “I” statements to own your perspective: Express your views assertively by saying, “I think we should consider another approach because…,” which helps you communicate without sounding accusatory.
• Articulate deadlines and deliverables to set expectations: Clearly state what needs to be done and by when, such as, “We need to complete the initial design by next Wednesday to stay on track. Can everyone commit to this deadline?”
• Communicate uncertainty confidently by acknowledging gaps: If you’re unsure about something, admit it while committing to find the answer. For example, “I’m not certain of the answer right now, but I’ll find out and get back to you by tomorrow afternoon.”

In high-pressure situations, maintaining confidence and control is crucial. A calm demeanor and steady tone can diffuse anxiety and keep conversations focused on solutions.

• Project confidence under pressure by outlining problems and solutions: If a project faces obstacles, calmly explain the issue, propose potential solutions, and reassure the client of the team’s ability to handle it.
• Maintain control with tone by using a calm and steady voice: During heated discussions, keeping a neutral tone can de-escalate emotions and steer the conversation back to productive ground.
• Deal with crises by breaking down problems and outlining action plans: In a crisis, provide a concise overview of the issue, assess risks, and communicate immediate steps to mitigate the impact and resolve the situation.
• Reassure stakeholders by acknowledging concerns and explaining steps: If a client is worried about meeting a tight deadline, explain the contingency plans in place and reinforce your commitment to delivering results.

Tips and techniques:

• Rehearse difficult conversations to build confidence: Practice challenging discussions with a colleague or mentor, focusing on maintaining an assertive tone and standing firm on key points.
• Visualize success to reduce anxiety: Before a high-stakes communication, visualize the conversation going well to boost your confidence.

Common verbal tone pitfalls and how to avoid them

Even when we have the best intentions, sometimes our tone can come across in ways we didn’t expect. Being aware of common pitfalls can help you avoid them and keep your communication constructive and effective.

Verbal tone of voice plays a crucial role in how a spoken message is received. It encompasses the pitch, volume, pace, and inflection of speech, all of which can significantly affect the perceived meaning beyond the actual words used.

Here are some common verbal tone issues:

Sarcasm:

• Saying “Sure, that was a great idea,” with exaggerated inflection suggests the opposite of your words and can be hurtful.
• Fix it: If you disagree or want to provide feedback, be direct yet respectful. Use straightforward language to communicate your point clearly.

Lack of pauses:

• Speaking without pauses makes it hard for others to follow and can overwhelm the listener.
• Fix it: Use natural pauses to break up your speech, especially after important points. This makes your message clearer and gives others time to process.
• Limit talking to one minute: Keep your speaking turns short and allow for questions or interaction. This helps maintain engagement and ensures mutual understanding.

Rising inflection (upspeak):

• Ending statements with an upward inflection, such as “I think this could be a good idea?” makes it sound like a question rather than a confident statement.
• Fix it: Use a downward inflection to indicate confidence. Practice stating your ideas firmly to convey authority.

Too soft or hesitant:

• Speaking too softly or hesitantly can make you seem unsure, as in, “Um, I think maybe we should do it this way?”
• Fix it: Project your voice clearly and use decisive phrasing. Practicing what you want to say beforehand can help build confidence.

Fast pace:

• Speaking very quickly can make it hard for the listener to follow, like rushing through instructions without pauses.
• Fix it: Slow down and pause after key points. This allows your listener time to absorb the information and respond.

Monotone:

• Speaking without variation in pitch can make you sound uninterested. For example, delivering an entire presentation in a flat tone can disengage listeners.
• Fix it: Practice adding inflection to emphasize key points. Varying your pitch helps convey enthusiasm and keeps your audience engaged.

Aggressive:

• Speaking loudly or sharply, like saying “You need to do this now!” can intimidate others and hinder open communication.
• Fix it: Lower your volume and soften your phrasing. Use a calm and measured tone to communicate urgency without sounding aggressive.

High-pitched or shrill:

• A sudden high pitch can indicate frustration, such as “Why didn’t you do it this way?” which might make the listener feel anxious.
• Fix it: Breathe deeply before responding, and keep your pitch steady. A calm tone will help convey your message more effectively.

Overly cheerful tone during serious discussions:

• Using a cheerful tone to say something like “This isn’t such a big deal!” can feel dismissive during serious moments.
• Fix it: Match your tone to the gravity of the situation. Use a calm, empathetic voice when discussing serious topics.

Tone in verbal communication channels

Tone can vary greatly depending on the channel you’re using. It’s crucial to adapt how you communicate to fit the format — whether it’s an email, a message in a Slack channel, or a verbal discussion in a meeting. Here’s how you can think about tone for different kinds of communication channels.

• Use your voice to express tone: Your tone of voice can communicate just as much as your words. Speaking too quickly or in a monotone can come across as disinterested. Vary your pitch and pace to keep your listeners engaged and make sure they understand your enthusiasm or emphasis.
• Invite collaboration: When running a meeting or discussing tasks, use language that opens the door for input. Saying, “I’d love to hear your thoughts on this,” sets a collaborative tone, while simply stating, “This is what we’re doing,” might come off as directive or dismissive.
• Match the energy: If the person you’re speaking with is feeling stressed, a calm, steady tone can help. If they’re excited, showing matching enthusiasm creates a sense of alignment. The ability to mirror tone can make interactions smoother.

Handling silence and turn-taking

Silence can be uncomfortable, but it’s an important part of effective communication. Handling silence and managing who speaks when are crucial skills for respectful and productive discussions.

• Pause for impact: Allow a few moments of silence after someone has spoken, especially when they have shared something important. This shows you’re thinking about their words rather than jumping in with your response. It can also invite others to contribute.
• Wait before speaking: In group discussions, it can be helpful to take a moment before responding, giving others a chance to speak first. This demonstrates respect for the thoughts of others and encourages participation.
• Use silence to reflect: Silence can indicate that someone is reflecting or needs time to formulate a response. Allow this space without rushing them, especially during client discussions or when dealing with complex questions.
• Turn-taking cues: Watch for nonverbal cues like someone leaning forward or taking a breath as a sign they want to speak. You can also invite them by saying something like, “Did you have something you wanted to add?”
• Avoid interrupting: Resist the urge to interrupt. Even when there is an exciting point to add, wait until the speaker is finished. This helps in maintaining respectful and effective communication.

Promoting a culture of sensitivity and respect

The role of non-verbal communication in showing attentiveness and interest

Non-verbal cues like nodding, maintaining eye contact, and leaning slightly forward show that you are engaged and interested in the conversation. These cues can reinforce your verbal communication and make the speaker feel more understood and valued. In a virtual environment, where non-verbal cues are harder to convey, you can demonstrate attentiveness by using visual signals like thumbs up reactions or simply typing “That makes sense” in the chat.

Tips and techniques:

• Maintain consistent eye contact: Look at the speaker, whether in person or on video calls, to show that they have your full attention.
• Nod periodically: Nodding subtly as someone speaks indicates that you’re following along and encourages them to continue.
• Mirror expressions: Reflect the speaker’s emotions subtly with your own facial expressions to show empathy and connection.

Questions to reflect:

• How often do you consciously think about your non-verbal communication in conversations?
• Can you recall a time when someone’s non-verbal communication made you feel particularly heard or ignored? What did they do?
• How can you improve your non-verbal communication in virtual meetings?

Encouraging participation and valuing diverse perspectives in discussions

Diverse perspectives are vital for innovation and problem-solving. Actively encourage participation by inviting quieter team members to share their thoughts, using phrases like, “I’d love to hear your take on this, [Name].” Make it clear that all viewpoints are welcome, and ensure that discussions are not dominated by a few voices. When different opinions are expressed, acknowledge them and find ways to integrate them into the conversation, which helps to create a more inclusive and dynamic discussion.

Tips and techniques:

• Rotate facilitators: Allow different team members to lead meetings or discussions to ensure varied perspectives are heard.
• Use structured turn-taking: Implement round-robin discussions where each person is invited to share their thoughts in turn.
• Highlight diverse ideas: Regularly acknowledge and validate the unique perspectives shared by different team members to reinforce the value of diversity.

Questions to reflect:

• Do you notice the same voices dominating discussions in your team? How can you address this?
• What strategies have you used in the past to encourage quieter team members to speak up?

Recognizing and celebrating individual and team achievements to boost morale

Recognition is a powerful tool for building team spirit and motivation. Regularly acknowledge both individual and team achievements, whether it’s completing a challenging project, reaching a milestone, or simply someone going the extra mile. This can be done through shoutouts in meetings, a dedicated recognition channel in Slack, or a monthly “team awards” ceremony. Celebrating achievements not only boosts morale but also reinforces positive behavior and encourages others to contribute their best.

Tips and techniques:

• Tailor recognition: Consider what type of recognition each person values — some might appreciate a shout-out, while others prefer a more private acknowledgment.
• Celebrate milestones: Don’t wait for the end of a project; celebrate small victories along the way to keep morale high.

Questions to reflect:

• How do you currently recognize achievements within your team?
• What form of recognition do you appreciate most, and why?
• How can you better acknowledge and celebrate the successes of your colleagues?

Exercise: Rewrite messages

Skim through the messages below and choose one that resonates with you.

For your chosen message, rewrite the message to be more positive and professional.

Consider the reader’s feelings as your rewrite the message — what can you do to make sure the recipient feels respected and understood?

Exercise: Role-playing scenarios

• Have participants practice adjusting their tone based on different roles and situations. For example, imagine you’re emailing a client who has expressed frustration about delays. First, draft a response that’s purely factual, and then revise it to add empathy and constructive language. Example: Instead of, “The delay happened because of changes on your end,” try, “We understand that changes have led to some delays, and we’re committed to helping get things back on track together.”
• Another scenario could involve verbal feedback to a team member. Start with a version that’s direct but maybe a bit too harsh, like, “You need to pay more attention to details.” Then practice a softer, more supportive version: “I’ve noticed a few details were missed — let’s go over them together so we can avoid this next time.”

Exercise: Feedback practice

• Pair participants to practice giving feedback on tone. One person writes or speaks a message, and the partner responds with their perception of the tone. Did it come off as supportive or dismissive? Could something have been phrased better? This feedback loop helps individuals understand how their tone is received by others.
• This exercise is particularly helpful because it encourages reflection. For instance, saying “You could have done better on this” could be rephrased as, “I think there’s a lot we can learn from this. Let’s discuss some ways to make the next attempt even stronger.”

Exercise: Social Communication Role-Playing Scenarios

Objective: Practice initiating and sustaining informal communication in both remote and in-person environments.

How it Works:

• Setup: Split participants into pairs or small groups. Provide each group with a scenario card describing a specific social communication challenge. For example:
  • “You’re at a client’s office for the first time and want to build rapport with their team.”
  • “You’re working remotely and want to start a casual conversation with a team member you’ve never met in person.”
• Role-Play: Each participant takes turns playing different roles, such as the initiator of the conversation or the respondent. They should use techniques discussed in the training to foster informal communication.
• Debrief: After each role-play, participants discuss what worked, what didn’t, and how they felt during the interaction. The facilitator can provide additional feedback and tips.

Variation: For remote training, participants can use breakout rooms in Zoom or a similar platform to conduct role-plays, with each group sharing their experiences afterward in the main session.

Exercise: Debate Club: Reverse Roles

Objective: Improve empathy and the ability to see things from others’ perspectives.

How it Works:

• Setup: Divide participants into pairs or small groups and give them a topic to debate. However, each person must argue against their personal views on the topic.
• Activity: Participants prepare and then engage in a debate where they must convincingly argue the opposite side of what they believe, using active listening and empathy to understand the other perspective fully.
• Debrief: Discuss how it felt to argue the opposite viewpoint, what they learned about the other side, and how this exercise might help in real-world communication with clients or colleagues who have different opinions.

Variation: Include a “wildcard” round where participants must switch sides mid-debate, testing their adaptability and quick thinking.

Active listening

Active listening involves fully focusing on and understanding your conversation partner, beyond just hearing their words. It captures the emotions, intentions, and underlying messages being conveyed.

This skill is essential for building trust and rapport. When clients feel heard and understood, they are more likely to trust your expertise, fostering a collaborative relationship focused on shared goals.

Active listening also improves information gathering, enabling you to offer solutions that align with the client’s true needs. Techniques like mirroring, paraphrasing, and summarizing encourage deeper conversations, helping uncover critical insights and strengthening connections with clients and teammates.

Here are some scenarios in which active listening can have a positive impact:

• Building trust and rapport: Labeling positive emotions can make the other person feel appreciated and strengthen the relationship.
• Resolving disagreements: Listening carefully diffuses tension and helps identify the root cause of conflicts, allowing for effective compromise.
• Dealing with unclear requirements: Active listening allows you to ask the right questions and uncover critical details, reducing potential rework.
• Responding to a miscommunication: By actively listening, you can identify where the misunderstanding originated and clarify effectively.
• Explaining technical concepts to non-technical stakeholders: Listening to their concerns ensures your explanation addresses their actual needs and gaps in understanding.
• Managing client expectations: Listening ensures you understand their priorities and constraints, making it easier to set realistic expectations.
• Handling feedback from a client: By listening attentively, you show respect and are better equipped to address their concerns, leading to constructive resolutions.
• Addressing emotional concerns from team members: Listening empathetically helps validate their feelings and fosters a supportive work environment.

Pay full attention

Prioritize the speaker by minimizing distractions and focusing entirely on the conversation.

When engaging in a conversation, it’s essential to give your undivided attention to the speaker. This means not just setting aside physical distractions like your phone or other devices but also clearing your mind of unrelated thoughts. Full attention signals to the speaker that their message is important and valued. This practice not only improves your understanding of the content but also strengthens the relationship by showing respect and commitment.

Tips and techniques:

• Practice mindfulness: Before engaging in a conversation, take a few deep breaths to clear your mind of distractions. This helps center your focus on the speaker.
• Eliminate digital distractions: Turn off notifications on your devices or put them out of sight during important conversations to avoid temptation.
• Show you’re listening: Maintain eye contact and nod occasionally to signal that you’re actively listening. This non-verbal feedback reassures the speaker that they have your full attention.

Questions to reflect:

• How do you currently manage distractions when listening to someone? What strategies can you adopt to improve your focus?
• Think about a recent conversation where you were distracted. How might the outcome have differed if you had given your full attention?

Avoid interrupting

Interrupting can disrupt the flow of conversation and may make the speaker feel unheard. Allowing someone to complete their thoughts without cutting in creates a more respectful and open dialogue.

Tips and techniques:

• Practice active silence: Allow moments of silence in the conversation, giving the speaker space to expand on their thoughts without feeling rushed or interrupted.
• Pause before responding: Allow a brief pause after the speaker finishes to make sure you’ve fully understood their message before replying.
• Use minimal encouragers: Nod along, show facial expressions, and use phrases like “yes,” “hmm hmm,” or “ok” to show that you’re listening without interrupting.

Questions to reflect:

• How do you feel when someone interrupts you? How can this understanding help you resist the urge to interrupt others?

Listen without forming judgments

It’s important to listen with an open mind, free from preconceived notions. By doing so, you can better understand the speaker’s point of view without letting personal biases affect your interpretation.

Tips and techniques:

• Challenge your biases: Before a conversation, reflect on any biases you might hold and consciously set them aside to remain open to the speaker’s perspective.
• Stay curious: Approach the conversation with a mindset of curiosity rather than judgment. Remind yourself that you are there to learn from the speaker, not to critique them.
• Assume the other person can teach you something: Everyone knows something that you don’t know. Go into conversations looking for what you can learn.
• Learn from everyone: Treat every conversation as a chance to gain new insights. Engage actively and stay curious about the perspectives of others.
• Assume the best in people: Approach interactions with an open mind and positive expectations until proven otherwise. This sets a constructive tone and promotes trust.

Questions to reflect:

• Can you identify a situation where your biases affected your interpretation of someone’s message? What could you do differently in the future?
• How can you remind yourself to stay open-minded and curious in challenging conversations?

Don’t plan your response

Rather than planning your response while someone is talking, focus on being fully present. This allows you to respond more thoughtfully and meaningfully.

Tips and techniques:

• Pause before responding: A short pause after the speaker finishes helps ensure you’ve absorbed their message.
• Avoid “but” statements: Replacing “but” with “and” when responding can help acknowledge the speaker’s thoughts without negating them.

Questions to reflect:

• Reflect on a conversation where you found it difficult not to prepare a counterargument while the other person was speaking. What impact did that have on the dialogue?

Demonstrate empathy

Empathy means not only understanding the speaker’s concerns and emotions but also creating an environment where they feel heard and supported. This is crucial in conversations, especially in client-consultant relationships, where validating the client’s emotions can foster trust and lead to more effective problem-solving.

Tips and techniques:

• Ask follow-up questions: Show you are truly engaged by asking questions that explore the speaker’s concerns in greater depth. This demonstrates both interest and understanding.
• Acknowledge their feelings and efforts: Recognize the speaker’s emotions or challenges, even if you don’t fully agree with their point of view. For example, say, “I understand why this situation might be frustrating for you.”
• Summarize frequently: Periodically summarize what the speaker has said to ensure that you’re both on the same page and to show you’re actively listening.
• Normalize emotions: Use phrases like “It’s understandable that you feel this way” to validate the speaker’s emotional response, making them feel heard and supported.
• Connect through shared experiences: If appropriate, briefly share a similar experience to show you can relate to their feelings, but be mindful not to shift the focus away from the speaker.

Questions to reflect:

• When was the last time you felt truly understood during a conversation? What did the other person do to make you feel that way?
• How do you think your interactions would change if you made a conscious effort to consistently validate and empathize with the speaker’s feelings?

Ask clarifying questions

Clarifying questions are essential for deepening your understanding of the speaker’s message and ensuring you’re not making assumptions. Always ask questions if something is unclear; don’t be embarrassed if you don’t understand something. In fact, asking for clarification shows confidence and a commitment to getting it right, not a lack of knowledge. Ironically, you never actually sound “dumb” when you ask for clarification; you come off as brave and intelligent.

Use open-ended “What” and “How” questions to explore the speaker’s thoughts and feelings more deeply, encouraging dialogue. Open-ended questions like “What are your thoughts on this?” or “How do you see this affecting the project timeline?” prompt the speaker to elaborate and provide more context, leading to a richer conversation.

Get specific information with closed-ended questions when precise answers are needed. Asking questions like, “Did we meet the deadline?” helps you obtain specific information quickly.

Restate for clarity: Summarize your understanding of key points and ask for confirmation if needed. If you’re unsure about something, restating a summary of your understanding and asking for confirmation ensures that you’re on the same page and helps prevent confusion later.

Seek full understanding: Strive to never leave an interaction without fully understanding what was discussed or how something will work, even if it means asking follow-up questions. Clarifying ensures you’re aligned and helps prevent confusion later.

Don’t hesitate to ask for clarification: Phrasing your questions in a neutral manner, such as “Can you elaborate on what you meant by that?” or “When you say ‘challenging,’ could you specify what aspects are the most difficult?” helps clear up any ambiguities and ensures both parties share a common understanding of the topic.

Tips and techniques:

• Prepare a list of open-ended starters: Have a mental or physical list of open-ended questions like “Can you walk me through…” or “What’s your perspective on…” to use during conversations.
• Use silence as a tool: After asking a clarifying question, allow silence to give the speaker time to think and provide a thoughtful response.
• Clarify jargon or unclear terms: If the speaker uses technical terms or jargon, ask, “Can you explain what you mean by…” to help both parties have a mutual understanding.
• Encourage dialogue: Use open-ended questions like “What are your thoughts on this?” to prompt discussion.
• Get specific information: Ask closed-ended questions like “Did we meet the deadline?” when you need precise answers.
• Clarify stakeholder needs: Instead of asking, “Who should I send this to?”, say, “Who are the stakeholders that need to be informed or provide input?” This keeps the question focused on the purpose and not how to do the action.

Questions to reflect:

• Think of a time when you didn’t ask enough clarifying questions. What was the outcome, and how could it have been improved?
• How can you incorporate more open-ended questions into your daily conversations to deepen understanding?

Mirror the last few words

Mirroring is a way to show engagement and encourage the speaker to elaborate without making it feel like an interrogation. By repeating the last few words they say, you prompt them to dive deeper into the topic.

Without mirroring

With mirroring

When using mirroring, repeat the last 1–3 words with curiosity. This keeps the conversation focused and shows you’re actively listening. Questions like “Why?” or “What do you mean?” can come off as confrontational — mirroring achieves the same goal in a gentler way.

• Repeat the last 1 – 3 words: Echo key words to show you’re listening and prompt for more details.
• Use a curious tone: Show genuine interest to encourage the other person to elaborate.
• Practice regularly: The more you use mirroring, the more natural it will feel in conversations.

Here’s how this conversation can go with mirroring:

Client: “You need to expose an API endpoint for the frontend to access the user data. The current one doesn’t provide enough information.”

Consultant: “Enough information?”

Client: “Yeah, it’s missing some key fields like the user’s profile picture and account status. The frontend can’t properly display the user without them.”

Consultant: “Without them?”

Client: “Right, without that data, the UI shows placeholders, which makes it look broken. We need those fields added as soon as possible.”

Consultant: “As soon as possible?”

Client: “Yes, our release is next week, and we need to make sure everything is working by then.”

In this example, the consultant gets more useful information out of the client (what the fields will be used for) and uncovers some info that wasn’t in the original request — the timeline for when these changes are needed!

Here are some more examples of using mirroring in different scenarios:

Tips and techniques:

• Watch your tone: Ensure your tone is curious and neutral, encouraging more open communication.
• Practice with colleagues: Build comfort with mirroring by practicing it in low-stakes conversations first.

Questions to reflect:

• How comfortable are you with the technique of mirroring? How might it enhance your conversations if used more frequently?
• Can you remember a time when someone mirrored your words?

Label emotions

Labeling is a technique where you identify and articulate the speaker’s emotions to show that you are attuned to their emotional state.

Use your intuition to sense the speaker’s emotions and then label their emotional state. Labeling involves recognizing and verbalizing the emotions that the speaker may be experiencing. This technique helps to build rapport and makes the speaker feel understood on an emotional level. This technique is also powerful because it helps to bring emotions to the surface, making them easier to address.

Tips and techniques:

• Acknowledge emotions directly: Use phrases like “It seems like you’re feeling frustrated” to validate the other person’s emotions and open the door to productive dialogue.
• Use “It sounds like,” “It seems like,” and “It feels like” statements: These phrases can help you gently introduce a label without sounding accusatory. For example, “It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated with the timeline.”
• Be empathetic, not dismissive: When labeling emotions, make sure your tone is empathetic and that you’re not dismissing or minimizing the other person’s feelings.
• Don’t insert yourself into their emotions: Avoid phrases like “What I’m hearing is…” because it can make you appear self-centered. Instead, let labels sink in naturally without overusing them. While labeling emotions, it’s important to avoid making the conversation about yourself. Phrases like “What I’m hearing is…” can inadvertently shift focus away from the speaker. Instead, simply state the emotion you perceive, allowing the label to resonate without overwhelming the conversation.
• Practice labeling in low-stakes situations: Start by labeling emotions in everyday interactions with friends or family to build your confidence in using this technique.
• Observe body language: Pay attention to non-verbal cues like facial expressions and gestures to help identify the speaker’s emotions.
• Use multiple mirrors before a label: Gain a deeper understanding of the speaker’s emotions with multiple mirrors, then label the emotion, and follow up with another mirror to confirm clarity. By first mirroring to gather more information, then labeling the identified emotion, and finally mirroring again, you create a feedback loop that deepens understanding and clarifies the speaker’s emotional state.

Questions to reflect:

• How do you currently identify and respond to emotions in conversations? What difference could labeling emotions make in your client interactions?
• Have you ever misinterpreted someone’s emotions during a conversation? How might labeling emotions have altered the outcome?

Reinforcing positive emotions

Reinforce positive emotions by labeling them, e.g., “It feels like you’re being very generous with your time.” Labeling isn’t just for negative emotions — acknowledging positive emotions can also strengthen the relationship. If a client demonstrates generosity or enthusiasm, labeling these emotions can reinforce their positive actions and encourage more of the same behavior.

Situation: A client employee from another team has helped the consultant solve a problem.

Client: “Here’s the data you asked for. Let me know if there’s anything else you need.”

Consultant: “It sounds like you’ve put a lot of effort into making this easy for me to use.”

Client: “I just wanted to make sure it was clear so you didn’t have to spend extra time sorting through it.”

Consultant: “It seems like you really value helping others work efficiently, and it shows.”

Client: “Thanks, I’m glad it’s helpful. Let me know how it works out.”

Consultant: “It feels like your support here is going to make a big difference in moving this project forward. I really appreciate it.”

Situation: A client employee from another team has provided insight that unblocked a technical issue the consultant was facing.

Client: “Here’s a workaround for that issue you asked me about.”

Consultant: “Wow thank you, it feels like you’re really generous with your time.”

Client: “Oh thank you, it’s something we had to deal with a few months ago. I’m glad it’s useful now.”

Consultant: “It seems like you take pride in helping other people.”

Client: “Thank you, I’m happy to help. Let me know if you have anything else I can help with.”

Situation: A client employee has made time for a brainstorming session, contributing valuable ideas.

Client: “I thought this approach might help streamline what you’re working on.”

Consultant: “It sounds like you’ve been thinking creatively about how to make this process better.”

Client: “Yeah, I’ve seen some similar challenges, so I thought I’d offer a few ideas.”

Consultant: “It seems like you’re really invested in seeing this succeed, even though it’s outside your main responsibilities.”

Client: “I just want to make sure everything comes together. It’s nice to see progress.”

Consultant: “It feels like your contributions are setting us up for success. Thanks so much for being part of this.”

Situation: A client employee has stayed late to help the consultant review a deliverable before a tight deadline.

Client: “It’s no problem, I just wanted to make sure everything looked good before you send it out.”

Consultant: “It sounds like you really care about making sure this project is top-notch.”

Client: “Definitely. I know how important this is for the team.”

Consultant: “It seems like you always go the extra mile to help the people you’re working with.”

Client: “Thanks. I’m glad I could pitch in.”

Consultant: “It feels like your dedication has made all the difference here. I can’t thank you enough.”

Situation: A client employee has shared feedback on the consultant’s work, offering thoughtful suggestions.

Client: “I think these changes might make the user flow a little smoother.”

Consultant: “It sounds like you’ve got a great eye for improving the user experience.”

Client: “I just want to make sure it’s easy for our users to navigate.”

Consultant: “It seems like you’re really focused on delivering something people will love.”

Client: “Exactly. I’m glad you’re open to the feedback.”

Consultant: “It feels like your insights are exactly what we needed to refine this. Thank you for sharing them.”

Reducing negative emotions

Situation: A client project manager feels betrayed because one of their team members was helping the consultant’s team without their approval.

Client: “I just found out that one of my team members has been helping you every day! This is completely unacceptable. You went behind my back.”

Consultant: “It sounds like you’re upset that this happened without your input or agreement.”

Client: “Yes I’m upset. I need them focused on my project, not yours.”

Consultant: “It seems like you’re frustrated that you weren’t asked first.”

Client: “Exactly. Exactly. I need to be asked first if you want my team’s help.”

Consultant: “I understand. Me and my team will always route requests to you first.”

Situation: The client is angry because a critical bug caused downtime in production.

Client: “This is completely unacceptable! Our production system was down for two hours because of this bug! Do you realize how much revenue we’ve lost?”

Consultant: “It seems like you’re really upset about the impact this has had on your business.”

Client: “Of course I’m upset! We can’t afford these kinds of mistakes. Our customers depend on us, and this makes us look unreliable.”

Consultant: “It sounds like you’re worried about how this might affect your customers’ trust.”

Client: “Yes, exactly. We’ve worked so hard to build our reputation, and now this happens.”

Consultant: “It feels like you’re concerned that one mistake could undo all the progress you’ve made with your customers.”

Client: “That’s right. I just want to make sure we don’t face this kind of issue again.”

Consultant: “It seems like you’re looking for assurance that we can address this problem and prevent it in the future.”

Client: “Yes, I just want a clear plan to avoid this happening again.”

Situation: A client project manager feels betrayed because one of their team members was helping the consultant’s team without their approval.

Client: “I can’t believe you decided to change the timeline without even consulting me! This is my project, and now it feels like I’m being left out.”

Consultant: “It seems like you’re feeling hurt about not being included in the decision.”

Client: “Yes, exactly. I thought we were working together on this, and now I feel sidelined.”

Consultant: “It sounds like you’re worried that your role in the project isn’t being respected.”

Client: “That’s right. I need to be involved so I can make sure everything aligns with what we’re trying to achieve.”

Consultant: “It feels like you’re upset because you want to ensure the project stays on the right track and matches your vision.”

Client: “Yes, I want to feel like I’m part of the process, not just informed after the fact.”

Consultant: “It seems like you’re looking for a way to restore trust and make sure your input is considered moving forward.”

Client: “Exactly. I just need to know we’re working together as a team.”

Situation: A stakeholder is anxious after a major pivot in the project’s direction.

Client: “This pivot has completely thrown me off. We were heading in one direction, and now everything has changed. How are we supposed to make this work?”

Consultant: “It seems like you’re feeling really unsettled by this sudden change.”

Client: “Yes, I don’t know if we’ll be able to adjust in time to meet our goals.”

Consultant: “It sounds like you’re worried about how this pivot will affect the project’s success.”

Client: “Exactly. It feels like we’ve lost all the progress we made so far.”

Consultant: “It feels like you’re concerned that the work you’ve done might not be useful anymore.”

Client: “That’s right. I just want to make sure we’re not starting over from scratch.”

Consultant: “It seems like you’re looking for a clear plan to adapt to this change and still meet your objectives.”

Client: “Yes, that would definitely help. I just need to see how we’re going to move forward from here.”

Situation: The client is hesitant about adopting a new tool suggested by the consultant.

Client: “I’m not sure if this tool is the right choice for our team. It’s a big shift, and we’ve had bad experiences with tools like this before.”

Consultant: “It seems like you’re uncomfortable with that.”

Client: “Yeah, I just don’t want to commit to something that might not work for us.”

Consultant: “It sounds like you’re worried the team won’t adapt well or that it might create more problems than it solves.”

Client: “Exactly. If it slows us down or introduces bugs, we’ll lose time we don’t have.”

Consultant: “It feels like you’re looking for more confidence that this is the right solution for your needs.”

Client: “Yes, I’d like to see some proof it’ll actually work before we dive in.”

Situation: A colleague on the internal team feels uneasy about proposing a bold idea during a leadership meeting.

Colleague: “I’ve been thinking about suggesting a pretty big change, but I’m not sure how leadership will react.”

Consultant: “It seems like you’re uncomfortable with that.”

Colleague: “Yeah, it’s a bit nerve-wracking. I don’t want to come off as out of touch or overly critical.”

Consultant: “It sounds like you’re worried about how your idea will be received by others.”

Colleague: “Exactly. I think the idea has merit, but I’m not sure it’s the right time or audience.”

Consultant: “It feels like you’re trying to balance making an impact with avoiding unnecessary risk.”

Colleague: “That’s it. I just need to frame it in a way that shows the value without stepping on toes.”

Situation: A stakeholder is apprehensive about reducing scope to meet a deadline.

Client: “I don’t know about cutting these features. They feel pretty important, and I’m not sure it’s the right call.”

Consultant: “It seems like you’re uncomfortable with that.”

Client: “Yeah, it’s just hard to let go of things that we’ve spent time planning.”

Consultant: “It sounds like you’re concerned that reducing scope might compromise the project’s success.”

Client: “Exactly. If we cut too much, the final product might not meet expectations.”

Consultant: “It feels like you’re looking for a way to deliver something valuable while keeping the core vision intact.”

Client: “Yes, I want to make sure we don’t lose sight of what really matters.”

Situation: The client is exasperated with the vague requirements provided earlier, leading to misunderstandings in the project scope, and the consultant needs to address this frustration.

Client: "I'm sick and tired of repeating myself! How many times do I have to explain what we need? This project is turning into a nightmare!"

Consultant: "It seems like you're feeling exasperated about having to clarify the requirements repeatedly."

Client: "Yes, because it's wasting my time and holding up the entire project!"

Consultant: "It sounds like you're concerned that these misunderstandings are causing significant delays."

Client: "Exactly! We can't keep going around in circles like this; it's costing us money every day."

Consultant: "It feels like you're worried about the financial impact of these delays."

Situation: The client is highly agitated due to a miscommunication that led to incorrect features being developed, and the consultant needs to address their agitation.

Client: "This is a disaster! You built the wrong features entirely! How could this happen? This sets us back weeks!"

Consultant: "It seems like you're really upset about the miscommunication leading to the wrong features being developed."

Client: "Upset doesn't cover it! This is incompetence! We trusted you to get this right!"

Consultant: "It sounds like you're feeling let down and questioning our reliability."

Client: "Yes, I'm starting to wonder if we made a mistake partnering with you."

Consultant: "It feels like you're concerned about the future of our collaboration and its impact on your project's success."

Situation: A Marketing team member is irate with Sales over a campaign that didn't generate expected leads, and the consultant needs to mediate.

Marketing: "Sales completely dropped the ball! We delivered high-quality leads, and they squandered them! This is infuriating!"

Consultant: "It seems like you're really angry that the leads weren't effectively followed up on by Sales."

Marketing: "Absolutely! We put in countless hours crafting this campaign, and they just let the opportunities slip away!"

Consultant: "It sounds like you're frustrated that your hard work isn't resulting in the expected outcomes."

Marketing: "Yes, it's demoralizing, and it's affecting our team's morale!"

Consultant: "It feels like you're concerned about the impact on your team and the company's overall performance."

Situation: A Program Manager is frustrated with a Designer who is being uncooperative and vague about project requirements, and needs to address this issue.

Program Manager: "I'm at my wits' end! Every time I ask for specifics, you give me nothing but fluff! How am I supposed to move this project forward?"

Designer: "It seems like you're frustrated that I'm not providing detailed information."

Program Manager: "Exactly! Without concrete details, we can't allocate resources or set realistic timelines!"

Designer: "It sounds like you're concerned about project planning and meeting deadlines."

Program Manager: "Yes, and if we don't get this sorted out, the whole project is in jeopardy!"

Designer: "It feels like you're worried about the project's success and your responsibility in ensuring it."

Situation: The client is furious because the app's user interface is confusing customers, leading to a spike in support calls, and the consultant needs to address their concerns.

Client: "This user interface is a complete mess! Our support lines are flooded because no one can figure out how to use the app! This is unacceptable!"

Consultant: "It seems like you're extremely frustrated with the current user interface causing issues for your customers."

Client: "Frustrated? I'm livid! This is damaging our reputation and costing us money!"

Consultant: "It sounds like you're worried about the negative impact on your brand and financial losses due to increased support needs."

Client: "Exactly! If this continues, we'll lose customers to our competitors!"

Consultant: "It feels like you're concerned about customer retention and staying competitive in the market."

Situation: The client is alarmed about security vulnerabilities found in the software, and the consultant needs to address their urgent concerns.

Client: "This is a serious breach! Our customer's data is at risk because of these vulnerabilities! How could you let this happen?"

Consultant: "It seems like you're highly concerned about the security issues affecting customer data."

Client: "Concerned is an understatement! If this gets out, our company's credibility is ruined!"

Consultant: "It sounds like you're worried about the potential damage to your company's reputation and trust with customers."

Client: "Yes, and legal repercussions could be devastating!"

Consultant: "It feels like you're anxious about both the legal and financial consequences of this situation."

Situation: The client is upset because the consultant didn't implement a critical feature they believed was agreed upon, causing project delays.

Client: "I can't believe the offline mode isn't available! We agreed this was essential! This oversight is unacceptable and is costing us dearly!"

Consultant: "It seems like you're really upset that the offline mode wasn't implemented as expected."

Client: "Yes, our field agents are now unable to perform their tasks, and it's creating chaos!"

Consultant: "It sounds like you're worried about the operational disruptions this is causing."

Client: "Exactly! This mistake is impacting our service delivery and customer satisfaction!"

Consultant: "It feels like you're concerned about maintaining high service standards and keeping your customers happy."

Situation: A Sales Manager is angry with the Marketing team's lack of support for an upcoming product launch, and the consultant needs to address the issue.

Sales Manager: "This is ridiculous! The launch is next week, and Marketing hasn't provided any of the materials we need! They're sabotaging us!"

Consultant: "It seems like you're really frustrated that you haven't received the necessary materials from Marketing."

Sales Manager: "Frustrated doesn't cut it! Their negligence is going to make us look incompetent in front of clients!"

Consultant: "It sounds like you're worried about the potential negative impression on your clients due to this delay."

Sales Manager: "Yes, and it's going to hurt our sales numbers and commissions!"

Consultant: "It feels like you're concerned about the financial impact and your team's morale."

Situation: The client is exasperated due to vague performance requirements leading to unsatisfactory results, and the consultant needs to address this frustration.

Client: "The app is slow and unresponsive! I thought we made it clear we needed top-notch performance! This is unacceptable!"

Consultant: "It seems like you're really disappointed with the application's current performance."

Client: "Disappointed? I'm furious! Our users are leaving negative reviews, and it's damaging our reputation!"

Consultant: "It sounds like you're worried about how this is affecting user satisfaction and your brand image."

Client: "Exactly! This could have been avoided if you had just delivered what we asked for!"

Consultant: "It feels like you're concerned that misaligned expectations are causing serious issues for your business."

Situation: A client team member is frustrated with unclear requirements that have caused delays in the project.

Client: “I’m getting really annoyed that we keep having to rework these features because the requirements weren’t clear in the first place.”

Consultant: “It seems like you’re frustrated about the lack of clarity causing delays and extra work.”

Client: “Yeah, it just feels like we’re wasting so much time on things we should’ve nailed down earlier.”

Consultant: “It sounds like you’re also concerned about how this might impact the overall timeline.”

Client: “Exactly. I just want to avoid this happening again.”

Consultant: “It feels like you’d like us to focus on better defining the requirements upfront to save time and keep things on schedule.”

Situation: A client developer feels upset about receiving critical feedback on their code from their team.

Client: “I spent hours on that code, and all I got was criticism about how it wasn’t up to par. It feels like nothing I do is ever good enough.”

Consultant: “It seems like you’re feeling unappreciated for the effort you put into your work.”

Client: “Yeah, I just wanted them to acknowledge how much thought I put into it.”

Consultant: “It sounds like you were hoping for more recognition before diving into the feedback.”

Client: “Exactly. I don’t mind improving the code, but it would mean a lot if they saw the value in what I did first.”

Consultant: “It feels like balancing acknowledgment with critique would make these discussions more productive for you.”

Situation: A client stakeholder feels hesitant about approving a budget increase for a project.

Client: “I know the project is important, but the cost is really high. I’m not sure if we can justify it right now.”

Consultant: “It seems like you’re feeling torn between the value of the project and its financial impact.”

Client: “That’s right. I can see why it’s necessary, but I’m worried about how it will affect other priorities.”

Consultant: “It sounds like you’re concerned about balancing this project with the overall budget.”

Client: “Exactly. If I had more assurance that this would deliver results, I think I could make the case for it.”

Consultant: “It feels like having more concrete outcomes would make this decision easier for you.”

Situation: A Bitovi team member is explaining internal frustrations about shifting priorities in marketing efforts.

Client: “I just don’t understand why we’re constantly changing direction. It feels like all the effort we’ve put into the last campaign was for nothing.”

Consultant: “It seems like you’re frustrated that the changes are making it hard to see progress.”

Client: “Exactly, it feels like we’re spinning our wheels without making a real impact.”

Consultant: “It sounds like you’re also disheartened about not being able to fully execute on the original plans.”

Client: “Yeah, I just want to feel like the work I’m doing is leading somewhere.”

Consultant: “It feels like you’re looking for a sense of stability and a clearer sense of direction moving forward.”

Situation: A product owner is uncertain about how to prioritize a long list of features.

Client: “We’ve got this massive backlog, and I just don’t know what to focus on first. Everything feels important.”

Consultant: “It seems like you’re overwhelmed by the sheer number of decisions that need to be made.”

Client: “Exactly. I don’t want to pick the wrong thing and set us back.”

Consultant: “It sounds like you’re also worried about the potential risks of prioritizing incorrectly.”

Client: “Yeah, I’m nervous that it’ll hurt our progress if we make the wrong call.”

Consultant: “It feels like you’re looking for a way to prioritize that balances impact and risk to move forward confidently.”

Situation: A DevOps engineer is frustrated with deployment issues causing downtime.

Client: “These deployment failures are ridiculous. It feels like we’re spending more time fixing problems than deploying updates.”

Consultant: “It seems like you’re frustrated about the disruptions caused by these issues.”

Client: “Yeah, and I’m also annoyed because it’s affecting the team’s ability to trust our processes.”

Consultant: “It sounds like you’re also concerned about how this might impact the team’s morale and productivity.”

Client: “Exactly. If we can’t trust the process, everything slows down.”

Consultant: “It feels like you’d like us to focus on improving the reliability of the deployments so the team can regain confidence in the system.”

Situation: A designer is disappointed after receiving conflicting feedback on a design proposal.

Client: “I don’t know what to do with this. One person wants simpler layouts, but someone else wants more details. I can’t make everyone happy.”

Consultant: “It sounds like you’re disappointed and stuck trying to reconcile opposing feedback.”

Client: “Yeah, I just feel like no matter what I choose, someone’s going to be unhappy.”

Consultant: “It seems like you’re also uncertain about how to make the best decision in this situation.”

Client: “Exactly. I want the design to work for everyone, but it feels impossible.”

Consultant: “It feels like you’d like us to find a way to align on priorities so the design can satisfy the most important needs.”

If someone goes silent

If the speaker becomes quiet after a label, consider going deeper with multiple labels to uncover more emotions. Sometimes, labeling an emotion might lead the speaker to pause and reflect. This silence can be an opportunity to explore deeper feelings. If appropriate, follow up with additional labels to help the speaker articulate their emotions further, which can lead to a more profound understanding of their concerns.

Situation: The consultant is presenting an idea to the client team, and a client team member starts to go quiet during the discussion.

Consultant: “So, with this approach, we’d be reducing the number of manual steps in the deployment process, which should speed things up overall.”

Client: “I see… but we’ve already got a lot of processes running concurrently.”

Consultant: “It sounds like you’re concerned about how adding this change might affect the existing workflows.”

Client: “Yeah, a bit. We’ve had some issues with adding too many things at once before.”

Consultant: “It feels like you want to make sure this new approach won’t cause more problems down the line.”

Client goes quiet for ten seconds…

Consultant: “It seems like something else might be on your mind about this.”

Client: “I’m just wondering how this would affect our deployment timelines. I don’t want us to fall behind again.”

Consultant: “It sounds like you’re worried this might slow things down, and that’s a big concern for you.”

Client: “Yeah, exactly. I want to make sure we’re staying on track.”

Don’t insert yourself into their emotions

Avoid phrases like “What I’m hearing is…” because it can make you appear self-centered.

Instead, let labels sink in naturally without overusing them. While labeling emotions, it’s important to avoid making the conversation about yourself. Phrases like “What I’m hearing is…” can inadvertently shift focus away from the speaker. Instead, simply state the emotion you perceive, allowing the label to resonate without overwhelming the conversation.

Situation: The client expresses doubt about the feasibility of a proposed solution.

Client: “I don’t know if this approach is going to work for our team. It seems like it’ll be hard to implement with the current infrastructure.”

Consultant: “What I’m hearing is that you’re worried this will take a lot of time to implement.”

Client: “I guess so… but that’s not really what I’m most concerned about.”

Here’s a better way to approach this conversation:

Consultant: “It feels like you’re concerned that our current setup might not support this solution well.”

Client: “Yes, exactly. I’m not sure our infrastructure can handle it.”

Consultant: “It seems like you’re wondering whether this is even feasible with what you currently have in place.”

Client: “Yeah, that’s what I’m worried about.”

Consultant: “It sounds like you’re looking for an approach that’s a better fit for the existing system.”

Paraphrase to confirm understanding

Restate the speaker’s message in your own words to confirm understanding and demonstrate empathy. Paraphrasing involves taking the essence of what the speaker has said and restating it in your own words. This not only confirms your understanding but also shows the speaker that you are engaged and processing their message.

Here are some example conversations that show paraphrasing in action:

Tips and techniques:

• Focus on key points: When paraphrasing, avoid trying to repeat every detail. Instead, identify the core message the speaker is communicating and express it in a way that captures the essence. This prevents confusion and keeps the conversation productive.
• Use neutral language: When rephrasing, make sure not to introduce bias or judgment. Stick to neutral terms to ensure you’re accurately reflecting the speaker’s message without distorting it.
• Watch for non-verbal cues: Pay attention to the speaker’s body language and tone as these can indicate their level of comfort or engagement with what they’re saying. If they seem unsure or frustrated, address these cues in your paraphrasing.
• Don’t overdo it: Paraphrasing is useful but can feel repetitive if done too frequently. Use it when clarification is necessary or when important information is being shared. Sometimes a simple acknowledgment is all that’s needed.
• Use paraphrasing to steer the conversation: In situations where the discussion is going off track, you can paraphrase to guide the conversation back to the core issue, without being dismissive. This shows you’re engaged while helping maintain focus.

Questions to reflect:

• Can I recall a time when paraphrasing helped resolve a misunderstanding with a client or colleague? What did I do well in that situation, and what could I have improved?
• In my role, what are some common scenarios where paraphrasing could help me confirm understanding or show engagement with a client’s concerns?
• What non-verbal signals do I notice in conversations that can help me better understand when it’s necessary to paraphrase and clarify the message?
• How can I strike a balance between paraphrasing to confirm understanding and allowing the conversation to flow naturally without interrupting?
• Are there situations where paraphrasing might feel unnecessary or annoying to others? How can I tell the difference, and what adjustments can I make?

Summarize to rearticulate and validate emotions

Summarizing is an essential technique in active listening that involves condensing the speaker’s message into a brief recap. This helps confirm that both parties are on the same page and that the key points have been accurately understood.

A good summary is the combination of paraphrasing (rearticulating what the speaker has said) with labeling emotions (so the speaker feels validated).

Here are some examples of using mirroring, labeling, paraphrasing, and summarizing together to understand what a client is saying and make them feel like they’re being heard:

Tips and techniques:

• Be concise: Aim to keep your summaries brief and to the point, focusing on the essential information without rehashing the entire conversation.
• Listen for the “that’s right”: After summarizing, wait for the other person to say something like “you nailed it” or “that’s it” to confirm that they agree with your paraphrasing and labeling.

Questions to reflect:

• When have you experienced the benefits of summarizing in a conversation? How did it help provide clarity and mutual understanding?
• How might summarizing more often change the quality of your client interactions?

Exercise: Small talk questions

With a partner, ask them to pick one of the questions below or come up with their own question.

Then, ask them the question and actively listen to their response. Use mirroring and labeling to learn more about them and make them feel heard.

When you’re done, switch and pick one of the questions (or come up with your own) for your partner to ask you.

Questions:

• What’s something you’ve been passionate about lately?
• Can you tell me about a hobby or activity you enjoy in your free time?
• What’s the best book you’ve read or movie you’ve watched recently?
• How do you like to spend your weekends?
• What’s a recent adventure or trip you’ve taken?
• What’s something you’re looking forward to in the next few months?
• Can you describe a favorite memory from the past year?
• What’s a skill or talent you have that most people don’t know about?
• How do you relax or unwind after a long day?
• What’s a new hobby or interest you’ve picked up recently?
• What’s something interesting or unique about where you grew up?
• What’s a cause or issue that’s particularly important to you?

Persuasive communication

Persuasive communication is the process of influencing others to take action or adopt an idea. It goes beyond just “convincing” and focuses on creating mutual understanding through meaningful dialogue. Persuasion involves tailoring your message to your audience’s needs and concerns, building trust, and guiding them toward decisions that benefit all parties.

You are expected to foster collaboration, influence decisions, and move projects forward. Whether it’s with clients or internal teams, strong persuasive skills are key to solving problems, aligning on goals, and driving progress.

Examples in consulting:

• Client interaction scenarios: On your client project, you will frequently need to present solutions, justify decisions, and resolve disagreements with client team members. This requires clear and compelling communication to ensure the client understands the value of your recommendations.
• Internal team communication: Within your team, you might need to align on priorities, influence design choices, or advocate for resources and staffing changes.
• Leadership and stakeholder management: Persuasion is critical when managing expectations or convincing stakeholders to adopt new tools or processes. You may need to adjust your approach depending on the audience’s familiarity with technical details.
• Project leadership challenges: In projects, securing stakeholder buy-in, particularly when resistance arises, requires careful framing and persuasion. Whether it’s introducing new technologies or shifting project direction, the ability to influence without forcing decisions is key.

Challenges you might face:

• Client resistance: Clients may be hesitant to change due to comfort with existing systems, perceived risks, or budget concerns. Effective persuasion involves addressing these concerns directly and showing how changes benefit them in the long run.
• Internal misalignment: Your team may have conflicting views on priorities or technical approaches. Persuasive communication helps ensure everyone is on the same page and moving toward a common goal.
• Resource constraints: Convincing stakeholders to allocate additional resources, whether time, budget, or people, requires strong arguments backed by data and a clear vision of the benefits.

Before trying to persuade others

Before you try to convince someone of your great idea, be sure to use the techniques from earlier in this page to first understand your client.

• Build trust and rapport: Do the work to establish a relationship with them before trying to persuade them of anything.
• Understand your client’s needs and motivations: What are their goals, values, or concerns? Knowing this helps you tailor your message to what matters most to them.
• Ask open-ended questions: Start by asking questions that allow your audience to share their thoughts, challenges, and priorities. This not only helps you understand them better but also shows that you care about their perspective.
• Listen actively: Pay close attention to their responses, and don’t interrupt. Reflect their points back to them to show you’re engaged and truly listening.
• Identify common ground: Find areas where your goals or values align. Highlighting shared objectives creates a foundation of trust and cooperation, making your message more compelling.

The Three Modes of Persuasion

Aristotle’s three modes of persuasion — ethos, pathos, and logos — are valuable tools for consultants. They help influence clients, colleagues, and stakeholders in a structured and effective way.

Ethos (credibility)

Ethos refers to credibility or trustworthiness. It’s about demonstrating that you have the expertise and authority to offer the right solutions. When people trust you, they are more likely to be persuaded by your recommendations.

Credibility is crucial in building trust with both clients and internal teams. Without it, your ideas and suggestions might be dismissed, even if they are well-reasoned.

How to build ethos:

• Highlight qualifications: Share your experience, certifications, or unique skills that relate to the project at hand. When clients or colleagues see your background aligns with their needs, it builds confidence in your suggestions.
• Use testimonials and case studies: Referencing past successes can be a powerful way to establish credibility. When others have trusted you and achieved positive outcomes, it makes your recommendations more compelling.
• Show confidence and authority: Your body language, tone, and even how you structure your sentences contribute to your credibility. Standing behind your recommendations with confidence shows you believe in what you’re offering.

Cognitive biases related to ethos:

• Authority bias: People trust those they perceive as authority figures. By demonstrating your expertise, you can use this bias to your advantage.
• Social proof: Referencing past clients or projects where your approach has been successful can persuade others to trust your judgment.
• Halo effect: When you establish credibility in one area, that trust can extend to other areas. If you’re known for technical expertise, your opinion on project management might carry more weight, even if it’s not your main domain.

Showing confidence and authority with body language:

• Maintain good posture: Stand or sit tall with your shoulders back. A strong posture conveys that you are self-assured and in control, while slouching can give the impression of uncertainty or lack of confidence.
• Make eye contact: Direct eye contact shows attentiveness and confidence. It signals that you are fully engaged and comfortable in the situation, which helps build trust with your audience.
• Use gestures deliberately: Use hand gestures to emphasize key points, but do so sparingly and naturally. Overly dramatic or nervous gestures can be distracting and detract from your message.
• Avoid nervous movements: Fidgeting, tapping, or shifting weight frequently can undermine your authority. Stay composed and still to project a calm, confident demeanor.

Tone of voice:

• Speak clearly and at a steady pace: Speaking too quickly can make you seem anxious, while speaking too slowly may suggest hesitation. Aim for a steady, measured pace that shows you are in control of your thoughts and the conversation.
• Modulate your volume: Speak loudly enough to be heard clearly but avoid shouting. A strong, calm voice shows confidence, while a weak or overly quiet voice may signal uncertainty.
• Use pauses for emphasis: Strategic pauses give weight to your words and allow your audience to absorb key points. It also shows you are comfortable with silence, a sign of authority and control.
• Avoid rising intonation on statements: Ending sentences with a rising intonation (as though asking a question) can make you sound unsure. Keep your tone steady and assertive, particularly when making recommendations or conclusions.

Pathos (emotional appeal)

Pathos is the emotional appeal in persuasion. It connects with your audience’s feelings and values, making your message resonate on a personal level. It’s particularly helpful when facts and logic alone aren’t enough to persuade.

In consulting, relationships matter. Building rapport and connecting emotionally can help ease resistance, especially when you’re asking clients to take risks or change familiar processes.

How to use pathos:

• Empathy: Demonstrating that you understand your audience’s emotions can create trust and openness to your ideas.
• Acknowledge concerns: Address the emotions behind your audience’s concerns. If clients are worried about costs or delays, acknowledging these fears shows empathy and helps them feel understood.
• Tell compelling stories: Stories can illustrate the benefits of your solution in a way that data can’t. Share examples of how similar clients have overcome challenges and succeeded with your approach.
• Appeal to values: Align your recommendations with the client’s values. Whether it’s innovation, efficiency, or customer satisfaction, showing how your solution supports what’s most important to them can make a powerful impact.
• Positive framing: Focus on potential benefits rather than just problems. For example, saying “Implementing this solution will improve efficiency” sounds more appealing than “Without this solution, efficiency will decline.”
• Shift perspectives: Sometimes changing the way you present an idea can help others see it in a new light. For example, framing a difficult technical solution as a way to future-proof their business might resonate more than discussing the complexity involved.

Cognitive biases related to pathos:

• Loss aversion: People are more motivated to avoid losses than to gain benefits. Frame your arguments around what could be lost by not adopting your solution.
• Scarcity: Highlighting the limited availability or opportunity of a solution can make it seem more valuable.

Logos (logical appeal)

Logos refers to the logical appeal in persuasion. It’s about using data, facts, and logical reasoning to support your argument. In consulting, a well-reasoned, data-driven approach is often necessary to convince clients and stakeholders.

When decisions impact budgets, timelines, or technical solutions, logical arguments can provide the hard evidence needed to secure buy-in.

How to use logos:

• Present data clearly: Use charts, metrics, and clear explanations to support your recommendations. Avoid overwhelming your audience with too much detail — focus on the data that directly supports your argument.
• Simplify complex ideas: Break down technical concepts into easy-to-understand language. Your audience may not have the same technical background, so clarity is crucial.
• Demonstrate cause and effect: Show how your solution directly addresses their pain points. Logical reasoning should clearly link the problem to your proposed solution.

Cognitive biases related to logos:

• Anchoring effect: The first piece of information presented can heavily influence decisions. Start with your strongest data point to anchor the conversation in your favor.
• Confirmation bias: People tend to favor information that supports their pre-existing beliefs. Align your data with what your audience already believes to make it easier for them to accept.
• Availability heuristic: People often rely on the most readily available information to make decisions. Use recent, memorable data to support your arguments.

Kairos (timing and context)

Ethos, pathos, and logos are the three main modes of rhetorical appeal — but there exist more modes worth considering when making a persuasive argument.

Kairos refers to timing and context. It’s about presenting your argument at the right moment when your audience is most receptive. Even the best argument can fall flat if it’s delivered at the wrong time.

In consulting, timing can be just as important as the content of your message. The right message at the wrong time can lead to rejection, while a well-timed proposal can lead to immediate buy-in.

How to use kairos:

• Choose the right moment: Timing your proposal during a project review or after a major milestone can make your audience more receptive.
• Adapt to the audience: Pay attention to your audience’s mood, energy levels, and openness to new ideas. Tailor your approach accordingly.
• Capitalize on momentum: Introduce ideas when positive results or changes are already in progress.

Cognitive biases related to kairos:

• Recency bias: People are more likely to remember the last point you made. Make sure to close with a strong, clear recommendation.
• Social proof: Pointing to similar companies or teams who have adopted your approach can build confidence in your proposal.
• Bandwagon effect: People are more likely to adopt ideas that are gaining popularity. Present your ideas when there is growing support for change.

Telos (purpose and ultimate goal)

Telos refers to the purpose, aim, or final outcome you are working toward. It’s about the why behind your message — the end goal that your persuasion serves. While ethos focuses on credibility, pathos on emotional connection, logos on logic, and kairos on timing, telos ensures that your argument remains focused on achieving a clear, shared objective.

In consulting, understanding and clearly communicating telos is crucial because your audience — whether clients, stakeholders, or internal teams — needs to know not only what you are proposing but why it matters in the larger context of their goals.

How to use telos:

• Clearly define the end goal: Before you begin any persuasive effort, ensure you have a crystal-clear understanding of the purpose of your message. What ultimate outcome are you trying to achieve? Whether it’s improving operational efficiency, reducing costs, or driving innovation, this purpose should guide every part of your argument.
• Align with your audience’s goals: For persuasion to be effective, your telos must align with the priorities of your audience. If the end goal of your recommendation resonates with what matters most to them, they are more likely to accept your argument. Take time to understand their long-term vision, strategic goals, and immediate needs.
• Frame everything around the big picture: Keep your audience focused on the larger purpose behind your argument. This helps prevent getting stuck in small details or objections. Continuously reminding them of the broader goal ensures that discussions remain productive and goal-oriented.

How to highlight telos:

• Define success: Explain the desired end state clearly. What does success look like? Whether it’s achieving specific performance metrics, transforming a business process, or creating competitive advantage, make sure your audience understands the ultimate objective.
• Explain why it matters: Connect your argument to why the end goal is important, not just for you but for your audience. Whether it’s about improving customer satisfaction, increasing market share, or ensuring long-term sustainability, your audience must understand why the desired outcome is worth pursuing.
• Keep the conversation focused on the end goal: During your presentation or discussion, ensure you continuously bring the focus back to the telos. This helps prevent the conversation from derailing into side issues that aren’t aligned with the core purpose.

Cognitive biases related to telos:

• Goal gradient hypothesis: People are more motivated as they see themselves getting closer to achieving a goal. Emphasize how your solution helps them get closer to their desired outcome, and make this progress clear throughout the discussion.
• Endowment effect: When people feel ownership over a goal or outcome, they are more invested in it. Frame your recommendations in a way that makes your audience feel like achieving the goal is personally meaningful to them.
• Sunk cost fallacy: People are often reluctant to abandon projects they’ve invested in, even when the outcome is unclear. Use telos to redirect their focus away from past investments and toward the larger, more beneficial long-term goal.

How telos supports your other modes of persuasion:

• Ethos (credibility): When your telos is aligned with the audience’s goals, it enhances your credibility. If your audience feels you understand their long-term objectives and are committed to helping them achieve those objectives, they’re more likely to trust you.
• Pathos (emotional appeal): Telos often taps into your audience’s values and aspirations. By linking your argument to their overarching purpose or vision, you create an emotional connection that drives engagement and action.
• Logos (logical appeal): Telos provides a logical framework for your argument. Once the ultimate goal is defined, your logical reasoning and data-driven arguments should all point toward how you’ll achieve that goal.
• Kairos (timing): Telos helps guide the timing of your argument by ensuring it is relevant to the current stage of the project or organization. The right goal presented at the right time enhances the impact of your message.

Example

Let’s say you’re trying to convince a client to adopt a new technology solution. The telos in this case might be to increase long-term competitiveness and innovation. By making the telos clear from the beginning, you ensure that every aspect of your argument points toward this larger goal. You can align your ethos by showcasing your past experience with similar technologies, appeal to pathos by emphasizing the client’s aspiration to be a market leader, and strengthen your logos by showing data that supports how the new technology will meet this goal.

Storytelling

Storytelling is a useful tool in business communication because it makes complex ideas more relatable and memorable. For technical experts, it bridges the gap between detailed data and the broader business context. For internal teams, it helps align everyone around common goals.

Why storytelling matters

Stories humanize messages, turning abstract or technical ideas into something tangible. Instead of listing features or technical specifications, telling a story about how a client’s workflow improved makes your message more relevant and compelling. This approach helps others quickly understand the value of your solution.

When crafting stories, follow this structure:

• Context: Explain the situation or background that led to the problem.
• Challenge: Define the issue or opportunity.
• Resolution: Share how your solution solved the problem and the positive outcome.

This guides your audience through a logical, easy-to-follow journey.

Listening informs better stories

Effective storytelling starts with listening. By understanding your client’s challenges, priorities, and goals, you can craft a story that resonates more deeply with them and speaks directly to their needs.

Key elements of effective storytelling

In a business setting, storytelling typically involves these elements:

• Character: The client, user, or team facing the problem.
• Conflict: The challenge or issue they’re dealing with.
• Resolution: The solution you provided and how it solved their problem.

Using this structure keeps your audience engaged and helps connect your message to real-world results.

Tailor your story to your audience

To make your story more impactful, align it with your audience’s priorities. For example, is the client focused on reducing costs, improving efficiency, or customer satisfaction? Shape your story around what matters most to them.

• Understand motivations: Identify what drives your audience — cost savings, reliability, innovation — and highlight how your solution addresses these points.
• Use relatable examples: Choose stories that reflect the types of challenges your audience faces so they can easily connect with your message.

Story framework for technical storytelling

For technical experts, a familiar, problem-solving framework can be helpful:

1. Problem: Clearly define the issue, e.g., “Our client’s deployment process was slow.”
2. Approach: Explain how you investigated and addressed the problem, e.g., “We automated their pipeline.”
3. Resolution: Describe the result, including measurable outcomes like reduced release time.
4. Learnings: Share insights gained or next steps, like ongoing improvements.

This structured approach is clear and familiar to technical audiences, making your message easier to follow while highlighting the business impact.

Tips and techniques

• Start with the outcome: Lead with the positive result to grab attention and emphasize why the story matters.
• Be concise: Stick to the essential points and avoid unnecessary details.
• Tap into emotions: Even in technical discussions, emotions like frustration or relief can make your story more relatable.
• Show clear outcomes: Ensure your story ends with a measurable, positive result that aligns with your audience’s goals.
• Use visuals: For complex solutions, consider using visuals like diagrams or flowcharts to complement your verbal story. For example, a user journey map can demonstrate both functionality and user experience, helping to communicate the value of your solution more effectively.

Questions to reflect

• What are some recurring challenges your clients face? How can you incorporate these into your storytelling to make your narratives more relevant?
• Reflect on a time when a story you told didn’t land well with the audience. What elements could you adjust to make it more compelling and relatable?

Dealing with unclear or ineffective communication

Effective communication is always a shared responsibility, and as a consultant, you have a duty to facilitate and guide that process. When communication stalls, becomes ambiguous, or breaks down entirely, your role is to step in and improve the flow. By being attentive, proactive, and adaptable, you can help keep communication lines open and productive, even when others struggle to articulate their points or provide clarity.

Recognizing unclear communication

Identifying when communication is falling short is the first step in improving it.

Here are some signs to watch out for:

• Requests for clarification: If people frequently ask you to explain or repeat information, it might mean your message isn’t clear. For example, if a client repeatedly asks about a feature you’ve explained, consider providing additional details or using different terms.
• Repeated questions: When the same questions keep coming up, it’s a signal that previous explanations weren’t fully understood. If a team member keeps asking about deadlines, it might mean the timeline wasn’t communicated effectively.
• Silence or lack of response: An absence of feedback can indicate confusion or disengagement. If you send out important information and receive no replies, follow up to ensure everyone is on the same page.
• Identify and clarify “undefined” statements: Watch out for vague terms like “soon,” “someone should,” or “we’ll handle that later.” These words lack specificity and can cause confusion. Replace them with clear, concrete details like deadlines, names of responsible people, and specific actions.
• Missing actionable details or next steps: If tasks are left undone because people aren’t sure what’s expected, instructions may need to be clearer. After meetings, make sure action items are well-defined.
• Misunderstandings between other people: Observing miscommunication among team members can highlight areas where communication needs improvement. For instance, if two developers are duplicating work, they may not be coordinating effectively.

Use the techniques we already discussed

So how do you deal with unclear or ineffective communication?

Start with using the techniques we covered earlier:

• Active listening: Fully concentrate on the speaker, understand their message, and respond thoughtfully. This shows respect and helps prevent misinterpretation.
• Mirrors: Reflect the speaker’s words back to them to confirm understanding. If a client says, “We need this done soon,” you might respond, “When you say ‘soon,’ are you thinking within the next week?”
• Summarizing: Briefly restate the main points to ensure everyone is aligned. For example, “To summarize, we’re agreeing to implement feature X by the end of the month.”
• Paraphrasing: Use your own words to explain what you’ve heard, which can reveal any misunderstandings. “So, you’re suggesting that we prioritize the mobile interface before the desktop version, correct?”
• Repetition: Repetition is a simple but effective tool. After summarizing, check in with the other person — phrases like “So, if I understand correctly, you’re suggesting we…?” are helpful.
• Encourage the same from others: Ideally, others will do this with you as well. Since you can’t control that, be proactive — ask them directly for feedback or summaries. Saying something like, “Thanks for being patient with me, I just want to make sure we’re on the same page — could you let me know if I’m understanding this correctly?” encourages an open dialogue.
• Validate other people’s emotions: Acknowledge feelings to build trust and rapport. “I can see that this delay is frustrating, and I appreciate your patience as we work through it.”

Improve clarity

These strategies can help you ensure that communication is as clear as possible, avoiding misunderstandings and reducing the need for repeated clarifications.

• Break information into manageable steps: Communication often becomes unclear when too much information is delivered at once. Break complex topics into smaller, digestible parts, and focus on addressing one element at a time to maintain clarity.
• Ask for specific examples: To clarify abstract ideas or ambiguous statements, ask for specific examples. Concrete examples often make complex or theoretical discussions easier to understand, for both you and the other participants.
• Use visual aids to support your message: For complex discussions, try using diagrams, sketches, or other visuals to add another layer of understanding. Visual tools can make complicated concepts more tangible and help people follow your thought process more easily.

Switch to higher-bandwidth method

In the course of working alongside clients or internal teams, it’s important to recognize when a particular communication method is failing and to know when it’s time to switch to a more appropriate or “higher-bandwidth” option. The key is to adapt based on how effectively ideas are exchanged and understood. Here’s how to handle this for common communication methods:

Chat

Chat tools are great for informal, quick communication, but they are not always ideal for more complex discussions. Here are signs that a conversation is struggling in chat and when it may be better to switch:

Signs it isn’t working:

• Excessive back-and-forth: If a topic requires several back-and-forth messages without making progress or feels like it’s getting convoluted, that’s a sign chat isn’t cutting it.
• Conflicting interpretations: If there is visible confusion or multiple people are interpreting things differently, this is a clue that the message might need more thorough explanation.
• Misunderstandings or frequent clarifications: If participants keep asking for repeated clarifications, chat may not provide the depth needed to sort through the issues.

When to switch:

• Move to a video or audio call if the conversation needs immediate resolution or involves nuanced topics that benefit from tone and visual cues.
• Use email or a documented format (such as a shared document) if a more structured or detailed summary is needed to keep the information clear for future reference.
• Schedule a quick meeting if there are multiple people involved who need to provide input, and chat is making the discussion cumbersome.

Email

Email is often used for more formal communication, documentation, or when a record of the conversation is needed. However, it’s not always effective for nuanced or time-sensitive discussions.

Signs it isn’t working:

• Long, drawn-out chains: When an email thread becomes overly long, with multiple messages needed to explain a simple concept, the conversation is likely losing clarity.
• Lag in response time: If delays in responses are impacting project timelines or creating bottlenecks, it indicates that email might be too slow for what’s required.
• Misunderstood instructions or incomplete responses: If people frequently misinterpret the instructions or only partially address your points, it’s a sign that more interaction is needed.

When to switch:

• Move to chat or a call if faster resolution is necessary or if back-and-forth is becoming cumbersome. Chat can allow for more interactive, real-time clarification without clogging inboxes.
• Schedule a meeting if the issue is complex and involves several stakeholders. A synchronous discussion can help ensure everyone is aligned quickly.
• Use a shared document if you need a more organized format for collaboration — this allows everyone to see the entire context and contribute with comments.

Meetings

Meetings are valuable for in-depth discussions, aligning multiple stakeholders, and dealing with complex issues. However, they aren’t always the best way to communicate and can easily turn into a waste of time if not properly managed.

Signs it isn’t working:

• Participants seem disengaged: If people are silent, multitasking, or not participating, it may indicate that a meeting is unnecessary or that the content could have been communicated in a simpler way.
• Repetition or talking in circles: If the conversation keeps revisiting the same points without making progress, it might indicate that the objectives aren’t clear, or that another format may be better suited for deeper thought.
• Information overload: If meetings become overwhelming with too many points being covered or without actionable takeaways, it’s a sign that an asynchronous method might have been more appropriate.

When to switch:

• Use email or a shared wiki if the purpose is simply to share information or provide an update. Documentation can save everyone time if discussion isn’t truly needed.
• Switch to a breakout or one-on-one chat if the meeting involves topics relevant only to a few people while the rest of the attendees aren’t engaged. Split the conversation for more focused communication.
• Follow up with chat or a shared document for tracking action items or allowing people to clarify points after the meeting without holding everyone up.

Wikis

Wikis or shared documentation are great for organizing information that multiple people need access to, creating transparency, and serving as a reference. However, relying solely on written documentation can be limiting when real-time discussion or nuanced understanding is needed.

Signs it isn’t working:

• Inability to reach agreement: If edits are being made back and forth without consensus, or people are leaving conflicting comments, it’s an indication that written communication alone isn’t resolving the disagreement.
• Low engagement: If stakeholders are not adding or interacting with the documentation as expected, it could mean that the format doesn’t suit everyone’s preferred communication style, or that more engagement is required to clarify its purpose.
• Misinterpretation of details: If people are misinterpreting written instructions or missing key details, this might mean the documentation is too complex or requires more discussion.

When to switch:

• Schedule a call or a meeting if conflicting comments suggest there’s a need to clarify positions, align, and come to an agreement. Sometimes, a direct conversation can resolve ambiguity more effectively.
• Use chat to prompt discussion about a section that needs attention or clarification. This can help ensure everyone knows what parts of the document require immediate review.
• Follow up with email summaries for stakeholders who need a clear outline of decisions or next steps after updates are made to a wiki. Emails can serve as an alert for important changes.

Specific advice for different methods of communication

Different methods of communication require different tactics:

• Email: Be explicit in your subject lines and use bullet points for clarity. Don’t assume people will read between the lines — state your purpose clearly and directly.
• Chat: If a discussion drags on with numerous messages and still lacks clarity, suggest a quick call or video chat. Chats are great for informal, quick interactions but can easily lead to miscommunication if overused for complex topics.
• Documentation: When documenting decisions or information, include a summary or bullet points at the start. This provides context and helps people find key points quickly.
• Meetings: Meetings often pose specific challenges when it comes to clarity and effective communication.
  • Pause and reset: If the conversation becomes muddled or unclear, don’t hesitate to pause and reset. A simple, “Let’s take a moment to clarify what we’ve covered so far” can bring everyone back to a common understanding.
  • Break for clarification: Allow opportunities for questions or clarifications mid-meeting rather than waiting until the end. Sometimes, one person’s confusion can lead to insights that benefit the whole group.

Facilitating other people understanding each other

As consultants, it’s not just your job to communicate well, but also to help others do the same. There will be times when you notice others struggling to understand each other, and you can play a key role in facilitating that exchange.

• Step in to clarify: If you observe two people misunderstanding each other, you can act as a translator of sorts. For example, say, “It seems like you’re both approaching this from slightly different angles. Let me summarize to make sure we all understand.”
• Ask prompting questions: Encourage others to clarify by asking leading questions. This helps the group reach a better mutual understanding without placing blame on anyone for the confusion.
• Encourage patience: Sometimes, misunderstanding can lead to frustration. Use your role to calm the discussion, such as saying, “I think we’re close to understanding each other — let’s take a moment to go over this again.”

Even the best communicators can encounter situations where their messages are misunderstood or overlooked.

Poor communication can lead to missed deadlines, duplicated work, and friction within the team. For instance, if a critical task isn’t clearly communicated, the project might suffer delays, or team members might waste time working at cross purposes. Recognizing this impact is crucial to addressing issues before they escalate.

This section will explore strategies to identify and address communication breakdowns, ensuring clarity and alignment in all interactions.

Recognizing communication breakdowns

Before you can address communication issues, it’s essential to recognize the signs that something isn’t right. Here’s how to spot and assess these situations effectively.

Identifying signals of unclear communication, such as confusion, repeated questions, or lack of response: Pay attention to how your colleagues and clients react to your messages. If you notice signs like repeated questions, requests for clarification, or even silence, these may indicate that your communication wasn’t clear. For example, if a team member frequently asks for the same information, it could suggest that your initial instructions were not well understood.

Evaluating your own role in the communication process and being mindful of how your messages are received: It’s easy to assume that a communication breakdown is the other person’s fault, but it’s important to reflect on your own role. Consider how you deliver your messages and whether you’ve provided enough context. For example, did you give clear instructions, or did you assume prior knowledge that the recipient might not have?

Tips and techniques:

• Listen actively: Pay attention to verbal and non-verbal cues during conversations. If someone’s tone or body language shifts, it might indicate confusion or discomfort, signaling a potential communication issue.
• Clarify immediately: If you notice repeated questions or silence, pause and ask directly if there’s anything unclear. This can prevent miscommunication from escalating.
• Request feedback: After sharing information, ask the recipient to summarize what they’ve understood. This can quickly reveal any gaps in understanding.
• Document key points: Write down or email important details from discussions. This reduces the chance of information being forgotten or misinterpreted.
• Simplify your language: Avoid using complex terms or jargon unless you’re certain the other person is familiar with them. Use simple, clear language to convey your message.

Questions to reflect:

• Can you recall a recent situation where your message wasn’t understood? What could you have done differently?
• How often do you ask for feedback to make sure your communication is clear? What might change if you did this more regularly?
• Have you noticed any common patterns in when and how communication breaks down in your interactions?
• How do you handle situations where you’re unsure if the other person has understood your message?
• What steps can you take to become more aware of non-verbal cues that might indicate a communication breakdown?

Corrective strategies for realigning communication

Once you’ve identified a communication breakdown, the next step is to realign and restore clarity. Here are practical strategies to help you achieve this.

Acknowledge when communication has broken down and take steps to clarify: When you recognize that something isn’t clear, address it head-on. For example, if you realize there’s been a misunderstanding in a project meeting, you might say, “I noticed some confusion around the next steps. Let’s take a moment to clarify what we need to do.” Acknowledging the issue directly can prevent further confusion and shows that you’re proactive in resolving it.

If the initial method didn’t work, try a different medium (e.g., switch from email to a call) or modify your language: If your message wasn’t clear the first time, consider changing how you communicate. For instance, if an email didn’t convey the urgency of a task, a quick phone call or video chat might be more effective. Similarly, if you’re using technical terms that might not be familiar to the recipient, try simplifying your language.

Use repetition and summary to emphasize critical points: To ensure that your main points are understood, don’t hesitate to restate them in different ways. Summarize the key takeaways at the end of a conversation or in a follow-up email. For example, after a meeting, you might send a summary email that outlines the decisions made and the next steps, reinforcing what was discussed.

Confirm you’ve understood their position and make sure both parties are on the same page: One effective way to avoid misunderstandings is to restate what the other person has said in your own words. This technique, often called “mirroring,” helps confirm that you’ve understood their perspective correctly. For example, you might say, “Just to make sure we’re aligned, I understand that you’re concerned about the project timeline because of X, Y, and Z — does that sound right?”

Involve others in finding a solution to the communication breakdown, fostering a collaborative approach to resolving issues: When communication issues arise, invite others to help resolve them. This might involve brainstorming solutions together or getting feedback on how to improve communication moving forward. For example, if there’s a recurring issue with how tasks are assigned, you might work with the team to create a more streamlined process.

Leverage templates, checklists, or visual aids to structure your communication more effectively: Sometimes, a structured approach can help prevent misunderstandings. Tools like templates, checklists, or visual aids can make your communication clearer. For instance, using a project management tool with clearly defined tasks and deadlines can help ensure everyone is on the same page.

Tips and techniques:

• Pause and reset: If you sense confusion, pause the conversation to summarize what has been discussed so far, then proceed with clarity.
• Choose the right medium: Consider the nature of your message before deciding how to deliver it. Urgent matters may require a meeting, while detailed information might be best in writing.
• Practice paraphrasing: Repeat what you’ve heard in your own words to confirm understanding. This not only clarifies the message but also shows active engagement.
• Visualize your message: Use diagrams, flowcharts, or bullet points to simplify complex ideas. Visual aids can often make abstract concepts easier to grasp.
• Follow up: After any significant discussion, send a brief follow-up message summarizing the key points and next steps to ensure everyone is aligned.

Questions to reflect:

• How often do you follow up after meetings or discussions? What impact does this have on project outcomes?
• In what ways could you incorporate more visual aids or summaries in your communications to enhance clarity?
• How do you decide when to address misunderstandings immediately versus letting the conversation continue?

Addressing inappropriate comments and behaviors

There may be times when you need to address comments or behaviors that are inappropriate or unprofessional. Handling these situations with tact and professionalism is crucial to maintaining a respectful work environment.

• Manage professionalism and address issues directly: When a colleague or client makes an inappropriate comment or behaves unprofessionally, it’s important to address the issue calmly and directly. For example, if someone uses a culturally insensitive term, you might say, “I’m not sure if you know that [inappropriate term] can be interpreted as offensive. You can use [appropriate term] instead.” This approach upholds professional standards while showing respect for everyone involved.

• Handle sexist comments and sexual harassment: Sexist remarks and any form of harassment should never be tolerated. If you encounter such behavior, it’s crucial to confront it immediately and follow Bitovi’s policies on reporting and addressing these issues. For example, you could say, “That comment is inappropriate and goes against our commitment to respect and inclusion. I’m going to report this to HR as per our company policy.” Taking a firm stand not only supports those who might be affected but also reinforces a culture of respect.

• Establish clear boundaries: Clear communication of your personal and professional boundaries is essential in fostering a respectful and safe environment. For example, if you’re uncomfortable with certain jokes or discussions, it’s okay to say, “I’m not comfortable with this conversation, let’s keep our discussions professional.” Encouraging others to do the same helps build a culture where everyone’s boundaries are respected.

Tips and techniques:

• Use a prepared response: Have a few neutral, prepared responses ready for addressing inappropriate comments. For example, “That language might not be appropriate here,” can help you address the issue without escalating the situation.
• Follow up in private: If addressing the issue publicly seems difficult, consider having a private conversation with the person afterward. Use this as an opportunity to explain why the behavior or language was problematic and how it can be avoided in the future.
• Document incidents: If you observe or experience inappropriate behavior, document the incident with details about what was said or done, who was involved, and the context. This documentation can be useful if further action is required.

Questions to reflect:

• Think about a time when you witnessed an inappropriate comment or behavior. How did you react, and what might you do differently now?
• How comfortable do you feel addressing inappropriate comments directly? What steps can you take to build your confidence in these situations?

Handling escalations

Handling escalations effectively is key to maintaining productive and trusting relationships with clients and colleagues. By preventing issues from escalating and addressing conflicts directly and professionally, you can ensure smoother collaborations and fewer disruptions to your work and the overall project. This module will cover techniques to prevent escalations, recognize signs of tension, resolve conflicts quickly, and handle problematic behavior appropriately.

Prevent escalations

Preventing escalations starts with setting the right foundation for communication. By establishing clear expectations from the beginning, many misunderstandings and tensions can be avoided. Prevention also involves proactive behaviors and frequent check-ins.

• Establish clear communication expectations: From the start of a project, make sure all stakeholders know how and when communication should happen. Clarify preferred communication channels (like Slack, email, or meetings) and establish norms for response times. This helps prevent misunderstandings about what is expected in terms of engagement and keeps everyone on the same page.
• Proactively communicate updates, risks, and challenges: Provide regular updates on progress, challenges, and potential risks before they become problems. If a deadline is at risk, or there’s a dependency blocking progress, communicate early. This transparency builds trust and gives the team a chance to react before things become critical. For example, if a deliverable is going to slip because of a dependency issue, mention it as soon as it looks like a problem, rather than waiting until the deadline passes.
• Focus on alignment on key deliverables and goals: Always make sure everyone understands the core objectives and is aligned on the priorities. This means reiterating the key goals of a project frequently, especially during major meetings. Misalignment is often the root of escalations, so it’s important to revisit shared goals during updates or one-on-ones to ensure everyone is on track and focused on the same outcomes.

Signs of tension

Being able to recognize early signs of tension can help you step in before small issues become major escalations. There are usually clear indicators when a relationship or a project is beginning to strain.

• Changes in behavior: Be alert for any sudden changes in how people interact. This could be a previously communicative team member becoming quiet, or someone who was collaborative suddenly becoming resistant. Such shifts can signal dissatisfaction or frustration that may need addressing.
• Reduced collaboration: Notice if there’s a drop in collaboration. This might look like fewer contributions to discussions, or a client not responding as promptly as usual. Reduced collaboration is often a sign that something is bothering them, and it’s important to address it directly to prevent further disengagement.
• Negative body language: In meetings, pay attention to nonverbal cues. Crossed arms, lack of eye contact, sighs, or a generally closed-off posture can indicate discomfort or disagreement. It’s helpful to address concerns tactfully in these moments, perhaps by asking for opinions directly or checking in privately after the meeting.

Address conflicts quickly

When a conflict arises, it’s crucial to address it promptly while maintaining a calm and respectful environment. Handling conflict effectively can prevent it from escalating into a larger issue.

• If the conversation is heated, let people cool off: If emotions are high, give people time to cool down before continuing. This could mean taking a short break during a meeting or scheduling a follow-up discussion later in the day. Keeping calm helps everyone focus on solutions rather than fueling the conflict.
• Focus on facts and feelings: Address the issues by sticking to the facts — what happened, how it impacted the team or project, and what can be done. Acknowledge emotions as well; this is where active listening comes in. Reflect back on what you hear, like, “I understand you’re feeling frustrated about the delay.” This helps others feel heard and understood, which is often what they need most in tense situations.
• Collaborate on solutions that help everyone: Encourage everyone involved to contribute to finding a resolution. Open up the discussion to brainstorm possible solutions, and focus on options that align with shared goals. For example, if a deadline conflict arises, work together to adjust the timeline or redistribute tasks in a way that works for everyone.
• Only compromise when absolutely necessary: Compromising can sometimes seem like a quick fix, but it’s not always the best solution. Only compromise if it doesn’t sacrifice core project goals or create a pattern of giving in that could lead to further issues. Aim for a solution where all parties feel valued and heard, rather than simply settling for the easiest path.

Escalate problematic behavior internally

When dealing with unprofessional behavior, either from a client or a colleague, it’s important to escalate appropriately within Bitovi. You are not alone in these situations, and Bitovi has processes in place to support you.

• What to do if a client or another team member acts unprofessionally: If someone behaves unprofessionally — such as showing disrespect, making unreasonable demands, or undermining your role — it’s important to document the behavior clearly and factually. Escalate the issue internally rather than trying to handle it solo, especially if it’s persistent or particularly serious.
• Share with your Principal, Manager, or Director quickly: Don’t wait to raise an issue. Sharing concerns with your Principal, Manager, or Director early allows them to provide guidance and support. They can help determine the best approach, whether that means addressing the behavior directly, bringing in additional resources, or finding another solution. For instance, if a client repeatedly disregards boundaries on meeting times, escalating internally can help find a balanced approach that maintains both professionalism and healthy boundaries.

In consulting, effective communication is crucial to managing escalations, whether they arise with clients or within the team.

This section covers strategies to proactively prevent issues, handle conflicts, and manage escalations in a way that maintains trust and relationships.

Proactive communication to prevent escalations

Proactively managing communication can prevent small issues from becoming larger problems. Establishing clear channels and expectations from the outset is key.

Establishing clear communication channels and expectations

Set up regular check-ins with clients to discuss progress and address concerns early. Consistent communication helps build a strong relationship with the client. Regular check-ins allow both parties to stay aligned on project goals, timelines, and any potential risks. These touchpoints should be a mix of formal meetings and informal touch bases to ensure open dialogue.

Use transparent and clear language in all communications to promote mutual understanding. Avoid jargon or overly technical terms unless they’re part of the client’s vocabulary. The goal is to ensure that your message is understood the way it’s intended. Clear, straightforward communication reduces the chances of misunderstandings that could lead to escalations.

Tips and techniques:

• Schedule recurring meetings in advance: Set up regular meetings at the beginning of the project and send calendar invites immediately to establish consistency.
• Use a shared communication platform: Agree with the client on a preferred platform (e.g., Slack, Teams) to centralize communication and ensure nothing gets lost in email threads.

Questions to reflect:

• What tools or strategies can you use to ensure all stakeholders are aligned on communication expectations?
• How do you adjust your communication style when you notice misunderstandings in previous exchanges?

Keeping clients informed and avoiding surprises

Provide regular updates, even when there is no news, to maintain trust and transparency. Keeping clients informed, even if there’s nothing new to report, reassures them that the project is under control. A simple message indicating that everything is on track can prevent clients from feeling neglected or anxious about progress.

Highlight potential risks or challenges before they escalate into issues. If you foresee any challenges or risks, communicate them as early as possible. Explain the steps being taken to mitigate these risks. This proactive approach shows the client that you are on top of the situation and are committed to finding solutions before problems arise.

Tailor communication styles to the client’s preferences and organizational culture. Different clients have different communication preferences. Some may prefer formal reports, while others might appreciate a quick email or a phone call. Understanding and adapting to the client’s preferred style and pace of communication fosters better collaboration and helps avoid friction.

Tips and techniques:

• Adopt a no-surprises policy: Make it a rule to inform clients immediately about any issues, even minor ones, and provide a timeline for resolution.
• Create a progress update template: Use a consistent format for updates, including sections for achievements, risks, and next steps to maintain transparency.
• Log all communication: Keep detailed records of all client interactions, including verbal discussions, to track promises and follow-ups.

Questions to reflect:

• What methods do you use to keep clients updated regularly? How could these be improved?
• How do you handle sharing potential risks with clients before they become issues?
• When was the last time a client was surprised by an issue? What could have been done differently?

Setting expectations and aligning goals

Align on key project goals and milestones at the start and regularly revisit them. At the beginning of the project, make sure both your team and the client are aligned on what success looks like. This involves defining key deliverables, milestones, and deadlines. Revisit these periodically to ensure that everyone remains on the same page.

Clearly communicate any changes in scope, timeline, or resources as soon as they arise. Scope creep, delays, or resource changes can lead to escalations if not communicated promptly. Whenever there’s a change, inform the client immediately, explain the impact, and propose solutions to adjust the plan accordingly.

Collaborate on creating a shared project timeline and update it regularly. A shared project timeline that both your team and the client can access helps keep everyone informed about what’s happening and when. Regular updates to this timeline reflect the project’s current status and any adjustments made along the way.

Tips and techniques:

• Use a kickoff meeting checklist: During the kickoff, ensure all key points like goals, milestones, and deliverables are discussed and agreed upon by both parties.
• Document scope changes immediately: As soon as there is a scope change, document it, get client approval, and adjust timelines and resources accordingly.
• Use visual aids: Use Gantt charts or roadmap diagrams to illustrate project timelines and ensure everyone is on the same page.

Questions to reflect:

• How do you ensure all stakeholders are aligned on project goals from the start?
• What steps do you take to communicate scope changes to clients? How effective are these?

Addressing misunderstandings and conflicts constructively

Misunderstandings and conflicts are inevitable in any team, but how they are handled can make or break team dynamics. When a conflict arises, address it promptly by bringing the parties involved into a calm and neutral setting, either virtually or in person. Use “I” statements to express your perspective without blaming others, such as, “I noticed that we seem to have different views on this issue, and I’d like to understand your perspective.” Aim for a solution that respects everyone’s viewpoints and keeps the team’s goals in focus.

Tips and techniques:

• Schedule conflict resolution: Set aside dedicated time to address misunderstandings when emotions are less likely to be heightened.
• Use neutral language: Describe the issue without assigning blame, focusing instead on the facts and impact.
• Collaborate on solutions: Involve all parties in finding a resolution, ensuring everyone feels heard and part of the solution.

Questions to reflect:

• Have you ever been involved in a conflict that was resolved constructively? What made the resolution effective?
• How do you usually approach misunderstandings in your team?

Managing internal conflicts

Conflicts within teams can disrupt productivity and lead to escalations if not managed properly. Identifying conflicts early and addressing them with effective communication is essential for maintaining a healthy work environment.

Identifying sources of conflict early

Encourage open communication within the team to surface issues before they escalate. Create an environment where team members feel comfortable voicing concerns. Regular team meetings and one-on-ones can help identify any brewing tensions. By addressing issues early, you can prevent them from becoming bigger problems.

Recognize signs of tension or dissatisfaction among team members or stakeholders. Pay attention to non-verbal cues and changes in behavior that might indicate dissatisfaction or conflict. These can include reduced collaboration, negative body language, or a drop in productivity. Being attuned to these signs allows you to intervene before the situation worsens.

Tips and techniques:

• Create a safe space for feedback: Encourage team members to share concerns by offering dedicated time during meetings for open discussion without judgment.
• Monitor communication patterns: Pay attention to how team members interact with each other. Frequent misunderstandings or short responses can indicate underlying tension.

Questions to reflect:

• What early signs of conflict have you noticed in your team, and how did you address them?
• How do you create an environment where team members feel safe to express concerns?
• What tools or methods do you use to keep an eye on team dynamics?

Techniques for diffusing tensions and finding solutions

Use active listening techniques to understand all perspectives. When conflicts arise, it’s important to listen actively to everyone involved. This means giving your full attention, asking clarifying questions, and paraphrasing what you’ve heard to ensure understanding. Active listening helps everyone feel heard and respected.

Facilitate problem-solving sessions that focus on common goals and interests rather than positions. When mediating conflicts, steer the conversation towards shared goals and interests. Instead of focusing on who’s right or wrong, encourage the team to work together to find a solution that benefits everyone.

Explore win-win solutions where possible and seek compromise when necessary. Aim for solutions that satisfy everyone involved. However, when a perfect win-win isn’t possible, seek compromises that address the most critical concerns of each side. This approach helps maintain team cohesion and morale.

Tips and techniques:

• Practice neutral language: When facilitating conflict resolution, use neutral language that doesn’t assign blame, such as “I’ve noticed that…” instead of “You did…”.
• Hold separate one-on-one sessions: Before bringing the group together, speak with each party involved in the conflict separately to understand their perspectives.

Questions to reflect:

• How do you typically approach a team conflict? What could you improve?
• In what ways do you ensure all perspectives are heard during a conflict resolution process?
• What strategies do you use to shift the focus from blame to solutions?

Addressing potential negative perceptions or objections proactively

Anticipate objections from stakeholders and prepare reasoned responses. Before presenting a solution or decision, think about possible objections and prepare responses that address those concerns. Being prepared demonstrates foresight and helps you manage the situation more effectively.

Present solutions that align with the interests of everyone involved. When proposing solutions, highlight how they meet the needs of everyone involved. This helps to garner buy-in and reduces resistance.

Use empathy to understand the concerns of others and validate their feelings. Show empathy by acknowledging the emotions and perspectives of others. Validating someone’s feelings, even if you don’t fully agree, can help de-escalate tension and foster a more collaborative atmosphere.

Tips and techniques:

• Role-play objections: Before a meeting, role-play potential objections with a colleague to prepare your responses and strengthen your position.
• Use data to back up your points: When addressing objections, provide data or examples to support your reasoning, which can help counter negative perceptions.
• Acknowledge valid concerns first: Start by acknowledging any valid points in the objections before presenting your counterarguments. This shows respect for the other person’s perspective.

Questions to reflect:

• What are the common objections you face in your role, and how do you handle them?
• How do you validate others’ concerns without agreeing to terms that could be unfavorable?
• What methods have you found effective in shifting negative perceptions?

Providing constructive feedback within the team

Use a feedback framework that emphasizes positive reinforcement along with constructive criticism. When giving feedback, use a structured approach such as the “sandwich method” (positive-constructive-positive) or the “SBI model” (Situation-Behavior-Impact). Start by highlighting what’s going well, then address areas for improvement, and finish with encouragement or reinforcement of positive aspects.

Encourage a culture of continuous improvement where feedback is viewed as an opportunity for growth. Promote the idea that feedback is a tool for personal and professional development. Encourage team members to seek and provide feedback regularly, making it a natural part of the team’s culture.

Practice self-reflection and encourage team members to do the same to improve communication habits. Self-reflection helps individuals identify their own communication strengths and areas for improvement. Encourage team members to reflect on their interactions, consider how they might approach things differently, and share their insights with the team.

Tips and techniques:

• Use the “4A” feedback model: Offer feedback by acknowledging, advising, agreeing, and acting. Acknowledge the good, advise on what could be improved, agree on action steps, and encourage the person to act on them.
• Time your feedback: Give feedback close to the event when memories are fresh, but wait until emotions have cooled to ensure a productive conversation.
• Ask for self-assessment first: Before providing feedback, ask the person how they think they performed. This opens the door for a more reflective conversation.

Questions to reflect:

• How do you balance positive and constructive feedback when addressing team performance?
• How do you ensure feedback is seen as a growth opportunity rather than criticism?
• What feedback have you received in the past that helped you improve your communication?

Handling client escalations effectively

When escalations do occur, handling them with a structured and empathetic approach is essential. The goal is to resolve the issue while preserving the client relationship and maintaining project momentum.

Uncovering hidden pieces of information that could change the negotiation or resolution strategy

Ask open-ended questions to gather all relevant information. In any escalation, it’s crucial to fully understand the situation. Open-ended questions encourage the client to share detailed information, which can reveal underlying issues that need to be addressed.

Identify underlying issues or concerns that may not be immediately apparent. Clients might escalate issues based on surface-level concerns, but there could be deeper issues driving their dissatisfaction. Look beyond the immediate problem to understand the root cause, which will help you formulate a more effective resolution.

Explore the client’s perspective fully to uncover motivations or constraints driving their actions. Understanding the client’s perspective, including their pressures, constraints, and motivations, allows you to tailor your response in a way that meets their needs and eases the tension.

Tips and techniques:

• Use the “5 Whys” technique: When discussing an issue, ask “Why?” five times to dig deeper into the root cause of the escalation.
• Document all details immediately: Take thorough notes during conversations to ensure no details are overlooked in your analysis.
• Involve a third party if necessary: Sometimes a neutral third party, like another team member, can offer fresh perspectives or uncover hidden information.

Questions to reflect:

• What techniques do you use to uncover the real issues behind client escalations?
• How do you ensure you have all the necessary information before forming a resolution plan?
• What’s an example of a situation where you uncovered hidden details that changed the outcome?

Responding to escalations with a structured approach

Stay calm and focused so emotions do not drive the conversation. When faced with an escalation, it’s important to remain composed. Emotions can escalate the situation further, so maintaining a calm and focused demeanor helps to keep the conversation productive.

Restate the client’s concerns to show understanding and validation. Begin by summarizing the client’s concerns to make sure you’ve understood them correctly. This shows that you’re listening and value their input, which can help defuse tension.

Propose actionable steps to address the issue and agree on a clear resolution plan. Once the issue is clearly understood, outline specific steps that will be taken to resolve it. Ensure that both you and the client agree on the resolution plan, including any follow-up actions and timelines.

Tips and techniques:

• Create a response template: Develop a template that outlines the steps you’ll take in response to an escalation, including acknowledgment, investigation, resolution, and follow-up.
• Use silence strategically: After addressing the client’s concerns, pause and give them space to respond. This can provide them with time to reflect and reduce the intensity of their reaction.

Questions to reflect:

• How do you typically respond to escalations, and what could be improved?
• What are the most critical elements to include in a structured escalation response?
• How do you manage your emotions during tense conversations with clients?

Maintaining client relationships during and after escalations

Acknowledge the impact of the issue and apologize if appropriate, without admitting fault unnecessarily. Acknowledging the client’s experience is important for maintaining the relationship. If an apology is warranted, offer it sincerely, but be careful not to accept blame unnecessarily, as this could have contractual or reputational implications.

Reaffirm commitment to the client’s success and the project’s objectives. Reassure the client that you are committed to their success and to delivering the project as agreed. This helps rebuild trust and shows that you are focused on finding solutions.

Follow up after resolution to rebuild trust. After resolving the issue, check in with the client to ensure they are satisfied with the outcome. This follow-up demonstrates your ongoing commitment and helps to strengthen the relationship.

Tips and techniques:

• Send a follow-up email: After resolving an escalation, send a detailed follow-up email summarizing the actions taken and the plan moving forward.
• Schedule a post-mortem meeting: Arrange a meeting with the client after the issue is resolved to discuss what went wrong and how to avoid it in the future.

Questions to reflect:

• How do you maintain client relationships after a difficult escalation?
• How do you balance acknowledging the client’s concerns without taking unnecessary blame?

Escalating issues internally when necessary

Identify situations where further escalation is required and bring in higher management or other departments. Not all issues can be resolved at the same level, so it’s important to recognize when to escalate the matter internally. Involving higher management or other departments can bring additional resources or authority to the situation, which can be necessary for resolution.

Clearly communicate the gravity of the situation to internal stakeholders to encourage swift and appropriate action. When escalating internally, clearly articulate the severity and impact of the issue. This way, it receives the appropriate level of attention and resources needed for a timely resolution.

Document the escalation process and outcomes for future reference and learning. Keeping a record of escalations, how they were handled, and the outcomes can be valuable for future reference. This documentation can help in improving processes, training team members, and preventing similar issues from arising.

Tips and techniques:

• Prepare a clear escalation brief: When escalating internally, prepare a concise brief that includes the issue, impact, actions taken, and what’s needed from higher management.
• Use “escalation huddles”: Organize quick internal meetings with relevant stakeholders to align on how to handle the escalation before communicating back to the client.

Questions to reflect:

• What criteria do you use to decide when an issue needs to be escalated internally?
• How do you communicate the seriousness of an escalation to internal teams effectively?
• What can you learn from past escalations to improve your internal escalation process?

Communication tools

Tools like Grammarly and Large Language Models (LLMs) can help address a wide range of communication challenges by improving clarity, professionalism, and consistency.

For unprofessional communication and sensitive topics, Grammarly flags inappropriate language and suggests professional alternatives, ensuring that communication is respectful and culturally sensitive. LLMs help craft inclusive messages by offering phrasing that respects people’s preferred pronouns and avoids inappropriate jokes or colloquialisms. They also provide rephrasing suggestions for handling delicate topics effectively.

In situations involving escalations and de-escalation, Grammarly ensures emotionally neutral and professional language, while LLMs can draft calm, solution-oriented responses. Additionally, LLMs can simulate role-playing scenarios for training on de-escalation techniques.

When it comes to missing, delayed, and uncommunicated information, Grammarly helps structure updates and emails to ensure they are timely and professional. LLMs can proactively generate reminders, updates, or status reports to reduce communication gaps. For uncommunicated issues, Grammarly suggests empathetic language, and LLMs help draft clear, actionable messages.

For follow-up and unclear communication, Grammarly identifies overlooked details and confirms next steps clearly, while LLMs generate automatic follow-up prompts or thoughtful responses to client concerns. Both tools simplify complex or lengthy communication. Grammarly highlights unclear language and provides straightforward alternatives, while LLMs rewrite content to make it more concise and audience-appropriate.

To ensure consistent communication, LLMs standardize templates and terminology for team-wide use, ensuring consistency in messaging across all members. This eliminates confusion caused by mixed messages.

Addressing tool proficiency and selection, Grammarly integrates with platforms like email and Slack to provide real-time feedback, improving proficiency with communication tools. LLMs offer contextual advice on using specific tools and recommend the best medium for particular communication needs.

For style and communication behavior, Grammarly adjusts tone to align with the intended communication style, such as friendly, formal, or direct. LLMs tailor responses to match the recipient’s style, reducing misunderstandings and friction.

Finally, to improve meeting quality, Grammarly refines meeting agendas and minutes, making them clear and concise. LLMs help structure agendas, summarize key takeaways, and generate follow-up summaries automatically, ensuring meetings are efficient and outcomes are well-documented.

By improving the quality, clarity, and professionalism of communication, these tools address many common client issues and support more effective interactions. While not a substitute for human judgment, they provide practical solutions for better communication workflows.

Using communication tools effectively can save time and improve accuracy. Tools like Grammarly help catch errors, and AI can assist with brainstorming or generating drafts, but it’s important to review and personalize AI outputs. Leveraging these tools thoughtfully allows you to create polished, clear messages that reflect well on you and your work.

Fixing errors

Correct grammar and spelling are essential for maintaining credibility and professionalism. Errors in your writing can lead to misunderstandings or reduce your perceived competence. Tools like Grammarly are excellent for catching basic mistakes, but it’s important to know their limitations.

• Use Grammarly for all communication with others: Before sending emails, reports, or documentation, run your text through Grammarly to catch errors you might have missed. While it helps identify mistakes you might miss, don’t rely on it for complex language issues. Grammarly can offer suggestions, but it doesn’t always understand tone or context. For example, it may correct grammar but miss a situation where a more formal tone is needed.
• Manually proofread suggested changes: These tools aren’t perfect and sometimes offer suggestions based on stylistic preferences or context they don’t fully grasp. Review each correction to ensure it fits the tone and intention of your message.
• Ask for a second opinion: If you’re unsure about a suggestion, consult a colleague. This can help ensure your message aligns with the professional standards of your team or client.
• Learn from suggestions: Use Grammarly as a learning tool. When it flags a mistake, take a moment to understand why the correction is being suggested so you can avoid similar errors in the future.
• Watch for false positives: Sometimes, tools like Grammarly will suggest changes that aren’t appropriate, especially for technical or industry-specific language. If you’re unsure, double-check with another source or ask a colleague.

Grammarly is great for catching simple errors, but it’s important not to blindly accept its suggestions. For example, it might suggest rewording a sentence to match formal writing conventions that don’t align with your conversational tone. Use it to improve clarity while staying true to your voice.

How do Large Language Models (LLMs) work?

Large Language Models (LLMs) can be powerful for improving communication, but it’s important to understand their limitations. These models predict the next word or phrase based on probability. While this enables them to generate realistic text, they do not think, reason, or understand context like humans do.

For example, if you type “The dog likes to play with the…” the model predicts the most likely word to complete the sentence (e.g., “ball”, “rope”, stick”, “toy”, etc.). While this prediction can often be accurate, LLMs occasionally produce errors or “hallucinations” — information that sounds plausible but is not based on fact.

Microsoft has a great article on How Large Language Models work.

Formal reasoning

https://garymarcus.substack.com/p/llms-dont-do-formal-reasoning-and

By adding seemingly relevant but ultimately irrelevant information to problems, we observe significant performance drops (up to 65%) across all state-of-the-art models (Sec. 4.4). This highlights a major limitation in the models’ ability to identify relevant information for problem-solving, likely due to their reasoning relying more on pattern matching than on formal logical processes.

Getting early feedback

Getting feedback on your writing is an important step in improving communication, but tools alone can’t provide all the context or nuances your audience needs.

• Use LLMs for general feedback, not as a replacement for human input: LLMs, like ChatGPT or Grammarly’s tone checker, can provide broad feedback on clarity or structure, but they lack full context. They might suggest revisions that don’t align with your specific situation, audience, or goals.
• Use LLMs for an initial review: These tools can point out things like wordiness, unclear phrasing, or tone. However, it’s essential to remember that no tool understands the full context of your message. For example, a tool might flag passive voice, but passive construction might be appropriate when discussing an action or issue indirectly.
• Ask a colleague for feedback: While tools can help, nothing replaces having someone from your team review your work. They can offer feedback that takes into account the specific needs of your project or client relationship, and they will understand the nuances LLMs can miss.

Brainstorming

AI tools are great for expanding ideas and getting past roadblocks, but they shouldn’t be the starting point for your brainstorming process. Always begin with your own ideas, then use LLMs to expand.

• Generate your own ideas first: Before turning to LLMs, take some time to list your thoughts and initial concepts. LLMs are powerful for generating additional ideas, but they work best when you’re clear about your goals and direction.
• Use LLMs to explore perspectives you might not have considered: After you have a foundation, use LLMs to suggest alternative approaches. For example, if you’re designing a product feature, ask the LLMs for different user scenarios or edge cases that you might not have thought of. This can help round out your idea with fresh input.
• Avoid using leading questions: If you ask the LLMs questions that suggest a specific outcome (e.g., “Is this email worded well?”), it will often reinforce your existing beliefs rather than offer new perspectives. Keep your prompts open-ended, like “If you were to read this email, what would your next actions be?” to get a broader range of responses.
• Remember the LLMs has limitations: LLMs is good for brainstorming, but it won’t always provide accurate or fully applicable ideas. As with feedback, you need to review and refine the output based on your own expertise and the specific context of your project.

Meeting notes

Recording and sharing meeting notes effectively is an important part of communication, but while LLMs can help, they shouldn’t be your only solution.

• AI tools for meeting notes are not a replacement for good note-taking: LLMs can transcribe meetings, but they often miss context or important details. For example, if a discussion takes an unexpected turn or if there’s a key decision made off-script, the tool might not capture it. Always take your own notes or have a designated note-taker.
• AI transcripts can have errors: Tools that generate meeting transcripts often misunderstand jargon, technical terms, or even some speech patterns. Be sure to double-check any transcript generated by LLMs to make sure it’s accurate before sharing it with your team or client.
• Use LLMs to summarize but verify the output: LLMs can create summaries from transcripts, which can save you time. However, these summaries may overlook key details or misinterpret the priorities discussed in the meeting. It’s important to review and adjust the summary as needed before sharing it more widely.

Diagramming

Visual aids like diagrams are useful for simplifying complex ideas, and there are tools that can help translate written information into visuals quickly.

• Convert text into a Mermaid diagram for Confluence: Mermaid is a simple language for generating diagrams from text, which can be embedded into tools like Confluence. For example, if you’re explaining the flow of a new feature in a meeting, you can take a simple description and generate a flowchart using Mermaid.
• Review the diagram for accuracy and clarity: After converting text to a diagram, make sure the resulting visual correctly represents the intended flow or structure. LLMs might misinterpret complex instructions, leading to inaccurate or confusing visuals.

Transparency and honesty

Being upfront about your use of LLMs builds trust with clients and colleagues. Transparency ensures that your professional relationships remain strong, even as you incorporate LLMs into your communication processes.

The use of LLMs in client meetings, especially those that record or transcribe, requires careful consideration to protect confidentiality and privacy.

• Obtain explicit consent: Always ask for permission from all participants before using LLMs to record or transcribe a meeting, and explain the purpose and data handling.
• Be transparent: Frame the use of LLMs as a tool that enhances your work rather than replacing human input. For example, you might say, “I used LLMs to draft this summary quickly, but I’ve reviewed it to ensure it accurately reflects our discussion.” This approach maintains professionalism while being honest about AI’s role.
• Maintain confidentiality: Always check what tools store your input and use it for training models.

Tips and techniques:

• The importance of obtaining consent before using LLMs in client meetings: Always ask for explicit consent from all participants before using LLMs to record or transcribe a meeting. Explain how the tool works, what data it captures, and how the information will be stored and used. This transparency is critical for maintaining trust.
• Being upfront with clients and colleagues about LLMs usage in your communication processes: Let clients and colleagues know when LLMs are being used, especially in content creation, meeting transcription, or summarization. This transparency helps manage expectations and fosters trust.
• Disclose LLMs use early: When starting a project or a communication thread, inform your clients or colleagues if you plan to use LLMs and explain how they will be used.
• Clarify AI’s role: Make it clear that LLMs is used to enhance productivity or creativity but that all final decisions and outputs are reviewed by a human.
• Clear guidelines on when LLMs meeting recorders are appropriate and when they are not: LLMs meeting recorders can be useful for capturing detailed notes, but they should not be used in meetings involving sensitive client information, such as legal discussions, financial details, or personal data. Always assess the meeting’s content before deciding to use LLMs.
• Alternatives to LLMs recording for sensitive or private client communications: For highly confidential meetings, consider traditional note-taking methods. If detailed records are necessary, designate a trusted team member to take notes manually. This way, sensitive information remains secure.
• Have a backup plan: For meetings where LLMs recording is not suitable, prepare alternative methods such as manual note-taking or assigning a dedicated scribe.

Questions to reflect:

• How can you communicate your use of LLMs in a way that maintains trust and transparency with clients and colleagues?
• What are the potential consequences of not being transparent about LLMs use in your communications?
• How can you frame your use of LLMs to highlight its benefits while making sure that human expertise is still valued?
• What steps can you take to ensure that the use of LLMs recording tools does not compromise client confidentiality?
• What criteria should you use to decide when LLMs recording is or isn’t appropriate for a client meeting?

Exercise: Effectively using tools

TODO: take some communication written by LLMs and improve it.

Effective use of LLMs in communication

AI tools have become essential for improving efficiency and effectiveness in communication. However, to harness these tools effectively, it’s important to understand their appropriate use, limitations, and ethical considerations.

This section will cover how to integrate LLMs into your communication practices, with a particular focus on best practices for client interactions.

Appropriate uses of AI

Brainstorming support

AI can be a valuable partner in brainstorming sessions, allowing you to quickly generate a wide range of ideas. By feeding prompts into LLMs, you can explore different perspectives, uncover unexpected angles, and jumpstart the creative process. However, it’s important to use LLMs as a springboard rather than a crutch.

• How LLMs can generate ideas quickly and efficiently: LLMs excels at generating large volumes of ideas in a short amount of time. For example, if you’re brainstorming new features for a product, LLMs can help by offering suggestions that might not be immediately obvious. This rapid ideation can help you move forward more quickly in the early stages of project planning.

• Best practices for using LLMs in collaborative ideation sessions: When using LLMs in a group setting, involve all team members in interpreting and refining the ideas generated. Encourage everyone to review LLMs suggestions critically, making sure the final ideas are well-rounded and not overly influenced by the AI’s initial outputs.

• Don’t use leading questions because LLMs will reinforce your pre-existing beliefs: Avoid framing your prompts in a way that leads the LLMs towards a specific answer. For example, instead of asking, “What are the benefits of feature X?” ask a more open-ended question like, “What should we consider when thinking about feature X?” This approach ensures that the AI’s output remains broad and exploratory, rather than simply reinforcing your existing beliefs.

Tips and techniques:

• Use LLMs to explore alternative viewpoints: Challenge the LLMs to present opposing or unconventional ideas to broaden the scope of your brainstorming sessions.
• Iteration cycles: Use LLMs to revisit and refine ideas after the initial brainstorming session. Run multiple iterations where LLMs builds upon previously generated ideas, helping to evolve them into more developed concepts.

Questions to reflect:

• How do you avoid the risk of over-reliance on LLMs during the ideation process?
• In what ways can you use LLMs to introduce perspectives that might otherwise be overlooked in team brainstorming?

Summarizing information

AI tools can help you sift through large amounts of information and distill it into key points, saving time and ensuring clarity. However, the quality of AI-generated summaries depends on how well you review and interpret the output.

• Techniques for leveraging LLMs to distill key points from large documents, emails, or discussions: To create accurate summaries, feed the LLMs specific sections of documents or transcripts, and ask it to highlight the main ideas or key takeaways. This can be especially useful for client communication, where distilling complex information into digestible summaries is crucial.

• Reviewing AI-generated summaries for accuracy and relevance: Always review the summaries produced by LLMs to ensure they accurately reflect the most important points. Double-check for any potential misinterpretations or missed nuances. This step is particularly important in client-facing communications where accuracy is critical.

Tips and techniques:

• Chunking information: Break down large documents or discussions into smaller, manageable sections before feeding them into AI. This approach helps the LLMs produce more accurate and focused summaries.
• Summarization refinement: After obtaining an AI-generated summary, manually tweak it to add clarity or emphasize points that might have been underrepresented. This ensures the summary aligns with the intended message.

Questions to reflect:

• What steps can I take to ensure that AI-generated summaries capture the most critical points?
• How do I verify that LLMs summaries are accurate and not missing key context or nuances?
• In what situations should I avoid relying solely on LLMs for summarizing important information?

Meeting transcription

AI-powered transcription tools can be a game changer in managing meeting notes, allowing you to focus on the discussion rather than note-taking. However, making sure these tools are used effectively and ethically is key.

• Benefits of using LLMs for transcribing meetings: LLMs transcription tools can produce near-instant transcriptions, which are invaluable for capturing detailed discussions, identifying action items, and ensuring everyone has access to the same information. This can improve accountability and alignment within teams.

• Tips for integrating LLMs transcriptions into workflow: Incorporate LLMs transcriptions into your regular workflow by reviewing and editing them for clarity and accuracy before sharing them with the team. Make it a habit to summarize key points and action items in a follow-up email to ensure everyone is on the same page.

• Make sure transcriptions are confidential and private: Always use secure LLMs and follow Bitovi’s privacy guidelines to protect sensitive information. If the meeting involves confidential topics, consider manually transcribing key points instead of relying on LLMs that may store data externally.

Tips and techniques:

• Pre-meeting setup: Ensure the LLMs tool is configured correctly before the meeting starts, checking settings like language, speaker identification, and noise reduction.
• Post-meeting review: After the meeting, quickly review the transcription, correcting any errors and summarizing key points and decisions for easy reference.

Questions to reflect:

• What steps can you take to ensure the accuracy and clarity of AI-generated meeting transcriptions?
• How can you use LLMs transcriptions to improve follow-up communications and accountability?
• What are the potential risks of relying on LLMs for meeting transcription, and how can you mitigate them?

Ethical considerations in LLMs use

While LLMs can greatly enhance your communication processes, it’s important to be mindful of its ethical implications. Over-reliance on AI, insensitivity in its application, and lack of transparency can undermine your communication efforts.

Avoiding over-reliance on AI

AI is a powerful tool, but it cannot replace the nuance and empathy that humans bring to communication. Understanding when to rely on LLMs and when to rely on human judgment is essential for effective communication.

• Recognizing the limitations of LLMs in nuanced communication scenarios: LLMs can struggle with understanding context, tone, or emotion in communication. For example, LLMs might not pick up on subtle cues in a conversation that indicate a client is unhappy or concerned. Always be ready to step in with human insight when the situation requires it.

• Strategies for human oversight and critical thinking: Implement a process where LLMs outputs are regularly reviewed by a human before being shared or acted upon. Encourage team members to think critically about LLMs suggestions and to use their own expertise to make final decisions.

Tips and techniques:

• Cross-check with human review: Always have a human review critical communications or decisions that have been influenced by LLMs to ensure they meet the expected standards.

Questions to reflect:

• What signs might indicate that you are becoming too reliant on LLMs for your communication tasks?
• In what situations might LLMs fail to grasp the nuances of a conversation, and how can you address this?
• How can you balance the convenience of LLMs with the need for human oversight in communication?

Maintaining sensitivity in communication

There are certain situations where LLMs may not be appropriate due to the emotional or sensitive nature of the content. Recognizing these situations is key to maintaining professionalism and empathy in your communication.

• Guidelines for identifying when LLMs may not be suitable: LLMs should be avoided in situations that require emotional intelligence, such as delivering bad news or handling delicate negotiations. In these cases, human empathy and understanding are irreplaceable.

• Examples of appropriate vs. inappropriate LLMs usage scenarios: Appropriate use might include using LLMs to draft a project update email or summarize meeting notes. Inappropriate use could involve relying on LLMs to compose a message about a sensitive issue, such as responding to a client complaint or discussing layoffs.

Tips and techniques:

• Use LLMs as a drafting tool: For sensitive communications, use LLMs to draft the message, but rely on your judgment to finalize it, ensuring the tone and content are appropriate.
• Empathy checks: Regularly assess AI-generated content for emotional intelligence, adjusting language and tone to better suit the situation and audience.

Questions to reflect:

• What are some ways to ensure that AI-generated communication maintains the right level of empathy and professionalism?
• How can you safeguard against the potential insensitivity of LLMs in emotionally charged situations?

Special considerations for client interactions

Client interactions are often where communication is most critical. Ensuring that LLMs are used appropriately and ethically in these scenarios is essential for maintaining strong client relationships.

Maintaining a human touch in client relationships

While LLMs can improve efficiency, maintaining a personal connection with clients is crucial for building trust and long-term relationships. Finding the right balance between LLMs use and personal interaction is key.

• Balancing the efficiency of LLMs with the personal touch necessary for building and maintaining client trust: Use LLMs to handle routine tasks like scheduling, drafting updates, or summarizing meetings, but ensure that personal communication — like thank-you notes, check-ins, or delivering important news — is done personally. This approach shows clients that they are valued beyond the efficiency LLMs can offer.

• Techniques for integrating LLMs outputs with personalized communication: Start with AI-generated content, but always add a personal touch. For example, after LLMs drafts an email, edit the tone and add personalized elements that reflect your relationship with the client. This ensures the communication feels tailored and thoughtful rather than generic.

Questions to reflect:

• How can you integrate LLMs into your client communication strategy without sacrificing the personal touch?
• What are some ways to make sure that AI-generated content doesn’t come across as impersonal or generic to your clients?
• How can you maintain strong, trust-based relationships with clients while still leveraging LLMs for efficiency?